Jennifer's presentation

"Hello, everyone," says a very nervous-looking Jennifer. "You may be wondering what you're all doing here."

The students nudge each other and whisper. There's a lot of them. Pretty much the entire school, in fact. Jennifer's standing on stage in the academy's largest lecture theatre, the one reserved for visiting scholars and special occasions. And she's wearing the tiniest tightest little ballerina costume you could find, one riding so far up her butt that it's practically invisible. It would be strange if she didn't look nervous.

She bites her lip, looking out at the giggling crowd. You give her a thumbs up. Of course, you're still in the WAR room, so she can't see it, but it's the thought that counts.

"I have a very special presentation for you all today," she mutters, trying to avoid meeting anyone's gaze. Her old mentor, Professor Lovegood, is sitting in the front row, looking absolutely fascinated. "I know there's been a lot of changes in the academy lately. But, as a teacher here, I think it's my responsibility to remind you all of what's really important."

There's a click, and the screen above her head displays an image. It's an image she remembers well. The cover of one of Raider's big coffee table books, showing her desperately trying to pull a locked door open while wearing nothing but her headgear and glasses.

Laughter ripples through the lecture hall. Jennifer winces, feeling heat bloom in her cheeks. There she is, caught in full colour and high definition, in all her naked glory.

"I know the Hooded Eye pretend to have a lot of dignity," she says, her voice echoing through the hall. "But really, deep down, us girls all know we're nothing but Raider's toys. And we need to be reminded of that from time to time. Especially the girls in WAR. Which is why..."

She grits her teeth.

"Why I'm now going to present the whole school with a two-hour slideshow of WAR's most embarrassing moments. And every time I change slides, my outfit is going to get a little bit smaller."