Subject Acquisition

Entry 1: Choosing the subject

Before commencing, read genome sequencing results from the High Council's records for full scientific information on the human species. Useful notes for future meta-science researchers will be highlighted throughout.

As stated in my preliminary remarks, I study non-reproductive sexual behavior, which cannot be adequately understood using gene sequencing. Only direct experimentation on a subject will suffice.

To this end, I was given an exploratory team to infiltrate human society, and identify and extract a suitable specimen for study.

It may be worth noting that there are two main morphological categories of humans - male and female, with a large number of other categories in between. However, as the sequencing results have shown, the differences amongst any of these categories is so slight that it is effectively useless to even consider them from a research point of view. I myself chose to pick up a male specimen because they tend to resemble hyporean morphology more closely than any of the others.

We enrolled in an organization called a 'University' which is said to contain a sizable amount of information on humans, produced by themselves. Much of this information is made accessible through locations called 'Libraries', though after utilizing a few of them, it is clear that no human-made information is of any real value.

Another location within the University is a place called a 'Soccer Field,' which had the most promising specimens. It was here that I first noticed Aiden - a young male who looked to be a perfect choice.

Note 1: There are several locations which are most ideal for observation in a 'University'. Among them are 'Shower room', 'Dorm room' and specially marked corridors. At all costs, avoid locations marked 'lecture hall' - they offer nothing of value. Ever.

To continue, we observed our target for a few days to ensure that he was the best candidate, and eventually managed to capture him in a 'Dorm room'.

It was interesting to note that young humans are extremely fond of consuming a certain class of hydrocarbons, which they call '****'. These substances have the useful effect of causing its consumer to first lose the little intelligence they possess, and second, if they keep consuming it beyond this point (which they almost always do) it causes them to lose conscious thought.

Aiden himself consumed 5,429 milliliters of an **** called 'beer' before proceeded to lose all brain function. Thereafter, to my delight, he began to orally pleasure several other human males, which signaled that he was the very kind of human we were looking for - a gay! Once he had had his fill of their seminal fluids, he induced a coma in himself which allowed us to transport him safely to the ship.

Note 2: Certain behaviors performed by researchers can cause odd reactions among humans. For instance, observing one in close proximity for an extended period can provoke hostile engagement. For a more comprehensive study of these observations, see the list of 'Side Entries' which accompanies the Main Entries below.