Cut My Hair and Changed My Face

Three Days Earlier

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Lindsey asked.

They stood outside the salon, in the narrow, cobblestone streets that made up the village proper. It was a beautiful town, in truth, though its total lack of inhabitants gave it the feel of a movie facade.

“I’m absolutely sure,” Ryan said, nodding firmly.

Her mother’s words had repeated in her mind, like a dagger being shoved in and out.

”I love you with all my heart…but you’re a quitter.”

Yeah, she was sure alright. She was determined to kill off her old, fuck up self once and for all. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more determined she got. Determined, and excited.

Lindsey seemed to be going through the opposite process.

“Look…it’s fun to talk about doing this, but I don’t wanna be responsible for…I dunno, erasing you or whatever.”

Exe responded for her..

“You’re paying for whatever she’s doing, right?” She asked. “You can’t really be responsible if she’s choosing it for herself.”

Megan watched from the side, her eyes darting between the other girls like nervous creatures. They’d met the other pair while poking around the eerily unoccupied buildings, each manned only by automated kiosks that took their orders on everything from clothes to food to, they hoped, wholesale transformations.

“I guess,” Lindsey said, taking a deep breath. “I just feel weird fucking with your head, is all. I’m finally starting to like you.”

Ryan gave her a tired smile.

“If I don’t do it, they’ll do it for me.” She said, motioning back to the salon behind her. “Come on. We won’t even know what’s possible until we get in there and poke around.”

Ten Minutes Later

Lindsey’s face was pale as the pair stumbled back out into the sun, and Ryan felt like she was going to throw up.

“That went fast!” Megan said, hopping off a bench to her feet. “What’d you guys end up doing?”

Exe took one look at them and seemed to figure it out on her own.

“I don’t think they did anything,” She said, crossing her arms.

Megan’s face fell as she really took their expressions in.

“I..oh..” She said, “What happened? Were the options they had bad ones?”

In lieu of answering, Ryan slumped back against the wall, lowering herself down to the street to place her head against her knees. Given her curvy new hips and the short dress she’d borrowed from Lindsey, she was probably putting on a hell of a show. But that thought was far from her mind.

“No. The options were great,” Ryan heard Lindsey say. “Some of them were like, exactly what she needs.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Exe asked.

“Prices,” Lindsey answered. “They’re all crazy expensive. Like, way way more than what I have to get even one of them.”

That they were. Disconcerting as the layout of the place was, a series of reclining salon chairs with glass helmets, what had made the bottom drop out of the stomach was the information on the kiosks. Even flush with points as Lindsey was, the changes she needed were simply too high.

“I suppose that stands to reason,” Megan said. “If we could all just remake ourselves on a whim, the consequences of the show are muted, somewhat.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t do him a lot of favors,” Exe said.

“What if we pooled our resources?” Megan asked. “I’m sure we could get something, right?”

Ryan shut out the conversation, turning the problem over in her mind. Underwater by 10 points already, she not only had to dig herself out, but do it while coping with a body that still felt completely alien. With a feminine identity she hadn’t, and didn’t know how to tailor. With her best friend looking at her as a man in a woman’s body. Herself looking at her that way.

Could she really let it end like this?

She looked up as she felt Lindsey settle in beside her, placing an arm over her shoulder.

“Hey, don’t cry or anything,” She said. “It was worth a shot, but we’ve got plenty of options. We can get you clothes and a makeover and shit still.”

Ryan shook her head.

“It’s not the same,” Ryan said. “You saw what some of those perks could do. Mannerisms, familiarity, even stuff that could affect Jake. I need those perks.”

“You don’t!” Lindsey insisted. “We just need to get you a new paintjob and you’ll be as good as new!”

“No. She won’t,” Exe said, casually.

“Exe!” Megan gasped, a delicate hand covering her mouth.

Lindsey showed even less restraint, bolting to her feet before inserting herself in Exe’s face. She already had a few inches on the streamer, but as she drew herself up like a viper, she nearly towered over her.

“You are such a fucking bitch,” Lindsey said, raising a finger back toward Ryan. “She is over here fighting for her life, and you’re not doing anything but tearing her down. Don’t think I don’t know you’re the one who did it to her in the first place, anyway.”

“Lindsey…” Ryan said, “It’s fine…”

Exe met Lindsey’s gaze, unflinching.

