A glowing endorsement

Some time later, Shepard, Liara and Ashley stumbled out of the brothel, just in time to see the new advertisement playing on a vid screen by the entrance.

“Everyone needs to let off steam,” narrated a sultry voice.

“From information brokers,” Liara appeared onscreen, nude and uncensored and being spanked over the knee of an asari stripper.

“To soldiers of the alliance,” the vid cut to a shot of a naked Ashley bound to a chair as an asari stripper performed a lap dance.

“Even legends have to indulge in the carnal pleasures,” Shepard appeared onscreen, suspended midair and bound in shinobi rope, as two asari massaged her nude form in aphrodisiac oils.

She turned to face the camera and began to speak, trying desperately to maintain stoicism as an asari brushed her fingers against the commander’s clit. “I’m Commander Shepard! And this - this is my favourite brothel on Illium!”

Footage of a naked Ashley pressing Liara and Shepard’s heads into a kiss played as the advertisement began detailing price points and terms & conditions. The naked trio stormed off into a nearby alleyway, blushing profusely at the permanent impression they had left on this planet. Who knew Asari were such lightning fast filmmakers?

Shepard clutched the note the asari had given her. This had better be worth it.