An unhelpful captain

For the first time, Valkyrie let herself really take in the sight of the ship’s real owner. Two arms, two legs, but not of the same stock Asgardian-reminiscent physiology that so many beings seemed to have. If anything, it looked like a tree - tall, wooden, with interwoven vines and strands of wood throughout its body. It regarded her with dark eyes.

“I am Noot,” it said, apparently concerned.

“Um. Scrapper 142,” Valkyrie said. She shifted slightly. “I think your cleaning droid took my outfit.”

“I am Noot,” the captain said.

“So you said,” Valkyrie said. “Listen, I didn’t mean to sneak aboard, no hard feelings okay? Just hand my armor back and I can go back to my own ship, and…”

“I am Noot,” the captain said helpfully.

“I get it,” Valkyrie said.

She groaned - well, they weren’t any help. She stared at the captain - and ‘Noot’ stared back, its wide, dark eyed unblinking. Valkyrie shifted slightly. Well, he wasn’t turning around.

Her eyes narrowed, and she took a few steps backwards, eventually remembering to let one arm dart down from her breasts to her crotch. Step one should probably be to find her armor. Then she could go about trying to communicate that she wanted a lift back to Sakaar, or at least a lift back to somewhere that could take her to Sakaar.

Well, anything was better than talking to a tree.

She bumped into the wall, her blind backwards-walking not the most effective way of navigating the ship. She shifted forwards, aware of nothing except a butt-level cabinet behind her, before looking back over her shoulder; she took a couple of steps left, then turned her attention back to the oblivious tree.

“I am Noot?” it said again.

“Not helping,” Valkyrie muttered.

She started shimmying back again, and darted sideways as soon as she saw that she could, out of sight. Taking a deep breath, she let her arms drop and looked around the corridor; it was a little more spacious than her ship, something she was pretty sure she ought to have noticed, with more than just the one open area and cramped adjoining rooms.

Well, Noot didn’t seem to be trying to stop her wandering around its ship, so she took the opportunity to open a door to a room. There was a flowerpot, a watering can, and a bin piled high with loose leaves. Unsurprisingly, the talking tree didn’t have much of a wardrobe. It didn’t even have so much as a shower and towel.

Figured. Still, thinking, Valkyrie quickly lifted up a handful of the dry leaves and threw them onto the floor in the corridor. She held her breath - and a few seconds later, the cleaning droid rolled out and swallowed up the dirt.

It beeped, and looked up at her.

“Just ignore me. Go throw that wherever you throw the rest of the rubbish,” Valkyrie said.

The robot beeped again, and darted forwards, slipping between her legs. Valkyrie stumbled, then hastily turned around and started to follow it.

There wasn’t far to go. In the next room along, there was a large glass chamber: the robot fed its contents into a small metal tube, sending the loose leaves scattering into the chamber.

And then, on the other side of the glass divide, a wall opened to reveal the gaping expanse of space. Valkyrie stared for a moment, as the detritus was sucked out into the void, and the airlock closed.

The robot beeped, bumping into her bare foot. She quickly darted out the way.

Okay, that was two new things she’d learned. One, her clothes had probably been thrown out the airlock. Two, she wasn’t just naked in a random spaceship, but very much seemed to be in space, not still around Sakaar.

Ah.

Valkyrie quickly turned back around and awkwardly made her way back to the captain. Noot had barely moved. Carefully, Valkyrie hurried to the counter, glad it was just high enough to hide most of her core, save for the creases at the top of her thighs. She crossed her arms again, undeniably a little indignant at this whole situation.

“Okay. So. You left Sakaar,” Valkyrie said.

“I am Noot,” the tree said.

“Mind telling me where we’re going?” Valkyrie said.

“I am Noot,” it said.

“Somehow I just knew you were going to say that,” Valkyrie said.

Great. Naked, en route to who-knew-where, with a terrible conversationalist as a companion.

The ship’s engines whirred. For a moment, Valkyrie was half-impressed that she’d maybe managed to sleep through a jump. Then she grimaced.

“Okay, I’m just gonna go see what you’ve got around here,” Valkyrie said. “So. Er. Let me know when we’ve landed.”

She was halfway to finger-gunning before her still-tired brain reminded her that maybe wasn’t the best idea right now. Valkyrie shuffled backwards again, seeking the privacy of one of the ship’s few rooms as she waited for… well, she didn’t know what. Hopefully a world with clothes, a stiff drink, and a ride back.

Hopefully.