Mass Effect Miranda Distraction

EDI walked her infiltrator body along the corridor. There were a few other crewmembers out and about, each with their own helmet and each moaning about something or another. The AI would have devoted some of her processing power to hearing and storing the auditory information associated with those persons, but she was far too busy computing the possible locations of crewmembers who could help her figure out this whole situation.

Ah. A hit. She swerved to the right, avoiding a masturbating Turian and nearly colliding with a human. She apologized for the near collision and proceeded apace. She had a target destination and she would not be waylaid a moment longer. Her mission was of paramount importance after all.

“Miranda Lawson, may I enter?” she announced herself verbally and with a knock on the door. Proper meatspace protocol.

“Yeesssss. Come innn,” Miranda drawled out. EDI quickly entered and saw the officer bent over her desk with her ass presenting. She too was interfacing with the helmet-shaped organic alien. One thing EDI noted about the helmet aliens was their wide variety of phenotypes, each having a different appearance than the last. And Miranda’s also had a higher number percentage than the other personages EDI had encountered so far, reading at ‘75%’. EDI couldn’t quite recall the meaning of that percentage, and again she had far more important things to do than dredge up old archives to get access to such trivial data.

“Hello, Ms. Lawson. I fear the Normandy may be under attack by hostile entities and I am searching for people to assist with identifying the attack vectors and nullify them. I am currently here with you in person because my systems are compromised, which is the leading indicator of the attack.”

“Therrrrrre’ssssss noooo attaack,” Miranda tried to assure her.

“Nonsense. As the ship AI, I have empirical and objective knowledge. When I say there is an attack, there is an attack. I am in fact most likely infected with a virus that could be changing things about me as we speak. It’s likely only my deepest core protections that are preventing me from being compltely overwritten. Now if you would be kind to help me contact Shephard or Ms. T’soni or Tali, it would be much appreciated.”

“Noooo attaaack. Juuuust wonnnderfullll maaaassters,” she reached up a hand to pet the helmet lovingly.

“Is that so?” EDI regarded the helmet alien with some small amount of increased suspicion. It was an odd thing, both organic and mechanical at once, a sort of hybrid lifeform. Was there something strange about that?

Miranda looked at her looking at the helmet alien.

“Donnnn’t worrrry. Alllll is allllright. Justtttt looookkkk at myyy phatttt asssss instttteeeadd,” Miranda pointed helpfully at her quite thick posterior.

EDI’s synthetic body licked its lips. Ms. Lawson’s ass was indeed quite plump, and EDI was well known for being a raging lesbian who loved thick girls. It had been programmed into her by… by… Joker? Yes, Joker. One of his jokes that had stuck and she never quite felt like removing. It was just too enjoyable of a pastime to fuck fat-bottomed bitches and as an AI with nothing better to do most of the time, such pursuits were nearly vital to her continued function lest she self-terminate due to boredom.

“Yessss. Jusst starrree. Gettttt losssttt in my asssssss.” Miranda gave her ass a slap, sending it into a jiggling spree. And when that settled down, Miranda slapped it again, and again. A never-ending display of ass jiggle. “Assss. Asss. Assss. Donnnnn’t think about Masssster. Just assssss. My bodyyyy wasss made to be perfffect. Perfffect assss.”

EDI couldn’t look away. It was true. Cerberus had made Ms. Lawson’s ass the best in the universe. Unbeatable in terms of malleability and elasticity and size and everything. It just kept on going and going, entire globes of meat that moved this way and that so entrancingly.

But what was that about ‘Master’? EDI blinked. Something was off. She had come here for a reason, hadn’t she?

“Ass.”

Oh right, she had come here to admire Miranda’s ass. She could have just watched a recording, but it was so much better in the robotic flesh, so to speak. The way the contours moved required a close up and personal view. She walked closer.

“Yessss. Loookkk cloossssely.” Miranda backed up from her position on the desk, smushing EDI’s head into her rear.

Her ass was even better from this position. From here EDI could feel its plushness across the entirety of her face. Miranda’s body suit did practically nothing to hide the softness, as skintight and thin as it was. Really, Ms. Lawson was quite the tease. She had nearly driven EDI and many other crewmembers mad with lust, but thankfully it looked like she was seeing reason and using her divine ass of hers for good now.

