My balls hit a log

Today I do my hair in a top down ponytail. I pu on heavy eyeshadow and eyeliner and red lipstick. I decide to do today's scene in the nude.

I'm gonna leap from the back deck imitating a frog and land with my legs spread on a log, basically smashing my testicles on the log when I land. Zoe is standing outside waiting to record. We have a log laying across two saw horses.

I get in position for my leap and Zoe yells action. I leap into the air with my legs spread. I can see the log between my legs as I come down. I can feel my testicles squash between the log and my pelvis." AAARHGH My nUutTSssS!!"

The pain in my nads is unbearable. I feel like I'm going to pass out. My eyes open real wide at first then I close them tightly.I fall off the log onto my right side." Ooww aAh ooo." I start coughing. I try getting on all fours but can't. I'm on the ground for at least an hour before I can walk and only with help from Zoe.

She's able to get me in my bed. Then we watch the replay and thankfully we get it right the first time. She looks at me." Steve-O eat your heart out." Tomorrow will be be the hardest and possibly the most painful. Tomorrow I slide down the rail.