You come to the vigilantes' bolt-hole, and resolve not to be intimidated!

Both Wushu Panda and Magik Knight are staring at you. You struggle to keep your expression as neutral as possible as you listen in on the conversation of the two rough free-lance vigilantes in the front seats, the two men totally unaware you can hear them over the road noise.

"Whaaaaa?!"Daisaku's already nasally voice becomes a shrill falsetto of disbelief. "You're jokin', right? Tell me you're pulling my leg!"

His testosterone-poisoned companion guffaws jubilantly. "No, no! I really mean it, Daisaku! C'mon, we've earned a night off, don't you think? You never get out!"

"Are you crazy?" Daisaku demands. "You mean we went in and rescued those heroines just 'cause you wanted to... to screw them?"

"No, of course not!" Mike says defensively. "I would save any woman from needledick shitbags like that. But if hot girls wanna show their appreciation, eyyy, what's wrong with that? And trust me kid, they DO. The guys running around in colored long-johns are all a bunch of arrogant pricks, entitled assholes, and limp-wristed sissies. When those hero girls get a chance to meet some more down-to-earth guys who aren't afraid of the mean streets, they're all over 'em as fast as you can blink! And that 'them' is gonna be 'us', tonight!"

"Mike, I told you!" the younger guy whines. "I'm savin' myself for marriage! You keep thinking I'm playing some kinda joke when I say that, and I keep telling you I'm serious! Whoever I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with deserves a virgin, who'll be loyal!"

"Holy crap, you really were serious?" comes the snorting reply. "Don't be ridiculous! 'Loyal'? You know me, Daisaku, I'm not that kinda jerk who horns in. I never go after another guy's girlfriend or wife or whatever. But there's a difference, my friend, between stealing from the fruit stand and picking apples in the wild. And I do mean WILD! Did you see that blonde in the black pleather? Awooo! I bet she's into some real kinky shit, and I can't wait to find out what!"

...

You wrinkle your nose. "And what am I, chopped liver?!" Oh crap, you said that out loud.

...

"Mike..." Daisaku says in a weary tone.

But the so-called 'Madman' keeps going: ."..and the other blondie too! Maybe a little less wild, that one, but not in a bad way. I bet she's great to hang out with. Y'know, have some beers, shoot the shit, grab your guns and go actually shoot some shit, maybe watch a ball game together..." he pauses for dramatic effect, "and, oh yeah, bury your face in those big, juicy melons! Can you imagine? Play yer cards right and you won't have to!"

...

You turn around so Magik Knight can't see your embarrassed face. You don't know what's worse -that he's such a shameless lech, or that you're kind of flattered and happy not to be overlooked. And in all fairness, you mused about it being fun to 'go shoot some shit' with these guys just a few minutes ago.

...

"I, uh, I think you're barkin' up the wrong tree there, Mike." Daisaku says in exasperation. "Don't she... Lickety-split Lynn, I mean, seem like she's... not gonna be interested? You know? She seems like that kinda tough, doesn't-need-no-man kind of girl?"

"Oh no. Trust me, kid. She's definitely interested." Mike gloats. "Spunky tomboys like her are real sweet once you get to know 'em better. 'Specially when you get to know 'em in the Biblical sense! Hahahaha!"

"Hey! Owch! Keep your hands on the wheel, dammit!" Daisaku yawps.

...

You fold your arms. Dammit, how do you take that? It's... sort of a compliment, but what a smug bastard that guy is! Even so, the little guy shouldn't be assuming you aren't interested, either! Wait, no - that's not what you meant...

...

"And the other one! That firecracker with the weird oriental hairstyle! I think she likes you the most!" The gruff man in the driver's seat keeps laughing.

"What? Are you crazy?" Daisaku's voice becomes shrill with disbelief again. But this time he sounds even more embarrassed. "Mike, she hates us! Were you not paying attention? I think she might seriously beat the shit out of us the next time we run into her!"

"Oh you got so much to learn, Daisaku. When women really want to kick your ass, they don't say it like that. They go all cold. Or, if they're the type to, they just up and do it. When a women gets really hot under the collar and just says she's gonna kick your ass, that means she likes you. Just like you shout at me all the time to show you care." he pauses, and then laughs loudly again. "Hah! Whoah, that came out kinda weird. Hey Daisaku, you wanna practice smooching so you don't mess up your shot with your first girl? Mwah mwah mwah!"

"WATCH THE DAMN ROAD YOU FUCKIN' MANIAC!" Now that shrill cry by the asian guy in his sharp Brooklyn accent was definitely loud enough that Magik Knight and Wushu Panda heard it.

...

"Well?" A soft feminine voice comes to you from closer as Ilyana leans towards you with an insufferable smirk. "What is the verdict?"

