Will It Ever Be Enough?

On my knees with my hand plunging between my thighs I tossed my head back and moaned loud, so loud that I clapped my free hand over my mouth to silence my cries. I trembled and I was rocked by the **** of it, as I pushed another finger in to join the others in my sex, to press and stretch myself in a crude and unsatisfying approximation of something really thick and hard.

I needed cock. I craved cock. My body ached for it, the heat of the evening all building within me until I was certain that I could make myself cum tonight but that it wouldn’t be enough for me.

This was all so new and it was undeniably exciting and a bit of solo play had always been enough to satisfy before, but that was before I was her. Now I needed a partner. I needed to satisfy my own curiosity. I needed to prove to myself the certainty that things would be better with someone else to help me.

I could make myself cum, but only a partner could quench the fire burning in my belly.

Only for a time, though, I knew that even now. Because everything in this new body was heightened and I really do mean everything.

The sensations on my skin. The feelings in my belly. The hunger. The need. The cravings.

All of it so much stronger and all of it so much more intense and I could get close, oh god I could get so fucking close to it, but I could never get enough from anyone or anything.

It’s only when I’m dead that I’ll stop needing this. Until that day comes I’ll just be running like a machine, aching and throbbing and begging for more.

The pressure is building now. All of it cresting towards a familiar end. First felt in my bed by myself and then next on the fingers of my bully and now back in myself again, the rush of sensations only heightened by the roar of the water and the feel of it on my skin.

Sensation is intense, and now I can feel every inch of myself. As the water crashes down it heightens my awareness of myself, outlining the limits of my body and making me take in the fullness of this being all at once.

My skin. My body. My heat. My need.

Gasping I tighten the clench of the palm over my mouth. The moan that is torn out of my chest rumbles through me and reaches to the limits of my body. My eyes flicker, rolling backwards as my back arches and my whole body starts to shake. I gasp for air and I feel the rush as my lungs lose the ability to even breath for an instant, as I feel it rushing and bubbling at the edges of me like a pot about to boil over.

And like a kettle starting to roil a high-pitched whine roars out of me as my body shakes, as my thighs clench, as my abs tighten, as my skin boils.

I’m on my knees but I slip to one side, smacking against the wall of the shower and not even able to keep myself up anymore. Sliding down to the bottom of the tub my back arches and I feel the trembles rush over me like the shocks of an earthquake, making my whole body shake.

Making my breasts tremble. Making my thighs burn. Making my body clench and then release and then clench again as my vision goes white and I lose all sensations in the roar of sensations that are rushing over me.

I feel everything and can make sense of none of it. A riot, all at once.

And gasping I feel the spasms rush through me again and again. This time, this third time, seems somehow so much stronger than any other but it does little to satisfy me. Even as I melt into a puddle on the floor of the shower and the hot water rushing down on me feels like ice in comparison to my burning skin I know that I could go again right now.

My body relaxes, a smile lights on my lips. I feel the suffusion, the aftershocks of satisfaction, but I know I could have more.

And so I pull my hands away from my body, willing them as far from my skin as I possibly can get them. I lay on the bottom of the shower breathing heavily and turn onto my back, staring up at the ceiling and willing the water pounding down to wash away the desire in me.

But it won’t go. It can’t go.

I don’t know what it’ll take to satisfy this beast of need in me.

I don’t know if anything exists.

I don’t know if anything will ever be enough.

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