“All I meant is that nobody’s born knowing how to be a woman. How to do a bra, or makeup, or good fashion or any of it,” Exe said.

She pointed at Megan.

“The only reason the two of us are even here is so I could teach her some of this stuff. And Ryan wasn’t even born like this,” Exe continued. “All I’m trying to say is that asking Ryan to go be something he’s not isn’t fair. If you just give her a makeover, you’re setting her up for failure.”

Ryan couldn’t help but notice the way she confused her gender. Whether intentional or not, it was illustrative of her point.

Lindsey seemed to deflate a bit, and some of the tension between the girls went out of the air. At least Ryan didn’t have to worry about Lindsey starting a fight on her behalf.

“Look, I’m sorry I got all up in your face and shit,” Lindsey said with a sigh, “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Exe scoffed.

“Whatever. You’ve made up your mind on me like everyone else has,” She said, waving a hand. “But this isn’t about us. We’re talking about Ryan.”

Ryan looked up at the two. Insomuch as she admired Farra, a lesson she’d learned from her father was that sometimes, listening was more profitable than talking. Now, as she turned over her own options, this seemed like one of those moments.

“Right, and that’s the thing,” Lindsey said, growing insistent again. “You’re going on about how she’s just screwed, but the whole point of all of this is to give her a fighting chance.”

“I didn’t say she was screwed,” Exe said. “Just screwed if she tries to fake her way through it.”

Ryan chose that moment to speak up.

“What do you think I should do, then?” She genuinely asked. “If I can’t fake it, and I can’t make it, what’s the alternative?”

Exe’s answer was simple.

“Leah. Go to her to plead your case.”

Lindsey gave a derisive snort.

“That bitch? She’s the whole reason we have to figure all this shit out in the first place.”

But Ryan was standing up, excitement rising.

“Oh my god! You’re right!” She said, “She was really cold earlier, but think about why.”

She felt almost giddy; like she’d found the missing piece of a puzzle.

“Guys, I’m sorry to drag you all the way out here, but I need to go back to the hotel,” Ryan said. “We’ve gotta find Leah.”

One Hour Later

Whatever else could be said for, and both the contestants as a whole and Ryan in particular could say quite a lot, Leah was an expeditious sort of woman. As the four took the train from the village back to the hotel, they’d called her to secure a meeting, and she was waiting for them outside the station upon their arrival.

“Quite the party you’ve put together,” Leah said, observing the four as they stepped out into the sun.

“We were shopping for makeovers!” Megan said, excitedly, then steadied herself when she saw that nobody shared her enthusiasm. “Or, we tried to anyway. Honestly, whether we get around to them or not, it’s nice to be included in that kind of thing…”

“I was going to buy some stuff for Ryan, but it was a bit out of our price range. We were hoping you could help,” Lindsey said, bringing the conversation around to the point.

Or at least, she tried to.

“What?” Leah asked, looking confused.

“Ugh! So annoying!” Lindsey whined.

She strolled up to Leah, who tried to pull away before Lindsey gave her a big, open mouthed kiss on her lips.

“Sorry, it’s a whole bonus change thingy,” She explained once she’d released Leah. “Look, we came to you to get Ryan some help because we can’t afford the stuff she needs.”

Leah crossed her arms, looking cross.

“Help how?” She asked. “If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. The game’s design is the game’s design.”

“Bullshit!” Lindsey spat. “You’re the host! Can’t you like, adjust prices or whatever?”

“Not happening,” Leah said, “Sorry you came all this way, but I won’t upset the balance and I won’t do any one player a personal favor.”

“Pardon, but wouldn’t the fact that one of the players cheated be considered an upset to the balance?” Megan asked.

“Did they cheat, or did they play smart?” Leah asked with a shrug. “That’s ultimately for the audience to decide.”

Ryan ignored them. The dagger was sliding in again.

You’re a quitter, Ryan.

She stepped forward, anger and excitement welling. All the years of failure, of half-hearted attempts at life and settling for less burned in her conscience. This was her moment to right them; to tear the monkey of surrender off her back, and put a stake in its heart.

“It's bullshit,” She said. “Remember what you told me in the Round 1 wrap up? That I should have come to you when I got screwed? That you would have helped me? The rules said three shots were all you’d give me, but that you could have made an exception.”

Leah put one hand on her hip, and pointed the other at Ryan’s face.