"They're... talkin' about tactics, that's all." you sputter. It's a half-truth, at least.

The bolt-hole that the two vigilantes bring your motley team to is an old pool hall that looks like it's seen better days. It has a pull-in garage which opens up when the van approaches. When all of you disembark into the interior, you can see that it's even worse on the inside. The place has been converted into an impromptu living space, gunsmith, investigation center, and (by the looks of it) shooting gallery. There are corkboards and newspaper clippings all over the walls, a variety of tools, piles of dirty clothes and greasy rags left laying around all over the place...

"Mike!!" Daisaku gasps, mortified. "You told me you were gonna clean this place up for the next time we had to use it, 'cause it's your turn! Look at it! Christ, the place is a fuckin' pigsty! I think it's actually worse than a week ago!"

You smirk and giggle lightly as the two have another brief argument, the giant man smugly brushing off every criticism with a toothy grin. Magik Knight, meanwhile, looks like her earlier excitement has dimmed a little bit. "THIS is what you call a headquarters?" she demands haughtily.

"Yeah, sorry. I didn't know I was gonna be having female guests." 'Madman Mike' shrugs casually. "Just make yourself comfy, I'll bulldoze things a little bit..."

"No!" Magik Knight says, tossing her long platinum blonde hair and flicking her wrist disdainfully. "This is an **** on the senses and it will not go unanswered! You have called down the wrath of Magik Knight!" Silently, she disappears.

Ilyana is suddenly standing on the other end of the room, near one of the biggest junk piles. She puts her hand daintily upon it, and the whole heap of empty beer cans and cardboard boxes vanishes, leaving nothing but bare floor. And then she teleports again to the next biggest pile, and with just one touch of her finger, zaps it away as well. And again, and again.

"Whoah. That's pretty impressive, eh pal?" Daisaku says with a smile.

But Mike's eyes are wide and he's gasping in horror. "Wait a sec... WAIT! That's my stuff!" He runs towards Magik Knight but before he can grab her, she's teleported again. She just keeps doing it no matter how many times he shouts at her to stop. The spectacle of the huge man running back and forth helplessly trying to stop a slender blonde girl from cutting a swathe through his personal junkyard is quite amusing, and you start snickering under your breath along with Daisaku. Even Panda is cracking a smirk.

"There!" Magik Knight dusts her hands off. The place still isn't exactly clean, but most of the trash and clutter has been dealt with. She picks out a relatively clean couch and gracefully sits down, crossing her long sensuous legs. "You are welcome!"

"Welcome?! But, but..." the mustachioed man sputters helplessly. "Where did my stuff go?"

"Where it belongs, of course." Magik Knight says with a proud smirk. "Straight to Hell."

Mike turns to you, shocked. "She's... she's just pulling my leg, right Lynn?"

"Ehhh..." you waver your hand uncertainly. "I ain't a theologian, so, technically, I couldn't say, but..."

"Hey, hey!" Daisaku cuts in. "Before we get too comfortable or anythin, now that we're somewhere safe, why don't you two girls give us all the details you have on this evil organization you're up against? There's a gang of **** dealers and pimps untouchable by the law that we've been chipping away at but it sounds like that might be small time in comparison. Tell us everything that happened."

"Wow. So the so-called world's deadliest assassin had a kid, huh?" Mike rubs his chin. "And convincing him to stay in jail means that the law won't do anything about her?"

"Damn..." Daisaku shakes his head. "And she managed to beat three superheroines all at the same time? One of whom had just smashed up a giant robot singlehandedly?"

"Singlehandedly?!" Wushu Panda leaps to her feet. "No! Absolutely not! She only managed to destroy that metal toy because I was distracting it!"

"Right, sorry, sorry..." Daisaku bows to her apologetically with his hands clasped. "I'm pretty sure I know a guy who can help though. He should be getting back in town around sometime tomorrow, last I heard. And we're gonna ask him really nicely this time, without anybody threatening to shove anything up anybody's ass, right Mike?"

"Sure." the big guy says. "You try asking nicely first. And when that doesn't get anywhere... you know how it goes. Hey, I'm starving. Can't stop regular scumbags or supervillains on an empty stomach. I'm gonna go get somethin' to eat, and maybe some beer. And tomorrow we can set up some stake-outs of Louie's place to make sure he doesn't duck us. Might take a while, so we'll have to organize separate shifts, y'know?" he winks un-subtly at his partner.

Darn it, you think to yourself. Even though you know that big lug has dirty intentions, you can't say anything about it or put a stop to it, or else you'll look like a stick in the mud and Magik Knight is going to make fun of you more than ever. And besides, why should you be afraid of nobodies like these guys?! You're a superheroine, darn it!

"I'll show you... I can take anything you can throw at me." you mutter to yourself. And then you notice that you're smiling and pointedly stop it.