Pride and Perversion

It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a man in possession of a fortune must be in want of a decent shag. At least, this is the gist of Mrs. Bennet's views on the subject, and little wonder. She and her husband, (who she insists on calling "Mr. Bennet"), have five unmarried daughters who desperately need to marry in order to obtain financial security - and also to get away from a mother who perpetually lives on the edge of a nervous breakdown due to her obsessive fear of poverty. Alas, it is true that the greatest, most antisocial sin a woman can commit at this dawning of the nineteenth century, (apart from simply being a woman), is to be poor. Poverty is a shameful disgrace akin to prostitution. If you have to work in order to live, you are most certainly not a lady and therefore by definition, one of the lowest of the low. The underclass. Indeed, most poor women are automatically assumed to be either already prostitutes or at least are considered likely to become prostitutes at the flash of a bank note. This is odd because what could be more prostitute-like than a so-called virtuous woman seeking to be kept in affluence and influance by being bedded by a man in holy wedlock? Since women in general are currently not allowed to operate within the masculine world of commercial enterprise, (in benevolent order to prevent their fragile, fluffy, feminine little brains from imploding under the pressure), the only way a girl can procure a decent standard of living and a level of respectability for herself is to marry a wealthy and respectable man; and all wealthy men are naturally deemed to be respectable, (because everybody respects the power of money).

The Bennet family are currently all of a flutter because a certain eligible bachelor by the name of Mr. Charles Bingley has just taken up residence in neighbouring Netherfield Hall. Following a courtesy call on Mr. Bingley by Mr. Bennet, the entire Bennet family have been invited to a ball, (as indeed have every other family in the district with eligible spinster daughters for verily, Mr Bingley is on the pull). To aid him in his quest for a wife, Mr. Bingley has enlisted the help of his friend, Fitzwilliam Darcy; a man of impeccable taste coupled to an insatiable sex drive quite unrestrained by moral rectitude.

It is therefore curious to the casual observer that at the ball, Mr. Darcy elects to dance exclusively with Elizabeth Bennet whilst yet maintaining a certain level of coolness towards her. This is indeed something to be wondered at for this beautiful and intelligent young lady is in every respect, exceedingly fuck worthy; as indeed are her four sisters. He could have his pick of them, but since the Bennet family are of a lower standing in genteel society than his illustrious own, he is, or at least seems, politely yet arrogantly dismissive of them all.

In truth, Mr Darcy already has a lover in that, (just for starters), he secretly indulges in having frequent fornications with his younger sister, Georgiana. She, at least, is of noble birth and since she's as yet unwed, readily available to him 24/7. His sexual obsession with her began when, on returning from four uninterupted years in an exclusively male boarding school, he discovered his now not so little sister had grown breasts. He'd leapt on her the moment they were alone and has been doing so ever since. To this day, he just loves the girly way she squeals and the delicious way she wriggles each time he does it. He likes to get her on the floor of the now disused nursery. In fact, it darkly pleasures him to get her to play and act like a little child among the toys as he molests her. As a mere girl, Georgiana was considered to be just another part of the Darcy family estate to which he was sole heir. As the young Fitzwilliam was granted full access to all other aspects of the estate, he assumed he had the right of full access to his sister also and nobody thought it worth stopping him. After all, boys will be boys and anyway, in the late eighteenth century, there was no such thing as underaged sex. Once sex became possible, it became probable and most people simply accepted this. Georgiana certainly just accepted it; she considered that as a loyal and loving sister, it was somehow expected of her, as indeed it was by her horny brother. As far as the **** was concerned, whilst generally not approved of in polite society, everyone simply accepted that it when on and, as with farting in church, didn’t feel inclined to make a great deal of fuss about it.

Therefore, no one turned a hair when the Darcy children's father suddenly died from a heart attack whilst taking part in an energetic threesome with his teenaged offspring. This naturally lead to Fitzwilliam inheriting Pemberly along with all the titles and prestige that came with it. It goes without saying that he also inherited the proprietary right of ownership of the Pemberly estate female staff, and took great delight in immediately undertaking a thorough audit of their intimate physical assets. As their lord and paymaster, they couldn't refuse him. It simply wasn't done. Thus the plump cook, he fucked under the kitchen table; the middle-aged housekeeper, he stripped and ravished in the laundry room; the maids of any age he attacked at will where ever he found them. Whenever the mood took him, he took them. It was normal for the girl who brought him his bedtime drink never to leave his bedroom before morning and rarely be fit for duty for the remainder of the day. Naturally, his mother voiced her concerns about this outrageously lusty conduct, pointing out that his copulating with maids on the first floor landing was playing havoc with the cleaning schedule and also upsetting some of the more sensitive the house guests. That said, she only did so on one occasion; whereupon he quite calmly took her into their private chapel and made her swear (between her sobs) never to speak of this subject again and to never ever tell anyone about what he was up to. This she was **** to swear as she knelt before a brass statue of Christ. He felt particularly blessed a short time later to have that effigy of Jesus looking on as, once his mother had sworn herself to secrecy, he then proceeded to **** the distraut, protesting but ultimately yielding woman on top of the altar. He found suckling at his mothers exposed and swollen nipples that he'd first drenched in wine used for holy communion particularly satisfying. However, the sensation that excelled for him was the feeling of that moist and warm vagina through which he'd been born tensing to tightly embrace the full length of his supersensitive penis. This soon had him ejaculating life creating sperm towards the forbidden fruit of his dear mother's overies. To date, he considers managing to bring his own mother to crying out loud orgasm under such most inconducive of circumstances his proudest sexual achievement. That she didn’t actually conceive on this particular occasion he puts down as a mere act of God.

With all these shenanigans going on for Darcy, being away from Pemberly is a groin-felt frustration for him and the lovely Elizabeth makes it doubly so since he can’t immediately have her in the same manner as he has his family and staff. At the same time, he mistrusts her obvious intelligence. Might she discover his dirty little secrets if she becomes too close to him? Would she tell? This sanctimonious little bitch most certainly would, he was sure of it. In panic, he suddenly realises that he's falling in love with, and yet is simultaneously fearful of, Elizabeth. She might be socially his inferior but morally and possibly intellectually, she is vastly his superior. This makes him uncomfortable in Elizabeth's presence and yet he feels strangely wretched when she isn’t around. As far as Mr. Darcy can see, there is but one possible answer to this dilemma: the saintly, wonderful Miss Elizabeth Bennet must somehow be brought down to his non existent moral standard. In short, little Miss Perfect must be thoroughly corrupted . . .