I Need To Go Before...

“This is wrong,” I said, to Blake I think, my voice huskier than intended, “We shouldn’t be hiding here.”

“I’ll remind you that they were the ones that interrupted us. Just because they didn’t know we were here, doesn’t mean they didn’t intrude.”

I shook my head, “Doesn’t matter. We should go. I should go.”

But I didn’t move a muscle, didn’t take a single step. Hell I didn’t even adjust my dress to gain back a little bit of my privacy. My arms were held protectively over my body, my fingers curling subtly into my skin as I felt it burn beneath my touch.

I didn’t want to go because I felt like we were intruding. That was just a pleasant fiction to hide the truth from a dangerous man.

I needed to go because the longer I stayed, the greater the chances that I would do something stupid. And even worse, the greater the chances that he would find me out.

“I should go,” I say breathily, tearing myself off the wall but only managing to take a half step before Blake reached out and grabbed me back, pressing me back up against the wall and keeping me there while he stared intense daggers at me.

“What are you thinking, Emily?” he hissed, “You do see that’s Kim out there. Kim as in ‘in charge of our whole damn week’ Kim. What is your plan? You’re just going to step out there and apologize for watching them and then walk away with everything even?

“She’s going to find out we’ve been watching and she’s going to make the rest of this week a living hell for us, more than it is probably going to be already. Because Kim out there strikes me as the type who makes grudges easily and holds them for a long time and while she won’t catch you on this, she’ll find some technicality to bog us both down.

“We can’t leave. Not without her knowing. The way I see it we’re stuck here until they’re good and finished and then, and only then, can we get away.”

Flush and feeling flusher by the minute I pulled in tighter to myself, squeezing my thighs together to still the beating need inside of me and failing miserably at it.

“Please,” I pleaded, “I can’t stay here.”

“Why not?” he asked, “Give me one reason why you can’t stay.”

But I couldn’t. Telling him that I couldn’t stay because I was so turned on I could barely even think would be giving this guy too much ammunition and he had so much on me already. I couldn’t give him any more, couldn’t risk it.

Couldn’t find myself in the midst of it.

Damn this body and damn this day. Every time I thought I found a way through something new came up to confuse me and frustrate me. Why couldn’t I stay stable for more than a few minutes without something, some new need or impulse, derailing me entirely.

Was this what it was like for women all the time? Just a bundle of nerves and needs and misunderstandings? God I thought life as a horny guy in college was bad, but this was something else.

I closed my eyes and tried to center myself but all I could feel was his hand on my shoulder, his thumb pressing in to the top of my chest, and remembering the way his body had felt when he was all over me moments ago.

“Please,” I pleaded, but it was a faint little moan in comparison to the **** I’d used to push him off before and that anger was something that I couldn’t hold onto, not anymore.

Deep breath in and shuddering breath out. Fingers digging into my skin to bring pain to the surface that didn’t help to push my need away, that only built it instead.

Eyes flickering open to look at Blake as his own eyes narrowed on me and then it happened, then he understood what exactly was happening to me.

I saw the realization bloom on his face, broadening into a grin that could be only described as shit eating. He knew what was wrong with me. He knew it was entirely right.

And he knew, in that moment, that he could take advantage.

If he wanted to.

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