Awkardness abounds.

The next morning, you wake up to the sound of chirping birds, but your sense of idyllic satisfaction is ruined when you remember the sounds you heard from your mothers room, and the red dress draped on the banister. Warily, you peek out your door, before hurrying into the bathroom. You quickly complete your morning rituals, before tentatively creeping down to the kitchen.

What you see there confirms your worst fears.

You see your mother, clad only in a (scandalously) short, silk kimono, passionately kissing a man you've not seen before. He's fully clothed, but he has no problem in letting his hands wander around the inside of her robe.

It's too early for this shit.

You clear your threat (quite impressively, you might add), and with a squeak, your mother and the mystery man break apart, with your mother sliding in front of him in an attempt to hide what you assume is his erection.

"Er... hi, sweety. Slept well?"

It's way too early for this shit.

You respond with a flat look, and she wilts a little. At this point, the man feels comfortable enough to step out from behind Ellen.

"Hey there, champ!"

You hate him already. Oh, and it's too early for this shit.

"Name's Kurt Anderson, sport. Nice to meet you!" he says, in what he appears to think is in a winning manner, while extending a hand to you. The same hand that was doing god-knows-what god-knows-where underneath your mom's kimono.

Yes, it's still too early for this shit. You don't respond, except to shoot him a withering (if bleary) glare. His smile falters, and his hand drops to the side.

"Erm, right, best be off. Those **** aren't going to sell themselves..." he says, as he shuffles awkwardly to the door. Your mother follows him, and pulls him down for a final, wet kiss. You look away in disgust, but you can hear her asking him to call her. In the meantime, you grab a cup of coffee and sit down at the table. Your mother joins you, trying to adjust her tiny kimono.

For a while, the two of you sit awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Then, you decide to go on the offensive.

"So, there's no need to worry about your dress, Mom. I dropped it in the laundry last night."

She blushes crimson, but gives you a look.

You stare at each other for a full minute, but you relent.

"So... looks like you had a good night." you say awkwardly.

"That I did. Kurt's a wonderful lo... er, man."

"Riiiiiight." you drawl. "Are you going to see him again?"

"If he calls me? Yeah." she says, a smile on her face. You suppose you can suffer through this if it means your mother will be happy. She's been through a lot, after all. "He's nice. Kind, and funny, and if you must know-"

"I mustn't" you interject,

She rolls her eyes. "Anyway, how was your night?"

"Went to Armand's. We had Astolfi's."

"And what were you drinking?"

You pause. She snorts. " I wasn't born yesterday, my boy. It's fine. You've more than proved yourself."

You sigh. "We had his homebrews. Absolutely amazing."

She cocks an eyebrow at you. "I think I should be worried that my baby boy knows what good and bad drinks are like, but I can't be bothered this morning. You're lucky, buster, and you should be thanking Kurt." she says, only a little tartly. "Then again, you have just spent two nights locked up in what might have been a sex dungeon, so..." she trails off, walking to the stove. "Anyway, do you want something hot?"

"Nah, cereal will do just fine, Mom."

You finish your breakfast with her, companionably trading quips. It seems that something in your relationship has shifted, if only a little. It's as though you realize that you're people, with desires and needs and a life beyond that of the parent-child relationship. It's... nice.