You meet 'Madman Mike' Moreno and his sidekick - your heroes (using the word loosely...)

A strong hand seizes your wrists and you feel the bindings being sliced off. The deep voice from before is right in your ear this time. "That's quite a trick you have, girly. Or should I say 'girls'? Ya think you could copy my car keys? I'm always losing the damn things."

"Ha, yeah," the young guy, apparently named 'Daisaku', says. "If she can do ropes, why not? All she'd have to do is hold them in the palm of her hand, right?"

"I was thinking more like in her cleavage, but yeah, same idea!"

This newcomer's salty language makes you do a bit of a double-take. "Wh-whah? Hey now! That better have been a darn joke!" you say, whirling to face him. But as you do, your eyes snap wide open.

Standing in front of you is an absolute mountain of a man, well over six feet tall and built like a tank, putting most of the actual costumed superheroes you've seen to shame. His dark blue shirt has half the buttons undone, showing off a mat of curly black chest hair growing over a set of pecs that look like you could crush bricks against them. His skin is a deep tan, and his dark, straight hair marks him as being of hispanic or perhaps italian descent. Underneath his full moustache, his lantern-jawed visage is currently wearing a casual smirk. In one meaty fist he's holding a still-smoking submachine gun, while in the other he's holding up Wushu Panda's hands for his friend to slice her free.

The other man, Daisaku, looks like he's a bit younger than his brick shithouse of a companion, being in his early 20s at most. He's wearing a leather bomber jacket and has an earnest, boyish charm. Whereas the big guy next to him looks like he stepped out of a poster from a 1980s action flick, his smaller partner looks more like he came from the cover of a J-pop CD.

The mustachioed giant chuckles at you with a toothy grin. "Of course it was a joke! I don't want any copies of my keys floatin' around. You know how many punks in this city would jump at the chance to wire my car up with TNT? And c'mon, don't tell me that was the first time somebody made a wisecrack about your boobs."

Your face is getting red. "It's... it's the first time a GUY did!"

"Ahhh, thank you sooo much darling." Magik Knight says in a smooth tone as Daisaku pulls the blindfold off her. "Ooooh," the sultry slavic blonde licks her lips, "and what a sight it is. Perhaps you've heard of me? 'Magik Knight'? If you are here looking for Deathsmite and his organization, we have some very valuable information to share... perhaps somewhere more comfortable than zis?"

"That's just what I wanted to hear." the huge guy recklessly tucks the still-smoking **** weapon in his hands into his waistband, and reaches out to shake Ilyana's hand. "I'm Mike. The guys on the **** used to call me 'Madman Mike', before I got the boot."

"I can imagine why!" Wushu Panda says irately, wriggling harder than ever to try and free herself.

"Hey now, Panda," you say, "Don't be like that. He may not exactly be a gentleman but he did save our bacon..."

You look back over at 'Mike'. He seems to be of two minds - not whether to stare lustfully at you or not, but rather, which of the two scantily clad blondes in front of him to stare at harder. "Now don't get the wrong idea there, shooter!" you say. "It's not like we were helpless or anything! We took out a dang truckload of bad guys, it's just that their boss had some dirty tricks..."

"Not as much of a 'dirty a trick' as SHOOTING people! You said you're not even police anymore? What the hell is wrong with you? Magik Knight should teleport you straight to the police station!" Wushu Panda complains as Daisaku struggles to try and get her free.

"Wow," the asian guy says, "those guys used a LOT of duct tape wrapping you up... And please, Miss Panda, ya gotta understand that guys like us without superpowers can't afford to follow every rule. If everyone tries to all the time, the bad guys are gonna take advantage. Uh... speaking of which, I'm afraid getting this junk off you might pull some of your clothes off, so maybe we should get you somewhere where you can soak in warm water and slip out of it?"

"Hmph..." The lithe kung-fu heroine pouts. "I don't have superpowers either, but I don't use it as some kind of excuse. And no! I'm not accepting any more help from you! The League of Propriety warned us that there are some illegal vigilantes running around the city! You're no different than any other honorless criminal!" She looks at you. "Lynn! If you're supposed to be my 'leader', help me out of this and don't let those perverts lay another hand on me!"

