Rosa’s Sudden Confession

“Everyone! Listen up, I have an announcement to make!” Diaz shouted suddenly in her loud, commanding voice.

“Great... Rosa has an announcement. Surely this sudden interruption will help me somehow... Wait. Is she wearing a trench coat?' You think as you stare at the intimidating, Latina detective.

“Well, don't keep us in suspense, Detective,” Captain Raymond Holt said, emerging from his office.

Only after she had everyone's attention did she begin.

“As you all know, I've been gone for the last two weeks recovering from surgery,” Rosa said.

“You had surgery and didn't tell anyone?” Terry asked.

“Not now, Terry!” Rosa snapped.

She took a breath.

“This isn't exactly easy to admit. But after years of soul-searching, I can finally be honest about something very personal.”

For once, Rosa seemed uncertain. As her coworkers stared back at her, she **** herself to continue.

“My name is Rosa Diaz, and I am a feminist and a proud woman.”

With dramatic flair, she threw open her trench coat, revealing the results of her surgery - the perkiest, largest globes of tit Peralta had ever seen.

“After making a few personal investments, I finally had enough money to get breast enhancement surgery. Exactly the kind of thing any real feminist should have,” Rosa said.

She was wearing her usual outfit, which now looked noticeably too small.

“Hot damn.”

“Hallelujah.”

Scully and Hitchcock spoke in unison.

“That’s not good,” Jake muttered as the situation immediately spiraled out of control.