Allen Breaks It Off with Bree

Allen was unable to console Kate. He realized that what she was going through was beyond his scope. He took his wife to a mental health institute. Her doctor was a young woman in her late twenties, Dr. Lewis. She was petite and wore eyeglass frames that nearly covered her face. She assured Allen that Kate needed time to unpack childhood issues that caused trauma that Kate never addressed. That what Kate experienced was a nervous breakdown triggered by what was happening in their marriage.

The doctor left Allen alone with Kate. He looked at her as she lay in bed resting. He let out a deep sigh. She turned and saw him standing, one arm folded as the other held up his chin.

“Thanks for being here,” she said.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” He asked.

She sat up a little, “Well, it’s not the sort of thing a person wants to talk about. And for many years, I tried to convince myself that it didn’t happen.”

He nodded, “Why do you still defend him so.”

“He is my father. I knew he meant well.”

Allen shook his head, “No, no, no Kate. That’s not what meaning well looks like. You don’t hurt the people you love in hopes that it will make them well.”

Kate scoffed, “I get it. You don’t understand. He’s always been a good dad. He took care of us. He only wanted me—”

“To be normal,” Allen shook his head in disgust. “What he did wasn’t normal.”

Kate saw the look on Allen’s face. She knew he wanted to inflict harm on her father. “Promise me that you will not do or say anything to my father.”

Allen scoffed, “I can’t promise that.”

“Allen please.”

“I won’t hit him. Okay.”

Kate nodded, “Besides, we’re working on things, right? I’ll be better. Things will be fine.”

Allen wondered what that looked like for her, but he was too tired to even get into the conversation. For three nights he had been at the hospital by her side while she cried and revealed the most appalling things to him about her adolescence.

Mentally he was tired. “I think I’m going to head home tonight.”

Immediately she frowned, “Seriously?”

“Kate, I’ve been here for three days, I need a break. Just going to go home and check on things.”

“You mean to check on her.”

He sighed, “If we’re going to work on ourselves, you have to trust me. Trust. I wasn’t the one that cheated on you without your knowledge.”

“Touché.”

“Look,” he moved closer and ran his fingers through her hair, “I’m here with you just like I vowed. We will get through this. Trust me,” he said before he kissed her forehead and left.

After Kate watched Allen leave, her mind immediately went to a happy yet dark place. She was fourteen. She had a friend named April. April was fun and lively. Often wore bright colors and spoke her mind. She had the prettiest red hair and these bright green eyes. They liked to read books to each other while eating sandwiches and drinking sweet tea.

One day, April was at Kate’s house. They were in Kate’s bedroom talking. April happened to spot a stack of catalogs for women’s clothing on the side of Kate’s bed. She smiled, “I have a lot of these too,” she reached for one.

Kate felt a little embarrassed, she took the catalog from April, placed it with the others, and slid them under the bed. April smiled, “Don’t be embarrassed. I like those too. The women are pretty.”

“You don’t understand.”

April reached for Kate’s hand and smiled, “But I do. I’ve liked girls since I can remember.”

Kate smiled, “Really?”

April ran her fingers through Kate’s long hair. They shared a sweet look before April kissed her. They giggled at first but did it again. For weeks they snuck around until Kate’s father entered her room unannounced and saw them kissing and holding each other.

He immediately belted out, “Get out of my house. You’re nothing but the devil trying to corrupt my daughter! This will not happen.”

April scrambled to leave. Kate was too embarrassed to look at her father.

Kate looked around the room she was in alone. All those years she spent trying to be normal. All those years she hid from her two husbands her love for women. All those years. She sighed. She only hoped Allen would adhere to his word. She closed her eyes and went to sleep.

Bree was at a loss. She had called Allen a few times and even tried Kate, but neither had answered. She wondered if everything was fine because he had not seen them.

She was in the living room when she heard stirring from the backyard. She hurried to her feet and left out her patio door, hurried to the fence, opened the door, and saw Allen throwing away thrash, “Hey,” she said.

She noticed that he didn’t have that usual spark in his eyes like when he’d look at her. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. I’m fine.”

“And Kate?”

“Kate’s fine.”

She nodded and shrugged, “So?”

He stared at her. He didn’t know what Bree wanted from him at that moment. He was dealing with heavy shit, “I have to get going,” he stated plainly.

Bree scoffed, “Soooo, just like that? You have to get going. No explanation of why I haven’t heard from you in three days.”

“Look, I don’t have time for this.”

“This?” She nodded.

“Yes. Whatever this is you’re trying to do. You knew I was married before we started. I don’t owe you anything. None of this shit would have happened if you would have just kept your legs closed to a married man.”

As soon as he said it, he knew he had fucked up. The looked she gave him would have cut through stone. He reached for her, “Bree—”

She pulled away, “Fuck you, Allen! Just. Fuck you.” She left with tears in her eyes.

He kicked the trash can leaving a dent on the side, “Fuck!” He didn’t want to say those things. But maybe it was for the best. Just like ripping off the band-aid. It was done. He could focus on his wife.

The sound of her heart-shattering was heartbreaking. She knew, in the beginning, the situation was temporary, but with time her heart opened. Her mind envisioned something more. Was that her mistake or his? Who was the blame for the fiasco that was her life, she asked herself as he sobbed in her room?

“I’m not a bad person,” she said out loud. She repeated it several times. Love was always within reach yet seemed to maneuver away from her. She called her best friend that consoled her over the phone.

Nicole was shocked that Allen would talk to Bree that way and wondered what it was all about. She even asked Steve. He didn’t have a clue because Allen had not called him or answered his calls in days.

Decidedly, Bree went to stay with Nicole. She planned to stay for a few days to get her mind off everything. Nicole welcomed her with open arms.

Bree took one of the extra bedrooms. She sat thinking about her part in the fiasco. Nicole walked in and saw her heartbroken friend. It hurt her to see her so sad. She walked over and got in bed next o her, “I’m sorry sis this is happening to you. It’s always some bull shit, ain’t it.”

Bree nodded in agreement, “Yeah. Seems like it’s always something.”

“Do you regret doing it?”

“No. Not really. I just wish I hadn’t allowed myself to think of him in that way. I should have known better.”

“You only did what any person with a loving heart would do. You loved a man that loved you back. I don’t know what the hell is going on with him, but I do know that Allen loves you despite this bullshit he’s pulling.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m never doing any shit like this again. The next man I get will be my own…if I ever date again.”

“You’ll date again.”

“Maybe.”

“I’m going to go eat something. Hungry?”

“No. I’m good.”

“Alright babe,” Nicole said as she left the bedroom.

Bree couldn’t help but think about Allen. She was angry, but her mind, her heart still longed for him. She imagined him there with her smiling, touching her nose, running his fingers through her hair the way he would before he’d kiss her.

She imagined the scent of his cologne. How she loved to bury her nose in the crease of his neck and sniff him as he giggled. Those sweet moments they shared. They meant something. How could they all of a sudden just not? It didn’t make sense. Yet there she was without Allen. Without anyone to talk football to. Without anyone to take pictures of her. Without hearing someone say how much they enjoyed being with her. Without feeling his touch. She missed his touch.

She shuddered and sobbed all at once before falling over on the bed and crying into a pillow.