"Alright, hold your horses... Let me merge myself. I'll need my full strength. Hyup!" You leap at your clone counterpart, and once again, the two of you seamlessly merge into one. The extra pile of shredded ropes and bindings vanishes into nothingness as you do. "Now Panda, promise me y'ain't gonna go all chop-socky on these two fellers when I turn you loose, alright?"

"I will grant them forbearance for one night and one night only, so they can get a head start and leave the city I am protecting!"

"Arigato, Miss Panda." Daisaku says - his pronunciation of the foreign word colored by his sharp New York accent, sounding like 'Hairy-gat-toe'. Panda seems to really dislike that, and she shoots him a dirty look as you reach down and tear the bindings off her. "Ow! OW! Be careful, damn it!" she complains as the duct tape stings her skin.

Magik Knight comes up next to you and wraps her harm lasciviously around your waist, and does her best sultry pose, kicking one of her black thigh-high boots up behind her and directing you towards the two men. "Sooo, I do believe that we owe you a favor, our two... how do you say... 'Robins Hoods'? Hmhmhm~ It would be best if the Deathsmite girl did not know we escaped. You mentioned having somewhere we can recover and plan our next move?"

Daisaku's eyes widen and he blushes and puts a hand on the back of his neck. "Uh... well, sure, if you're gonna have more trouble with those villain scumbags, we could help out, but I'm not sure that's a great idea. I mean, Panda ain't wrong, what we do isn't exactly legal, and I'd hate to get you ladies in trouble with yer organizatio-OOF!"

Mike slaps him on the back so hard it almost knocks the wind out of him, and laughs gregariously. "Nonsense! There's an evil organization, right? Where would YOU be if I hadn't been looking out for you when you were finding your feet, kid? Here on the waterfront, there's only so much you can accomplish runnin' around in sexy spandex costumes. These girls are fighting for justice, too, and they could clearly use a hand. Not to mention maybe giving us a little bit of backup if Red Tattoo and his crew decide they want to do things the hard way. Maybe seeing some super-girls will make those dipshits do the smart thing and give up for once and I can save some money on ammo."

"Lynn! Don't you dare!" Panda is fiddling with her top, struggling to get her top to cover half of her tits instead of none of them.

Hands on your hips, you lean towards her and frown. "Simmer down, would you? You were the one who wanted to be on this team! Don't go barking orders now! And Magik Knight's has it right, we shouldn't advertise that we got loose! If these two fellas knew there was trouble this quickly, they might know more, and I dunno about you, but next time I meet Lady ****-shitkicker, I want to be on the other end of the ass-whooping! If you don't want to, just find your own place to lie low for a day or two. I'll send myself to catch up with you when we're ready to make our next move."

"But...!" Panda looks betrayed. "You can't just go hanging around with criminals, no matter what they have to say about 'justice'! And besides, I need you to go to the police and tell them I had the gun-runners at the docks well in hand and didn't need anybody to come rescue me, and you were just... speeding things along because you needed MY help with something else!"

Magik Knight rapidly teleports, appearing behind Panda and grabbing the lithe asian girl around her slender, toned waist with both hands, kissing her on the back of the neck, and making her squirm. "Then it sounds like you are stuck with us for now. Play along, and maybe I can, mmm, 'convince' Lynn to back up your story, which I am sure is honorable and truthful."

Wushu Panda's response is another muttered string of what you assume are Chinese swear words. You'll take that as a sign of assent.

"Great, great." Mike says, rubbing his hands together gleefully. "I'll pull the van around. Don't worry, it's got seats in the back. But there's no room up front, unless you guys want to ride in Daisaku's lap."

"Gah...!" the young guy protests. "No way! That's... uh, we need to keep it a secret, right? The back is fine."

....

Five minutes later, you and the two other heroines are sitting in the back of a van. Wushu Panda is looking with undisguised horror at the racks of guns on the walls. There are no less than three shotguns, half a dozen various handguns, and what can only be described as a whole 'family' of uzi machine-pistols: a big full-sized one, a smaller compact one, and a little baby one.

"Wow. Uh, it'd be a hell of a thing to go hunting with these two fellas, wouldn't it?" you ask nervously, trying to make small talk.

"Hmmmm..." Ilyana nibbles on her finger. "And yet, not one single Kalashnikov? I think their taste is a bit lacking. Perhaps I can show them where real quality 'bang bang' comes from?"