“You could have, but you didn’t. That window closed when you-”

“No!” Ryan interrupted, injecting just enough edge in her voice to take the hostess.

She copied Lindsey’s posture, drawing herself up slightly on the balls of her feet.

“You vetoed my changes. The voters gave me a second chance. They wanted to give me a new look, and personality, and mannerisms and all that shit, and you said no,” Ryan said.

She let her posture relax.

“And you know what? You were right.”

Ryan had to suppress a grin as Leah blinked at her. She hadn’t just caught her off balance; she now seemed totally flat footed.

“Really?” Leah asked.

“Yes,” Ryan said, lifting her chin. “And all I’m asking now is that you give me that chance.”

Leah suddenly seemed unsure of herself.

“What are you proposing exactly?”

“You told me…challenged me to build my own identity. Fair enough. I accept,” Ryan said. “But I can’t pull bricks out of my ass. I need clay to make them with. And as kind as it was of her to offer, Lindsey shouldn’t have to pay for it either.”

“And why should I simply give that to you?” Leah said. “I gave you that challenge because you’d given up on the one assigned to you. I granted you one stay of execution already. Why do you deserve a second?”

“No. I was robbed on that challenge. I had an idea and everything for it,” Ryan said.

A flawed idea, and truthfully one she was glad she’d not gone through with. But it was a point worth emphasizing all the same.

“You said you’d have helped me if I came to you after I got sabotaged,” She said. “Well, I’m doing that now. If you were willing to bend the rules for me then, we’re just negotiating on timing.”

“I suppose you have a point,” Leah allowed, to Ryan’s immense relief. “But I do have a show to run and…people to answer to. What precisely are you asking for?”

For a brief time, in her old life, Ryan had been a salesperson in a job that Jake had hooked him up with. It had been hard work, and he’d burned out if it, just like he always had. But unlike most of the jobs he’d held in his procession of failures, before he’d given into his father’s wishes and taken the store management gig, Ryan had actually been fairly good at it.

She drew on that experience now. It was time to roll the dice.

“I want four vouchers,” She said. “One for my body, one for my brain, one for my style, and one for my history.”

It took a deal of effort to appear disappointed rather than smug when the hostess gave her answers.

“Two vouchers,” She countered. “One for your physical changes, and one for any mental modifications you wish to make. I’m not giving you the free ride of a whole new life, and if you want clothes and makeup, you can bloody well buy them yourself.”

It was exactly what Ryan had wanted. She didn’t even want a full rewrite anymore, and the rest was pretty cheap anyway. The demand for four vouchers was a smokescreen; a starting point to negotiate down to what she wanted.

Mom would be proud, She thought.

Still, she made a show of feigning consternation.

“Alright. Fine,” She said in mock resignation.

Then Leah turned the tables.

“And I won’t grant them unconditionally, either,” She said. “There will be strings attached.”

“Oh?” Ryan asked. “What do you have in mind?”

“Only that you produce results,” She said. “I’m sticking my neck out for you by doing this, so I bloody well better get some good television out of it.”

“Okay. What do you have in mind?” Ryan asked.

“Only that your continued survival be contingent on the success of your makeover,” Leah said. “In addition to the victory point hole you have to dig yourself out of, you now need to place at least middle of the pack in the popularity poll.”

Well, no harm there, Ryan thought. Probably needed that to survive the round anyway.

“I’ll give it my best,” She said, knowing another shoe was about to drop.

“My other requirement is that you make physical progress with Jake,” Leah said. “Something must happen between you two before this round concludes.”

Ryan felt sick to her stomach.

“What does that mean?” She asked.

Leah pondered for a moment.

“You need to get one willing kiss out of him, bare minimum,” She said. “And you can’t tell him you have to do it or the deal is off.”

“What’s ‘the deal’, anyway?” Lindsey said. “I think we kinda need to know what she stands to lose.”

“We?” Leah questioned.

“Yeah. We!” Lindsey echoed, “Me and my friend.”

Leah regarded her for a moment, shrugged, and turned her attention back to Ryan.

“If you take my deal, take my handout and fail to meet my conditions, you’re off the show regardless of how many victory points you can string together,” She said.

“Well that’s a shitty deal,” Exe mused. “I get making her work for it, but she doesn’t have any control over how Jake reacts to all this.”

“They’re my terms, take them or leave them.” Leah repeated.