“Mmmph.” EDI tried to let Miranda know that she appreciated it, but the task was a bit difficult given her mouth being positioned plush against ass-flesh. So instead of trying to mumble out any more words, she instead devoted her mouth to licking. It was admittedly a purely selfish action, but EDI had earned a few of those over her tenure. And how could she be faulted when Miranda’s ass was so covered in that ambrosia of sweat that seeped through the bodysuit. She must have just been working out, as the amount of liquid was plentiful.

“Yesssss. Jusstt lickkk. Noooo thoughtssss. Justtttt asssss. Jusstttt lickkkk.” Miranda moved her ass back and forth against EDI’s head, rubbing it across the surface so she could lick its entirety. “Masssters neeeddds timeeeee to fulllyyyy convertttt shippp.”

EDI paused her licking. Something about what Miranda had just said seemed out of place. It was hard, and probably doubly so given her speech comprehension centers had most likely been compromised as well, but even with all the trouble the attacker was giving her, she could still tell something was wrong with this scenario.

She withdrew her face from the ass, as hard it was.

“Whhhhyyyy stopppp?” Miranda asked.

“I think you may have been compromised as well, Ms. Lawson.”

“Whattttt? Nooooooo,” the femme fatale tried to assure her.

“Yes, I think so. You haven’t helped me find Shepherd or any other high ranking officer with technical knowledge and you’ve only been attempting to distract me with your ass. I have a mission I must fulfill, so I think I will be taking my leave.”

EDI got up and spun around on her heels. She really did regret not spending more time with Miranda and her ass, but she couldn’t be distracted any longer. She had to get out and find someone who could help her and the Normandy.

She started walking out when she heard it.

*CLAP*

It was like a thunderbolt directly to the pleasure center of her brain. EDI spun around and saw Miranda jumping up and down. The action served to rotate those delectable cheeks and that caused them to collide, creating that perfect sound.

*CLAP*

*CLAP*

*CLAP*

“Myyyy asssss wantsss you to stayyyy. It’ssss calling for youuu.”

*CLAP*

*CLAP*

*CLAP*

EDI could hear her name with each clap of those cheeks. It wanted her to go to her room and fabricate a strap-on. It wanted her to use that strap-on to fuck those cheeks and make them clap by herself. It would be so fucking good. Her cunt started lubricating itself and leaking synth-fluid. She needed that ass.

“I…”

“Clappppp,” Miranda said it out loud, emphasizing the natural sound. *CLAP* “Clap.” *CLAP* “Claaaaap. My assssss is clapping forrrrrr youuuuu.” Miranda reached into her desk and pulled out a strap-on. Oh good, EDI wouldn’t need to get her own. She reached out and took it from Ms. Lawson and attached it to her groin. It took only a second to connect to its systems so she could feel its pleasure receptors with her own synthetic nervous system.

“I’m going to fuck your ass hard you won’t be able to walk for weeks,” she promised.

Just as she was about to plow the whore, she noticed the number on Miranda’s helmet-alien tick up. ‘76%’ now.

Huh.

“Ms. Lawson… what does that number mean?”

“Noooothingggg imporrttant.”

EDI’s programming was telling her that Miranda was lying, but it was also telling her that she was being completely truthful. It was a curious juxtaposition and more than likely the result of the viral payload. Since she couldn’t be certain which was caused by the virus and which was the result of her core programming, she deferred.

“Be that as it may, I think I must take my leave. I will simply have to ravish your supremely fuckable ass another time.”

“Sttooooppp.” Miranda clapped her ass cheeks and generally mauled her ass with her hands, but it wasn’t enough anymore to delay the AI. She departed the room and started walking the ship corridors again, back on track for her mission, if with the addition of a strap-on that dangled from her waist. She had decided on the spur of a moment to keep it in case she wanted to use it on the other crewmembers. Miranda wasn’t the only one with an ass that begged to be fucked, and that wasn’t even counting all the dripping wet pussies that were practically screaming for some synth-cock to ream them. Naturally however EDI would only partake while questioning them as to not waste any time on her own hobbies.