You cock an eyebrow at her as the van rocks and sways, taking a hard turn. "You sure love makin' them dirty puns, don't you, Ilyana? I'm surprised honestly. I thought that wasn't your type..."

"Hah!" Magik Knight edges closer to you on the seat and puts her hand on your knee, before you gently shove her away. "I knew it! All those threats you were growling at me earlier are just because you can't wait to get another taste of me. You're jealous, Lynn!"

"Am not!" you say, a blush rising again in your freckled cheeks as you remember the first 'taste' you got of Ilyana when she took advantage of you on the hotel bed. "But nevermind that! Ain't you gay? What happened to the wet pasta, or whatever you were talking about?"

Magik Knight rolls her sparking blue eyes. " Bozhe moi! You have such a black and white view of things, Lynn. Did you see those 'big guns' of his? And I don't mean the metal kind." she playfully puts her arms up and flexes her (non-existent) biceps. "I'm not THAT gay."

"Do you think about nothing but sex?" Wushu Panda wrinkles her nose cutely. "We're supposed to be fighters for justice!"

"Mmm, I think I can guess that one fight you haven't won yet is against virginity." Ilyana says with a smirk.

You might have expected Panda to be flustered by that remark, but on the contrary, she gives a proud huff. "Don't understimate me! That was part of the final obstacle I had to overcome for my sifu to recognize me as a worthy successor! I'm not afraid of sex or anything else!"

There's a silence. Magik Knight looks like she's struggling not to crack up laughing. Considering how much of a chip on her shoulder Wushu Panda has, you decide it wouldn't be wise to wonder aloud whether her teacher of martial arts had ulterior motives in deciding that Wushu Panda 'overcoming' her virginity was a necessary part of her training.

Instead, you deide to change the subject. "Now, I'm not gonna say you're wrong about Magik Knight, Panda. But just because I ain't jealous like she thinks doesn't mean I'm thinkin' of these vigilante guys like... like I wanna go on a date with one of them or something!"

"Ohhhh, aren't you lucky, Lynn?" Magik Knight says with a smirk, grabbing your hand again. "I think this may be the first time I've been jealous of someone else's superpower. I wondered how long it would take you to figure out that you're one of the few in the world who can go on two or more dates at once! I tried that a few months ago when I first got into costume, but one of them figured it out and told the other one after I kept pretending I needed to go to the bathroom every five minutes."

"For chrissakes, Ilyana! It ain't like that! I know that Mr. Macho up there was pullin' some flirty bullshit, but c'mon, they were gettin' in a shootout with armed mobsters that outnumbered them two to one! And unlike the three of us, they don't have no superpowers, or... acupuncture punching magic! And they mentioned some bad guy gang who's gunning for them. Flirting is fun and all, but let's keep our eye on the ball, girls. This is about finding out that white-haired bitch's weakness and how to beat her!"

Even over your own voice, you realize there's been some conversation in the front of the van. Over all the road noise, your fellow heroines can't hear it, but your hearing is another attribute of yours that is super-enhanced, just like your speed, strength and durability. "...and I'll prove it." you nod confidently. "Y'all hush up. I'm gonna listen in. I'll bet you a hundred bucks that they're talking about how we're gonna be their ace-in-the-hole to take out a big ol' **** smuggling ring or something!"

Panda and M.K. call your bluff, because they do indeed stop talking. You lean over and put your ear against the metal wall separating the interior of the van from the cab where Mike and Daisaku are.

.....

"I knew tailing that shitbag Matt Fitzgerald would pay off, but I didn't think it would pay off like THIS." Mike says with smug satisfaction. "This is gonna move things forward by months! Just looking at them, I can tell those aren't any ordinary superheroines, either." You hear the sound of lighter flicking. "You ready for this, kid?"

"Absolutely! One of the most wanted mercenary hitmen on the planet operating in Acropolis and the hero league can't do anything about it? Now I see what you mean when you were talkin' about getting me ready for the big time!" Daisaku says excitably. "I never thought I was gonna be mixed up in something like this! And I can't wait to see Red Tattoo's face when he sees what kind of backup we were able to get!"

"Ha ha haaa!" the man-mountain's laughter is so loud that surely Panda and Magik hear as well.

"Well sure, there's that." Mike says. "But more than that, Daisaku, we can finally get your virgin ass laid! "

...oh, goddamn it.