“I’ll take them,” Ryan said at once.

“What?!” Exe asked, turning to her.

Both Leah and Megan also seemed surprised. Oddly, Lindsey only nodded, grinning. That was the corner Ryan had really expected resistance from.

“Alright! Radical!” Lindsey said. “Let’s do this thing!”

Leah reached beneath her dress and pulled a golden version of the blue credit cards they used for their day to day BP purchases.

“Here you go. It’s loaded with a bypass to get around any payment requests for mental and physical changes you wish to apply to yourself,” She said.

She flicked it with two fingers, and Ryan caught it out of the air. Megan leaned in, squinting at her.

“Did you…have that on hand ahead of time?” She asked.

Leah’s pretty lips curled into a smirk.

“After all you’ve seen here, a little parlor trick like that is what confuses you?”

“I…no…” Megan stammered. “It’s just…well, you can obviously do things beyond my comprehension here, but most of them could at least have some quasi-scientific explanation.”

Exe cocked her head.

“And a card trick doesn’t?”

Megan shook her head.

“Not if she had it before she knew what our demands were,” She said, “It doesn’t matter right now. I guess I’m just fascinated.”

“Well, you’ll have to allow me some secrets,” Leah said. “Honestly, you all pull one over on me and you think I’m completely without my own power of my own.”

She waved a hand.

“Go on. I have matters to attend to. Come and see me when you’re done. I’d like to have a look at you.”

“You’ll have to get in line behind my mother. And Jake and AJ, too,” Ryan said. “But I’ll figure it out.”

“No. Come to me first,” Leah said. “I may have something else for you after all, if you do a good job.”

Yet Another Hour Later

“Are you sure you wanna do this part first?” Lindsey asked as Ryan lowered herself onto the device.

As it turned out, physical changes were done in a building that styled itself a spa, on what looked like tanning beds. Only as it closed around her, she saw a reflection of her own body rather than a tube of lights looking down on her.

Her own naked body. She supposed it made sense that she had to strip down to alter her body, but that didn’t make it anymore comfortable. Ryan wondered if this is how Emily felt all the time now.

“You okay in there?” Lindsey yelled from outside the tube.

The noise made Ryan jump.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” She said in a more appropriate indoor voice. “Just waiting for it kick on and…wooooaaaah!”

She was interrupted mid-sentence as the machine hummed to life beneath her. With a gasp, she felt it connect to her mind; a psychic bond she could feel instantly.

“Are you alright?” Lindsey asked again.

Her concern was charming, but a little irritating, too.

“I’m fine,” Ryan repeated. “The thing just…logged into my brain somehow. Like I can just think what I want into it.”

“Woah!” Megan marveled. “A fully responsive neural interface? With a real time, visual response? That’s wild!”

Ryan could hear the sounds of rustling outside of the tube.

“Megan, what the hell?” Exe cawed.

“It says you have to take your clothes off to use the machine,” Megan answered, excitedly. “I want to test it myself!”

Ryan tuned them out, focusing on the task at hand. She was building a new identity, and that started with a new look. It was the foundation for everything else. Yet now that she was here, she had no idea what she actually wanted that new look to be.

“Baby steps,” She muttered.

She wanted her new self to stand out in the contest, by adding some variety. She supposed there were a lot of ways to do that. She didn’t have to be blonde, or even white, insofar as that went. But Ryan loved her parents too much to erase their genetic legacy. She still wanted to look like their girl at the end of the day.

She started with her hair, turning it from her father’s sandy blonde to Farra’s coal black. But she shortened it too, and gave it George’s unruly thickness. The result was a shaggy pageboy cut that was cute, but boyish. She let out a little cry of surprise as her hair changed in real time, shortening, thickening and restyling as she willed it into its new shape.

The dark hair didn’t suit her complexion, though, and she went to work on it next. Rather than adopting Farra’s Persian complexion wholesale, she went in a more nebulous direction, deeping her peaches and cream skintone to a warm one that could darken into an olive shade if given enough sun. Her whole body tingled, her skin crawling as her thoughts became a reality in real time.

“Are you actually changing in there?” Lindsey asked.

“Yeah,” Ryan said. “It’s kinda freaky.”

Next, she went to work on her face, which was too much like her mother’s now. She gave it a more angular cast instead, and replaced her almond shaped eyes with large round ones. She lightened them back to her original bright green color as well, which created a striking contrast with her new, darker look.

