Batgirl Causes a Commotion

The next morning, Barbara Gordon was heading into her father's office. Last night as Batgirl, she'd had a fairly uneventful evening of stopping a few muggers, and had found new zero leads on the recent robberies. Barbara couldn't shake the feeling that Robin had been the man she'd fought in the jewelry store, though it felt wrong to suspect her friend and fellow crime fighter of robbery. However, Batman and Robin were nowhere to be found, so she couldn't even question them.

"Maybe daddy knows where Batman and Robin have been," she thought, and as she entered the room, her question was answered. Batman, Robin, and her father were all in the commissioner's office, with an older, but glamorous looking blonde woman.

"So you see Commissioner," Batman was saying, "Minerva is completely innocent. One of her staff simply took advantage of her trusting and caring nature in order to gain access to her client list, and he was behind the robberies. Robin and I will be able to apprehend him as soon as he comes in for his spa shift."

"Well done, Dynamic Duo, as always," said the Commissioner. "Minerva my dear, my sincere apologies for inconveniencing you today."

Minerva smiled. "Not at all, not at all!" she purred, her thick Hungarian accent sent shivers down Gordon's spine. "Commissioner, vhy don't you come to ze spa now, I could give you a Eggplant Jelly Vitamin Scalp Massage, on ze house, to sank you for all your hard vork."

"Thank you Minerva, I believe I'll take you up on that. Batman and Robin both highly recommended it, after all!"

He took Minerva's arm, and began walking her to the door, when he noticed Barbara.

"Ah, Minerva, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Barbara."

Minerva gave Barbara a cold smile. "Hello…. Goodbye!"

Before she could leave, Barbara stopped her.

"Pardon me Minerva, you said it was one of your staff behind the robberies? How did he manage to find the secret hiding places of all those valuables, when they were known only to the victims themselves? Was he acting alone, or did he have help? Was he…"

Minerva cut her off. "So many questions dahling, but I really don't know. Come, Commissioner."

Gordon gave Barbara a sympathetic smile as he walked out the door with Minerva.

Barbara walked over to Batman and Robin. "So that was the fabulous Minerva…"

Batman and Robin both smiled.

"She is indeed fabulous, Miss Gordon, and a fine, upstanding citizen."

Barbara raised an eyebrow. "Are you really sure about that, Batman? I mean, it seems kind of fishy that just one of her staff could pull of those robberies by themselves. How can you be sure Minerva's not involved?"

"Miss Gordon, I would advise you not to slander the name of a good, beautiful woman like Minerva. Robin and I know for a fact she's innocent, and we'll be catching the true criminal soon, and all your questions will be answered."

"Sounds like Batman has a crush," Barbara thought to herself. "Time to find out a little more."

"Speaking of the true criminal, Daddy told me that Batgirl had a run in with a jewel thief the other night, someone in a red hood got away with thousands of dollars worth of merchandise. Do you think it's connected?"

"Possibly," said Batman. "Now if you'll excuse us…"

Barbara pressed as they were about to leave. "They must have got a really lucky shot in to take out Batgirl, nobody fights as good as her. Well, except for you two. Where were you that night, anyway? Batgirl could've used your help!"

Robin seemed agitated.

"It so happens I was on a date, with Minerva." he answered curtly.

"Minerva? Robin, I didn't know you were… into older women." Barbara couldn't believe how obvious his lie was. She also couldn't believe her suspicions might be accurate. It was Robin she fought that night!

"No need to be jealous, Barbara. Minerva may be more experienced than me, but she's still the most beautiful woman I've ever met." Robin said dreamily.

With that, the Dynamic Duo left Barbara alone in her father's office.

"This is too weird," Barbara thought. "Batman and Robin slobbering all over Minerva, Robin committing crimes… something's up with Minerva's spa, and I'd better find out what!

***

Meanwhile, Minerva was finishing up Commissioner Gordon's Eggplant Jelly Vitamin Scalp Massage, and was about to start his special treatment.

