A Hazmat Team

Within two minutes a four-man hazmat team arrived. Well, two men and two women hazmat team. All wearing Tyvek jumpsuits with hoods, booties, gloves, and respirators. The first in the door, Sarah, the leader, stopped dead in her tracks, this caused the entire team to plow into her as they had all been moving as fast as their equipment would allow. A typical Keystone cops scene followed. With everyone on the floor, trying to get up without tearing their suits. Of course, their respirators fogged up from all the hard breathing, so they couldn’t even see why Sarah had stopped.

“What the hell Sarah? What are we dealing with? I can’t see a thing!” Frank from engineering complained. “My mask is completely fogged”

“Well, Uh, You know John from chemistry? And Jessica from management?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well, umm, they’re right over there.” She pointed vaguely 90 degrees from the couple “They’re naked and having sex!”

A chorus of “What?” “No” “Huh?” followed her pronouncement.

Frank asked “During a drill?” and “Out in the open?”

Janet had meanwhile been laying on her back, staying calm and getting her breath back under control. “I can see them.” She announced, as her mask began to defog. “They aren’t moving.”

Paul, the paramedic asked “What do you mean they aren’t moving? I thought they were having sex?”

“Well, it’s a little hard to see with the mask, but they are standing together. He’s behind her. They’re both naked. She’s bent over and seems to be holding her ankles. It looks like they’re having sex but they aren’t moving.” Janet finished

“Paul. How’s the air?” Sarah asked

“Not sure. Can’t really see the display”

“Janet. Do you know how to read Paul’s monitor?”

“Not sure what it all means but I can read the display.”

“Good, read it off to Paul.”

Paul handed the equipment to Janet who proceeded to read levels off. After about seven sets of numbers, with two confirmations, Paul reached up and removed his respirator. “Holy Shit!” he said as soon as he looked to his left. “You weren’t kidding! Air’s fine people. You might get a little light headed in ten minutes or so. If you do just move to fresh air for the same amount of time. I’ll drag some O2 down here.”

As they each took off their respirators, they each exclaimed about the couple before them.

“Are they alive?”

“Are they conscious?”

“Why aren’t they moving?”

“Why aren’t they taking?”

“What a way to go!”

“Can they hear us?”

“Why are they having sex?”

“The question is why are they still having sex?”

“Ok People” Sarah said. “Keep all hazmat protocols in place except the respirators. And no, people, this is not a drill. Frank, walk us through what happened. Paul Check on John and Jessica. Don’t get close, don’t touch them.”

“Right” and “Check”

Frank was close to the pressure gauge, looking at the floor. “So, it looks like this fitting cracked, no idea why, released about fifty gallons of finished product, right here on the floor. Product is dry now, so it should be safe to walk on, but only with hazmat gear. It’s still Gecko Glue, it’ll stick to anything not treated. Keep an eye out for puddles. If it’s deep enough it may not have cured yet. Judging by the clothing glued to the floor, it must have dowsed both of them pretty thoroughly. They started shedding clothes and heading for Decon per protocol. Why they stopped to have sex I have no idea”

Sarah and Janet had joined Paul over by the couple. It was obvious they were breathing and were completely covered with Gecko Glue. The reason they weren’t talking was now obvious. Janet’s lips were glued shut and John’s were glued to the nape of her neck. Both were having enough trouble just breathing. All four of their eyes had been glued shut. And yes, they were definitely having sex. Janet had crouched down, and confirmed that yes indeed he was inside her. For some reason his balls were pulled forward between her legs and glued to her mons. Sarah reached forward and touched his naked butt. That caused him to jerk away hard. He had nowhere to go but in, which started the two thrashing, they were obviously trying their best to separate but were getting nowhere. Muscles flexing against muscles. Butt cheeks stretching, then clenching. Both now making mmmf noises and blowing out of their noses. They could all see both sets of hands trying to lift and getting nowhere, unable to lift a single finger. There was a kind of reverse humping going on as John still tried to extricate himself. After a minute of this the couple started to calm down again.

“Janet, find two sets of bone conduction headsets, there should be some in the office there. Obviously, they didn’t hear us come in.” Sarah instructed.

“With all the racket we made?” John asked

“They must have gotten their ears full as well.” Paul guessed. "It doesn't take much to muffle sound."

Janet came back with the headsets and put them on the couple. There was some twitching when touched but it calmed down when they realized it was headsets.

“Frank, why are they so stuck? I mean it looks like Superglue stuck not just Gecko Glue stuck?” Sarah asked.

“Well” he answered “For one thing this is the latest batch, and while we haven’t finished all the testing on it, it seems to be about 10 times stronger than the last composition. And more importantly this is a glue-on-glue situation. Probably more than double the holding power. They would never get free without outside assistance.”

“Can we get them free?”

“We won’t know till we try, will we. Paul?”

“I agree, there’s no solvent yet, we don’t even have a finished product.”

“Ok then,” said Sarah. “Everyone make sure your hazmat is intact unless you want to become part of a permanent orgy.”

Everyone checked each other’s jumpsuit and gloves.

“Ready? Frank and Paul try to free John’s head and mouth, Janet and I will work on Jessica’s mouth.”

We had all worked with Gecko Glue so we had a pretty good idea how to unstick it from other surfaces. It was a lot harder to undo from itself. John was a lot tougher than Jessica but had a larger area stuck But we had almost no leverage on Jessica's mouth. John's head came free first.

“So, what the hell happened, John?” asked Sarah when John’s mouth was finally free. “You were having sex under a leaky pipe? I didn’t even know you guys were a thing.”

“We’re not a thing! I mean yes, we’re having sex, but it’s by accident! I swear!” John protested.

“Wish I could have sex by accident.” said Frank

“No really, we were trying to get to Decon when she got stuck like that and I just ran into her!”

“Dick first? You just happened to line up perfectly? And why didn’t you stop?” Sarah asked “And she just happened to be wet?”

“I don’t know if she was wet or not, I had enough wet glue on my dick that it just went right in!”

“Oh Shit!” Paul said. “You had glue on your dick? And now you’re inside her? You know how much trouble we had getting your face off her shoulder!”

John hung his head. Unfortunately hanging his head brought it back in contact with Jessica’s shoulder. Where it promptly stuck just as thoroughly as before.