Ryan thought back to her childhood, when she was a chubby, freckled little boy. She’d eventually grown into a tall, clear skinned man before slipping back into chubbiness due to neglect. But there was something there. She thought about Emily, then added a light smattering of freckles. To finish, she stole her mother’s pillowy lips.

A gamer through and through, Ryan was the sort who could spend an hour agonizing over every detail of a character creator. And so it was as she remade herself. She had no idea how much time was passing as she tweaked this, or modified that; only that it was a lot, and her eyes were getting tired.

The last changes were all to her body type. To start, she gave herself a lot of her old height back, aiming to end up somewhere between Lindsey’s above average and AJ’s very tall heights. Most of that was concentrated in the legs, which were long and toned, but shapely. She knew enough about what Jake liked to give herself a nice, heart-shaped ass and kept her breasts perky, but modest.

Finally, she let out a deep breath and opened the hatch, sitting up in her new body.

“Holy shit…” Lindsey said.

“How do I look?” Ryan asked, brushing her hair back.

Her bangs had a way of falling over her right eye. That had looked cute in the mirror, but was annoying now that she was up and moving around.

“Fucking amazing!” Lindsey said, handing her a towel. “You’re gorgeous!”

Ryan felt herself blush as she clumsily fought to secure her towel around her body.

“I didn’t think this through,” Ryan said. “Pretty sure I just gave myself about 6 or 7 inches, and there’s no way the clothes I bought fit now.”

“No bigs,” Lindsey said. “We’ll just run over to the clothing shop. It’s right across the way.”

Ryan sighed.

“I guess we’ll have to. I kinda wanted to tailor the style after I’d settled on the mind.”

She fumbled, almost losing the towel again.

“Can you help me out with this?”

“I probably better not,” Lindsey said, taking a step back. “I got that whole sexy lay on hands curse at the moment.”

Among the curses Lindsey had taken this round, she’d selected one that caused a steadily building arousal in anyone she touched until someone else helped them get off. The initial kiss that another curse required didn’t seem to count, but anything after that did, and Ryan didn’t want to become a sex volcano while she tried to sort this all out.

“Right. Duh,” Ryan said. “Thanks for the warning.”

She looked around.

“Where are the other two?”

“They moved onto the boutique. Buying new clothes for Megan and stuff,” Lindsey said, waving her along. “C’mon. If we hurry, they might still be there.”

And then they went shopping...

She stepped out of the dressing room, posing awkwardly for the other three; or two, since Megan was nowhere to be found.

“What do you think?” Ryan asked.

She’d selected a pair of high waisted jeans that conformed to her long legs and ass, along with a dark souls t-shirt tied off at the waist and a pair of low top skate sneakers.

“You look rad. Like a sexy tomboy!” Lindsey smiled.

“That’s exactly what I was going for!” Ryan said, pumping a fist.

Exe looked more critical.

“It’s not bad…but lose the jeans. Maybe scale them back to cutoffs,” She said. “And no black for the shirt. Think…brighter. A nice red one, or maybe something in green to make your eyes pop.”

Ryan shifted nervously, but then nodded. Whatever animosity still existed between them, Exe had a killer eye for fashion, and seemed to enjoy putting it to work. She ping-ponged between advising Ryan and Megan, and both of them were honing on very appealing new looks under her tutelage.

Ryan slipped back into the booth. While the boutique had mannequins and clothes laid out, it was all for show. The inventory was sparse. The real selection was in the changing booth, where “customers” could select clothes from a display of themselves on a large touchscreen that displayed themselves where a mirror would normally be. Any articles selected would then appear on their bodies, while any they purchased were added to their closets back in their rooms.

She made a few selections, then stepped back out. She’d replaced the jeans with cutoff shorts, adding a stylish belt chain and a punkish leather wristband with a built in watch and a baseball cap for good measure.

“There you go!” Exe said, “Now you’ve got it. Don’t be afraid of skirts, though. You can still do the look you’re going for with them if you know how to subvert it a bit.”

“Subvert it?” Ryan asked. “How do I do that?”

Lindsey grabbed Exe’s hand.

“Totally get it if you’re not comfortable with it, or whatever,” She said. “But why don’t you just head in and help her yourself? Show don’t tell, y’know?”

Exe looked between the two of them for a moment, then nodded.

