A new morning.

As a result of sleeping so well, that Thursday morning I woke up refreshed, uplifted and an hour earlier than usual despite going to bed a little later due to getting lost on playing the guitar.

That solo was starting to come together!

Anyway, I didn’t feel like staying in bed, so I went through the usual morning routine, just earlier. Once I was clean and dressed for school, I decided to take the extra time given to me and be the one to make breakfast that morning. Like I’ve said, it was nothing fancy. I just set the table, toasted some bread, made some eggs and boiled the water for tea and coffee.

Mom came down the stairs and into the kitchen, already dressed for work but with a face that said she still hadn’t woken up. She shot me an odd, silent glance at seeing me in the kitchen first, but I answered by pouring her her cup of coffee. Black and with a spoon and a half of sugar.

She sat down at the square table and took a sip immediately. I still don’t know how she can do that. I can’t handle beverages that hot without murdering my tongue, but she just goes for it. Madwoman.

The result was near instant, to the point I believed it was more the placebo effect than caffeine. My mom’s eyes woke up and she let out a content sigh.

“Thanks, dear. But what’s with you being up so early?” she asked.

I shrugged sheepishly. “I had a good night’s rest.”

“Oh, how I wish I could say the same. It’s getting harder and harder for me to fall asleep. I’m trying not to depend on pills, but last night was bad. Those pills also leave me super drowsy in the morning.”

The stress had been clear in her face for months now, but not all of it was due to work. “Are you visiting aunt Natalie again this weekend?”

She nodded tiredly. “Only from Friday to Saturday this time. The trial is going well, at least.”

I pressed my lips in frustration. Aunt Natalie was getting divorced from her husband, so mom had been visiting every other weekend for support. My cousin Zoey was in her freshman year of university, renting an apartment with a friend of hers. I couldn’t imagine she was having an easy time with her parent’s divorce, but she stopped texting to me and Isabelle ever since the whole deal started. And we were so close as kids, too. I didn’t understand.

“Don’t worry,” mom told me, smiling. “Your aunt is doing well and your cousin is focusing on her studies. Believe me when I say it’s better this way.” Mom wasn’t one to dress things up, so if she said it, I had little choice but to believe her.

Isabelle came down to eat a little later, looking sleepy. She didn’t like coffee, so her sleepiness would go away as the day went by. I had finished eating, and frankly I didn’t feel like walking to school with my sister so she could pester me about my date… err… outing yesterday, so I left before her.

That meant I arrived at school like 20 minutes earlier than usual, and I already got there pretty early every day. Our school was big, with the main building being five stories tall and two adjacent two-story buildings for things like labs, auditoriums, the library, club rooms and more. Behind those three buildings were the gym with a multipurpose court, a soccer field for outdoor exercise, and a couple of tennis courts. The fact that Isabelle and I attended there was nothing short of a miracle, really.

Anyway, that meant that it took time to get the school ready for students. Janitors and teachers had to arrive even earlier than students, and me being there so early meant the door to my classroom was still locked. Not knowing where to go, I defaulted to checking if the door to the old music room was open. And what do you know? It was.

Goes to show how forgotten that room was and how damn big the school was, too.

I sat down on the gym mat, put on my headphones and started the music on my phone again. It was quiet, tranquil, peaceful… and a little lonely. It wasn’t any different to what I’d been doing for almost three years. Alone in the same place, listening to music to pass the time until class started, only to go back home at the end of the day to play games and play music.

…

My chest tightened. I wanted to talk to Sarah. I wanted to hug Grace. I wanted to kiss Mila. Images I’d fantasized many times were now possible and within my reach, so in a way they were more painful than my fantasies. They were closer, so not having them at that instant was… How can I say it? Distressful? Maybe that was too much.

I lightly punched my forehead several times to chide myself. I didn’t want to be needy and clingy. I’d heard that was a serious turnoff to most women. I didn’t want to disturb them or bother them. But… Being with them was like a ****. The more time I spent with them, the closer I wanted to be.

Mila wasn’t the only one to feel that yesterday had been on another level to what we’d done before. I wanted to do it again, and I wanted to do it with Grace and Sarah as well. But where is the line between showing interest and being a pain in the ass?

It was as I was deep in these thoughts that my phone buzzed. I hurriedly stopped the music and checked it.

-Mila: I ended up going to sleep early and I’m already at school. The classroom isn’t even open yet LOL.

My heart started racing, and I caught myself already tapping send to my reply.