GB96 - Weird

You took your best friend’s virginity. There is no way around it. You have to face that fact head-on and accept it. It’s weird no matter what, so maybe the least weird way to frame it is to laugh it off and call it being a good friend. You hope you can make that work.

Doing it was weird, but it was hot enough that the weirdness could take a backseat to more urgent things. In the morning, there is nothing to alleviate the weirdness. You don’t know which is worse: that somewhere during the night you became the little spoon, or that you can feel Stef’s morning wood pressing against your backside, or that you are also achingly hard.

The only way to survive this situation is to sneak out of bed without waking her. Fortunately, Stef is a heavy sleeper. Unfortunately, as you stand by the door, looking back at her in your bed, she’s also very cute like this.

You cannot think about Stef, of all people, this way.

You leave the bedroom, and you make enough noise moving around the house and taking a shower to make sure that she wakes up.

Stef does her best to be normal and casual, but even your mom notices how quickly she flees the house instead of sticking around for breakfast.

“She has to shower and stuff before school, Mom. Relax,” you say.

“She used to eat more than both of us together,” your mom counters. She’s such a mom. She’s more worried about Stef acting weird than about you almost getting hit with a skateboard yesterday. “And you,” she says, reading your mind. “I want you to have a plan for a job hunt by the time you come home today.”

“OK,” you agree. It’s too early to argue.

A job, huh? Man. You’re about to graduate high school. It’s so much easier to think about girls than it is to think about your future.

You see Stef’s car at school, but you don’t see her. Is she embarrassed? She should be. No, that’s not true. You’re the one who fucked that up. Sex worked for taking her mind off Mary, but… not without fallout.

Ellen ambushes you before you can walk into class. Well, she doesn’t ambush you. She’s just leaning against the door, waiting in her torn jeans and Nirvana sweatshirt. Her hair’s back in that totally unflattering ponytail. She’s not beautiful, but she could be cute if she wanted to. Not your problem. She’s tense.

“Hey,” you say. You were mad at her yesterday, but what happened is not her fault. You should probably apologize.

“Here,” she says, holding up some money.

You’re surprised. And yeah, you did say that yesterday: that you would make her pay. But now that you see the crumpled twenties in her hand and her miserable expression, you can’t even stomach the thought of taking the money. If you cringe any harder, you’ll literally die. You haven’t forgotten what Ellen told you. She didn’t give details, but your imagination can fill in the blanks. You doubt that anything horrible happened, but it’s awful how those guys treated her. She probably thought they were her friends, then she had to find out that they just wanted to get their dicks wet. That was bad enough even without what happened yesterday. Ellen is down. Taking her money now would be like kicking her.

You sigh. “It’s…” You don’t even know what to say. You push the money back toward her. “It wasn’t your fault. You don’t have to pay me. It’s fine.”

“Please,” she says.

You shake your head. “I can’t. OK? I’m not a fucking monster. I wouldn’t take that from my friend, so I’m not gonna take it from you.”

You start to push past her, but she grabs you. OK, surprise hug. Shocked, you awkwardly, hug her back. She sniffles quietly. Oh, man… yeah. She’s in rough shape.

“It’s OK,” you tell her, rubbing her back.

You go looking for Stef at lunch, but you don’t find her. You find out that she’s in lunch detention. God. What did she do?

You don’t go looking for her after school; maybe she needs space. Maybe she’s mad at you for making things weird. She was pretty stoked when you were doing it, but maybe she has different feelings about it now that it’s in the rearview mirror. Maybe she’s avoiding you.

Doesn’t matter. You have to get tutoring anyway.

Kris is a calm and reassuring presence. Knowing that she used to be in CCL makes you feel much more relaxed around her. She’s wearing a sleeveless top today, and she looks incredibly hot. You have never noticed an older woman the way that you notice her. Lily doesn’t count; she’s like two years older than you.

“You look beautiful today, as always,” you say airily as you join her at the table where the books are.

She takes that in gracefully. “What do we need to work on today?” she asks.

“Finding me a job. I just moved here. Any thoughts?”

“Hmm. You mean something that would be a good fit for you?” She looks thoughtful. “You have the heart of a CCL girl. CCL usually needs help with cleaning the place or cooking. I don’t know if they have anyone now, but it’s worth an ask if you can do those things. Can you cook?”

“Mexican,” you say.

“They’d love that,” Kris says, still thinking. “Or, I guess if you want to look at girls in swimsuits all day you could work at the pool. They always need lifeguards this time of year.”

“I feel like you think that all I think about is girls,” you say as Kris lifts the science book off the stack.

“Do you not?” she asks.

“All I think about is you,” you say.

She bonks you in the face with the book.

Right. Studying. But… those are good suggestions that she gave you.

Where should you ask about employment?

CCL? Or the pool?