You learn the awful truth behind all those pregnant heroines (now that you are one)...

"Star! Star!" Sweat matting your red hair and running down your neck, you flag down the highest-ranking sidekick in the League, one of Maiden America's rotating male/female pair of sidekicks that she's had for almost a century now. You've changed out of your civvie clothes and are once again in your skimpy, enticing "Eager Beaver" costume, including your bionic beaver tail - there's much less chance you'll be ignored this way when you try to talk to someone important.

The young woman who turns to look at you is quite a sight - a hispanic girl in her early twenties, rather than the traditional curvy, feminine figure, Maiden America was trying to represent the new forward-thinkingness of the nation by choosing an olympic weight-lifter as her latest "Star", and this 'Star' has powerful biceps and thighs that look like they could crush a car between them (which they can, thanks to Maiden America's super-empowering aura). She's wearing a jacket and red-white-and-blue top hat reminiscent of the old Uncle Sam caricature.

But, her amazonian build doesn't stop her from being lusted after by the average citizen, and although that jacket may be less skimpy than the one-piece leotards or star-studded bikinis that previous "Star" sidekicks wore, she still has nothing but a thong covering her lower body, leaving those car-crushing tan thighs in display for everyone to see.

"Oh. Hi there!" the League's mightiest sidekick greets you. "Eager Beaver, right? Love the name. I have to admit, I'm bad with super-names, but yours is pretty easy to remember."

"Star," you say in a low, serious tone, "I need you to confirm something for me, just in case Whole Glory is omitting details for religious reasons or whatever, and I know that Maiden America takes is absolutely adamant about her sidekicks memorizing the most important laws of city, state and nation."

"Haha!" The tall young woman adjusts her top hat and chuckles. "Yep, that final civics test for becoming Maiden A's sidekick is pretty brutal. When I look at the youngest generation like my little brother, whose brain has been rotted by smartphone videos, I worry nobody is going to be able to replace me or Spangle in the future-"

"So," you say, holding up your hand, "city or state laws aside, abortion is legal at the national level, right?"

Star is visibly taken aback. The taller girl looks over her shoulder to see if anyone else is in the hallway. "I bet I know just who put you up to this." Star says. "I prefer women, okay? That thing with me and Mineshaft was just a one-off because he risked his life to help me out of some deep shit right when I'd been having a bit of a dry spell, and even though I was late that month and told a few people I was worried about it, I'm not late THIS month. Whether he's relieved or disappointed by that news, you can tell him not to get his hopes up that it's going to happen again, especially after he made a promise to 'pull out' that he couldn't kee-"

"I don't know who Mineshaft is and I don't care, please just answer the fricking question!" you say in a frazzled tone of voice.

"Oh. Ohh." Star looks your nubile body up and down and sighs. "Yes, it's legal. But... I'm guessing you asked the bureaucrats, huh? They probably didn't explain it right. You have a right to do whatever you want with your own body. That's what the supreme court says. But you don't have a right to be a registered hero. That's a special privilege. And... this League of Propriety is Maiden America's show, you understand? She wrote all the rules, and she's the only reason that the people of this country, or the international community for that matter, tolerate us. You know how conspiracy nuts have been saying that all the heroes are going to drop our good-guy act and take over the world any day now for, like, 60 years, right?"

Of course you know. Ever since you first got access to the internet, you got into countless arguments with idiots online claiming that all the superheroes were secretly evil, until eventually you realized what a waste of time arguing with strangers on the internet is. "So?? Maiden America should be enforcing the law of the land, right?"

"Yeah but she's also tied to the political system. There's been dozens of bills in congress and hearings and whatnot about the League is corrupting the culture or whatever. Locally, nationally, at every level there's always somebody trying to put more restrictions on all of us here in Acropolis. Do you know how much of a struggle it was to even get gay and lesbian heroes and heroines to be able to identify themselves openly, thirty years ago? Or how much backlash there was? Anyway, apparently THIS issue is a total red line for... uh, not naming any names or mentioning any parties, but, the 'political system'. So, if the League of Propriety is seen to endorse abortion, it would be all-out war, and the League might get declared illegal vigilantes."

Your mouth drops open, and Star cringes and holds her hand up. "I know, I know - I'm not saying I agree with it. But apparently, if a heroine gets that done for the sake of her career that'd be treated the same as the whole League endorsing it. Uh... shit. Beaver, you REALLY need to talk to someone else besides me about this. I can't keep any secrets from Amy. But you should go and talk to one of the more... pragmatic members of the League, like La Petite Mort, to get some off-the-record advice. I mean... have you heard that Canada is lovely this time of year? Shit, I've probably already said too much. Just make sure you review all your options before you get a test done at the medical department and make anything official."

By her expression, Star can see the sinking feeling permeating your body, and your chagrined expression.

"...Oh. Oh, look at the time! I've got to run! Lives to save! Good luck, Beaver!" Star tears off down the hallway, knocking down a couple of guys in her way.

"Frau Beaver." you hear a voice from the opposite direction and whirl around. It's Fast Hans, of course, with a glum expression on his face. "You've had quite a shock today. Before you do anything rash, I would suggest you go home for the day and sleep on it. There is a certain 'agency' attached to the League that I think you should speak to. There will always be a few bumps in the road, but there is no reason to give up on this new sidekick assignment program. You wouldn't want to give up on your dreams, let alone be the reason for other young women and men to give up on theirs, would you?"

But what you're most conspicuously noticing isn't Fast Hans's presence, but someone else's conspicuous absence. Throughout your life you've always been a push-over. Anyone could always talk you into anything. Friends, peers, family, and (especially) authority figures... you have spent your whole life doing nothing but trying to please them, and it's somehow never enough. But this is where you draw the line.

"No!" you stomp your foot and ball your fists. "I have a very important meeting to attend before I go home! And I think you know who with!"

You turn around and start marching down the hall in the direction of the stairs with determination. Hans lags behind for a bit then starts jogging after you. "No, no! Beaver! Miss Rachel! Not now! Maybe later, but absolutely NOT right now, you must believe me, this will not do any good...!"

All his words fall on deaf ears. When he gets close enough to put a hand on your shoulder, your bionic beaver tail expresses the irritation that your conscious mind wouldn't, and smacks him in the chest, sending him skidding across the floor.

You throw open the door you've come to. "Molly! I really need to talk to you about something! It can't wait!"

But rather than Mistress Wonderful, you're met with a boy who looks to be in his early teens, wearing a simple tee-shirt and jeans. "Um, hi? I think she'll be out in just a minute..."

Another, deeper voice comes from out of sight. "Who is it, Benny?" From around the corner of the well-furnished room steps a strikingly handsome blonde man wearing a shiny chrome bodysuit.

"It's one of the heroines, dad." 'Benny', the teenage boy, responds. "She says she needs to talk to mom."

...MOM?!