"Although zere's barely any need, zis pathetic old man is already eating out of my hand even without ze brainwashing machine." Minerva thought. It was true, Gordon seemed rather smitten with Minerva. However, she needed to be sure he wouldn't hinder her criminal activities, so she lowered the hairdryer onto his head and hit the switch on her machine.

Gordon's eyes bulged, and he began to convulse under the machine's power.

"Can you hear me, Commissioner?"

"Yes Minerva."

"Good. You are going to do exactly as I say, and believe everysing I tell you."

"Yes, Minerva."

"You vill never suspect me of any crime. In fact, if any officer presents any evidence of crime zat points to me, you vill fire zem on ze spot."

"Yes, Minerva."

"Your only purpose is to keep me out of jail, and help me commit crimes. You find me so sexy, you just vant to do anysing to please me, don't you?"

"Yes, Minerva."

"Good." She switched off the machine.

"How do you feel, dahling?"

Gordon looked up at her from the chair.

"Merrrvaaa," he moaned.

"Vhat vas zat, dahling?" Minerva asked.

"MERRRVAAA" Gordon lunged at Minerva, and began groping at her, trying to kiss her.

"AAAAH! Get avay from me!" Minerva screeched, struggling to keep Gordon off of her. "Atlas, Adonis, HELP ME!" she screamed, as Gordon started dry humping against her leg.

Minerva's henchmen came into the room, and pulled the older man off Minerva.

"What's going on Minerva?" asked Atlas.

"Ze machine must have fried his brain!" cried Minerva. "I knew zere was a risk, but it vorked so vell on Batman and Robin… It just turned him into a horny old creep!"

"Merrrvaaa!" moaned the Commissioner, staring at Minerva and drooling.

"Shut up! Boys, put him in ze perfumed pressurizer, and turn up ze heat! I vant zis old pervert gone, permanently!"

"If you say so, Minerva,'' said Atlas, as Minerva stormed out of the room. The two henchman dragged the brain fried Commissioner to the pressurizer room, and placed him in a large metal machine, with a clear dome.

"Minerva wants him gone, so let's turn up the heat!" said Adonis, as he cranked some knobs on the machine. A thermometer on the pressurizer slowly raised.

Suddenly, a voice called out. "Oh, you like it hot, boys? Then you're going to love me!"

The henchman turned to see Batgirl, standing in front of an open window. She looked gorgeous in her skintight purple suit, and the henchman took note.

"Oh, you're hot alright, Batgirl," said Adonis. "We're going to have some fun, once we teach you some manners!"

They advanced on Batgirl, who easily subdued Atlas with a quick roundhouse kick to the chin, knocking him out instantly. Adonis took a swing at her, Batgirl dodged under his blow and grapes his wrist. With a deft movement, Batgirl spun and twisted his arm, sending Adonis spinning to the ground.

Batgirl quickly ran to the machine and switched it off, just as Adonis was recovering to his feet. Batgirl turned, took a couple running steps, and leapt knees first onto Adonis's face, knocking him back to the floor. Batgirl landed on top of him and quickly placed her boot on his neck.

"Now, you're going to tell me everything that's going on in this spa, aren't you?"

Adonis struggled, trying to push Batgirl's boot off his neck. She pressed a little harder.

"Now now, it's best not to struggle. Tell me, how is Minerva committing these robberies?"

Adonis ended up spilling his guts, he told Batgirl all about Minerva's machine, how she'd gotten the millionaire's secrets, how she'd brainwashed Batman and Robin, and how she'd accidentally fried the Commissioner's brain.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" Batgirl said. "Now, take a nap baby!" She punched Adonis right between the eyes, knocking him out.

Her mind was racing as she helped her father out of the machine. Her suspicions were confirmed, Minerva was behind everything, and now she had Batman and Robin working for her!

"Merrrvaaa!" moaned Gordon.

"Oh dad- er, Commissioner, what are we going to do with you? Without Batman and Robin, how can I possibly get you back to your old self?" Batgirl said.

She thought to herself for a moment, then smiled.

"If I want Batman and Robin back on my side, perhaps I need to do a little brainwashing of my own!"