"Take Off All Of Your Clothes"

“Are you circumcised or uncircumcised?”

“Oh, erm… uncircumcised,” he said, a little disarmed. “How often do you retract the foreskin and clean the head?” she continued, her voice still maintaining a professional monotone. Stunned, Rob stammered, “Oh, I don’t know. A couple of times a week I'd guess.”

“Well, we’ll see about that when I check you out after” Dr Verma said, her voice still emotionless, “but twice a week is not enough.”

What on earth was happening? Rob couldn’t remember when he had last received a medical assessment but surely it hadn’t been this in depth? Dr. Verma's emotionless face and tone was making Rob uneasy but he tried to calm himself down by reasoning that at least he didn’t have anything abnormal to say in his responses. He was rather healthy, after all, with a slim build and the only sign betraying his age being a slight greying tinge to his dark hair. All things considered he was in pretty good shape, at least in his opinion.

“Are there any other problems I should know about?” asked the doctor.

“No, not that I’ve noticed” he began. The doctor gave him a patronizing look. Rob was getting more worried. Had he done something to offend this woman?

“Alright, let’s check your blood pressure now.” Dr Verma wrapped the cuff of the monitor around Rob’s arm. “130/90. Normal, but a little higher than it should be. You’re going to need to work on your diet. Less salt, more veg. Tell me, have you been experiencing any pain in your testicles recently?”

“I, no!” said Rob, taken aback. “Hm, well we’ll take a look later just in case,” she said, jotting copious notes onto her clipboard. “We’ll check your blood pressure under stress a little later, too.

Okay, the rest of the tests can wait until after you’ve undressed.” Dr Verma handed him a white gown. “Take off all of your clothes and put this on. I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.” Under pressure? What does that even mean? Is there something wrong? Why doesn’t she just tell me what is happening? Rob was becoming both confused and annoyed as Dr Verma left the room. He began undressing, fairly confident that whatever it was, it couldn’t be that bad.