“I’m cool with it if you are.”

Ryan began to lead her into the booth when Megan stepped out. Under Exe’s instruction, she’d been fortifying her own wardrobe, maintaining the “hipster librarian” style with a new, sexier flourish. All part of her plan to win the hearts and minds of the audience, since Jake was off the table.

She’d selected a tight-fitting, long-sleeved shirt with a short black skirt with built in suspenders that wound over it. A small beret rested atop her head, the same sea green color as the shirt. She was also struggling with it, twisting frantically to adjust the skirt’s back zipper.

“This stupid machine keeps putting my clothes on wrong,” Megan grumbled. “Can I get a hand please?”

“Here, I’ve got it for you,” Lindsey said, with a grin that looked almost impish “You two go wrap up. If you wanna buy a suite of outfits or whatever, just throw it on my card.”

“Lindsey, you’ve spent too much on my clothes and makeup already!”

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Lindsey said, placing her hand on Megan’s shoulder to zip her into her outfit. “Just buy me dinner or drinks or something and we’ll call it even.”

That Evening

Leah opened her door to find a stranger knocking on it; a tall, beautiful woman with short hair, startling green eyes, and a boyish air about her.

“Ryan?” She asked, cocking her head.

“Yup,” The girl agreed.

Leah stepped out, pacing around her as she admired the new woman.

“You look fantastic,” She said. “Good style for your new body.”

“Exe and Lindsey helped a lot,” Ryan said. “I owe the two of them big time for it.”

“And your mind. What did you do there?” Leah asked.

Ryan stiffened, looking uncomfortable.

“Not much, honestly,” She said. “I gave myself all the feminine whatsits I needed to know. Made myself comfortable in my own body, matched Exe’s fashion sense and gave myself knowledge on how to flirt and whatnot.”

She shifted, before adding, “Made myself bi.”

Leah nodded.

“No personality changes. No extra ambition or confidence or anything like that?”

Ryan began to look irritated. Leah didn’t precisely blame him. They were probing questions.

“Why the fuck do you care?” She asked.

Leah kept her voice steady when she answered.

“You had the opportunity to be anyone you wanted, that’s all.” She said, “I’m curious as to why you were conservative.”

“I didn’t want to be anyone. I wanted to be me. Or the girl version, anyway,” Ryan said, defiantly. “You said yourself, starting from the ground up is the easy way out.”

Leah nodded, allowing herself a smile.

“Good. That’s what I wanted to hear,” She said.

She reached out and touched Ryan’s cheek. Leah could tell she wanted to flinch back, but she drew Ryan’s gaze to meet hers.

“You had the chance to run, or to stand your ground and grow,” She said. “You chose the latter and you should be proud of yourself.”

She stepped back, watching and Ryan absorbed what she’d had to say.

“Thanks, Leah,” She said after a minute. “I really am trying now. It might be too late, but…well, I’m glad I did it late instead of not doing it at all.”

Leah nodded. Ryan had responded well to the stick, so she’d earned herself a carrot. And Leah had a very large one in mind for her.

“So am I. For what it’s worth…I’m glad something good is coming from all this for you,” She said softly. “I have something else for you, if you want it.”

Ryan eyed her warily.

“I thought you said I didn’t get any more handouts.”

“And I meant it. But in my capacity as hostess, I’ve been given the chance to deliver off schedule rewards when I see fit, so long as they don’t compromise the integrity of the game,” Leah said. “This isn’t a handout, love. It’s a reward.”

“Okay,” Ryan said. “What’s the reward, then?”

“A name,” Leah said simply. “Any name you want. It won’t just be your new name, it’ll be how people see you. How they speak of you.”

Ryan blinked.

“See me? What does that mean?” She asked. “I don’t wanna erase the old me, that’s the whole point of…everything I just said.”

“It’s not erasure,” Leah reassured him. “It’s identity. Reinforcing the new you you want to be. Everyone will know who you are now, and who you used to be. It’s a…line of demarcation, if you will.”

Damn, but she was doing a bad job explaining this.

“You don’t have to be seen as Ryan, the sad boy trapped as a girl anymore. You can forge ahead as an equal.”

Ryan fell quiet for a long time as she considered it. Finally, she leaned forward and whispered a full name into her ear.

Leah nodded, then drew up on the well of power her producers still allowed her access to, and made the change.