IR Day 14 - You should have known

Beach fucking volleyball. You should’ve known.

They’ve done a good job down at the lake, covering the bank in pretty yellow sand, setting up nets and making it look like a cool, trendy volleyball spot on the real beach. The cameras are up and the stands are full.

You can see why Tiff is so mad: she has to wear a Pink Team bikini as well, and her top strains to contain her bountiful assets. That, and she knows damn well that most of you know nothing about volleyball, but that’s the point. That’s what FUTA wants. They don’t want amazing volleyball matches, they want girls in bikinis jumping around and falling down.

As you and your teammates squeeze into the tight suits, which are covered in logos. You have the FUTA symbol right on your crotch, Coca-Cola printed across your butt, Pink Team on one boob and Audi on the other. You’re glad that Pink Team has cool sponsors, but… this is crazy.

It’s a beautiful day, but nobody cares. Having to wear these suits for the camera? OK. Play volleyball? All right. But this event has a prize, and no one knows what the prize is. The winning teams get something. It’s not the Lodge because it’s not Friday. Everyone is secretly afraid of having to spend their weeknights at loser camp.

It’s just… it would be more fun if you knew what the prize was. Or if there was no prize. Then you could have a good time, but FUTA doesn’t care.

Cameras flash and people cheer as you walk out onto the sand with your team. You’re up against Yellow Team, which is led by a loud, haughty girl named Karin. She’s a startling beauty with breasts that rival Ingrid’s, but you don’t care. You must have matured as a person. Seeing girls in these bikinis would have once been completely arresting. Now you just don’t want to lose.

In soccer, Yellow Team’s play is characterized by **** aggression and precision, but they lack technical skill with only a few exceptions. It’s their rugged scrappiness that gives them a chance on Fridays, and you expect that to serve them well here.

Height matters in volleyball. Having Elena on your team is great, but she’s only one person. However, Yellow Team doesn’t have anyone taller than you except for Mai, a busty Japanese girl that you know little about. Their yellow bikinis are very cute, but Blue Team has the best ones. Or maybe that’s just because you caught a glimpse of Ingrid in hers. The bikini bottoms aren’t ridiculously skimpy, but Ingrid has such a full figure that… they look a little cheeky.

You focus. You don’t know what’s on the line in this match, so you can’t lose.

The producers are in bathing suits on loungers beside the sandy court, sipping drinks and watching. Annette is in the booth with Moxxi and Lulu. Loud music plays. It’s a party, and some of the others have noticed. Not all of Pink Team is as worried as you are, although you notice Max wearing a frown. Most of the others look like they’re having fun.

Maybe you should turn off your brain and do the same.