Yes, she like-a the juice

What could I do? Get her attention and explain she couldn't eat her stir fry because I'd cum on it? There was no way I was going to have that conversation.

For better or worse, though, if there's one woman who could not notice that were was about ten gobs of hot semen on her dinner, it was my Aunt Olivia. As I sat back down naked, she started eating and finally shut up about her podcast as she enjoyed her dinner.

In my nervousness I started blathering about how my electrician's apprenticeship was going. After all she'd talked about her podcasts for what felt like an hour flat, why shouldn't I talk about something that interested me? She actually seemed to be listening, which I suppose was good because it kept her eyes on me and not her food.

My eyes were on her food though. The stir fry was great and she took bite after bite. Each time she grabbed one with my sperm on it I braced for her to realize, but she took the cum-laden bites of chicken and vegetables into her mouth and savored them. My aunt was unknowingly eating my cum! Bite after bite she took, chewed and swallowed with delight. Since all my cum had gone on her plate, she was eating every single drop of my ejaculate.

Relaxing a bit, I enjoyed my own meal and finished getting all my thoughts out about how my apprenticeship was going.

"Well the key thing is to take good notes and read them," she said, "That's what I always did when I was in college. I'm sure being an electrician is similar, it sounds like you are learning so much technical information."

"Exactly," I said, amazed that she'd actually listened and understood what I was saying while not noticing that I was naked and had cum on her dinner. She is very smart and perceptive in some ways, almost as much as she's oblivious and unaware in others.

I did the dishes (only fair since she'd cooked) then enjoyed strutting around the condo naked. Being nude around an unaware woman was such a turn on. She could see my cock and balls, and maybe she noticed it on a subconscious level, but she clearly wasn't acting as if there was a naked man in her condo.

I thought that would be the end of it but as we were watching television, she said, "I keep tasting that wonderful stir fry. I'll have to have you spice my foods every night, Mark!"

Wow, so she tasted my cum, and actually liked it? That was amazing, if a bit hard to believe, but why would my respectable Aunt Olivia admit to wanting sperm on her food? She was a librarian, for goodness sake. She wasn't some pervert. She must have thought I'd just some kind of legitimate spice to her food which she liked, it was the only explanation.

"Uh sure, Aunt Olivia," I said, "I'm always happy to make your food taste better."

The thought of her tasting my cum all night while unaware of what it was, that was yet another perverse turn-on I'd discovered.

She smiled happily and resumed watching TV. You'd think having cum twice already that day I'd be done with sex, but nope. I was hornier than ever.

"You're an electrical engineer," she said. Okay that was several degrees of job inflation, but I didn't argue. "Surely you can figure out how to synchronize the remotes so this one controls the TV volume."

Aunt Olivia still has cable TV (I told you she was oblivious) so she had one of those old cable company DVRs with her nice new flat screen. They are annoying to program but I was up to the task, plus it gave me some ideas. Sure enough I was reaching around for three different remotes and let my hand go in the wrong direction and lift up her top, exposing her firm little breasts.

"Oops!" I said.

"Huh?" she said. Of course she hadn't noticed her tits were exposed.

"This is a lot of work," I said, "I have to hold this button down while it cycles through all the codes to find that one that works with your television."

That was true enough. "Can I do anything to help?" she asked.

I pretended to read the manual to her DVR. "It says to hold here," I said, offering her the remote to her sound bar to begin cycling through codes on it. She did. This was all legitimate so far.

"And here," I said. I guided her other hand to my cock. She wrapped her fist around my shaft and I groaned.

"Good," I said, "Hmmm the automatic code detection isn't working."

"Oh no!" she said, buying it, "Can we still get it to work?"

"Yes, I think so," I said, burying my nose in the manual so she couldn't see my face, "It's an old style remote though. You have to crank it manually. Move your left hand up and down. I know it's your off-hand but do your best."

"Mark!" she said, sounding mad. Okay, this was beyond ridiculous. I deserved to get busted for actually trying to get her to jerk me off by telling her my cock was a remote control. "I am left handed! Don't you notice anything about your aunt? I can crank the remote very well with my left hand."

I breathed a sigh of relief, although I did feel like a jerk for not knowing such a basic fact about my Aunt. Oh well, can't notice everything, huh? She started to masturbate me, evidently cranking a remote was a lot like jerking a guy off.

I looked at her beautiful tits and felt her hand on my shaft. She was pretty good at this even if she had no idea what she was actually doing. I fiddled with the remotes, entering the proper codes from the manual.

"Just a little more, you're almost to the right code," I said, breathing heavily, "Crank me faster. I mean, crank the remote faster."

"Okay Mark," she said, jerking me off fast now. I had to do it. I slid down her exercise shorts, exposing her shaved pussy. "Just looking for the last code," I said implausibly. I stared at her beautiful cunt as she stroked me to a powerful orgasm. My cum must have shot three feet in the air.

"Oh!" she said, "You did it, Mark!"

Huh? I looked at her, but she was looking at the television. The master remote was now controlling the volume, the channels, the DVR - everything.

She took her hand off my shaft and grabbed the remote, pleased that it was now doing what she wanted. I was pleased too but for a totally different reason.

Wow, I thought as I grabbed a tissue to clean up the mess, she really is the most oblivious woman in the history of the world. I knew I wasn't going to stop here. What man would? I had to find out a way to get my cock in her mouth. A blow-job from a woman who didn't even realize she was sucking a cock, it was the ultimate dream.

But how? I had to think hard. No pun intended.