A Sudden Phone Call

The sound of a ringing cell phone interrupted my panic attack. For the first time, I realized that Biff was carrying a sleek, colorful cell phone on his belt. The phone had a blinking red light that was flashing to the beat of the phone's ring. Biff made a show of answering the phone.

"Biff Brewster," he said.

Everyone watched breathlessly as Biff listened, then nodded. Finally, he turned and looked at me.

"This is Mister Big. He is the ultimate authority on Bimbomania!" said Biff. The audience gave an awed clap.

Biff continued. "Mister Big is aware of your plight, Erica. And he is offering a deal of sorts.

A deal?

"Mister Big said you may have your lips numbed for the next event if you agree to have your eyebrows shaped and neuromuscularly repositioned into a higher arch."

The crowd began to buzz while I mulled over the offer. My lips were already tingling and, although I had full control of myself, I wasn't happy about trying to walk through that long hallway with my lips feeling like a hotbed of temptation. However, my eyebrows would be enhanced, making me look like a perpetually surprised ditz. A rock and a hard place. Dammit.

"Well, Erica?" said Biff.