Contemplating about the future

I returned to my considerably less crowded sleeping quarters, got out of my uniform, and laid on my bed. I reflexively turned to a nearby bunkbed as I usually did to speak with my friends before sleep but found it empty. "Oh, right," I muttered to myself. I closed my eyes to sleep but, as I was about to drift off to unconsciousness, I remembered tomorrow will be the day where the regiments will accept new recruits which jolted me awake. For the next hour or so I just laid there wondering what my next step would be. My goal has always been to score high enough during cadet training to be at the top ten in order to join the Military Police Regiment and live a comfy life. I know that I'm not alone in having this goal. Most recruits aim for the same thing. It is perfectly natural for someone to dream of an easy life, especially if the alternative is to be eaten alive by titans. So, why am I having doubts so suddenly?

I was there when Shiganshina fell, and I fought in the previous battle for Trost, so I know firsthand how terrifying these titans are. But, at the same time, can I actually live a comfortable life with those images in the back of my mind? Will I be honoring the deaths of my friends if sat around doing nothing to avenge them or prevent others from experiencing the same fate? These questions and more raced through my mind before everything faded into black as I finally went to sleep.

Thoughts from the previous night plagued my mind all through the following day, all the way until the time of choosing came. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't bother talking to anyone, so I have no clue what anyone else is going to do. I snapped back to reality when the other cadets started walking away from the stage. Erwin Smith, the commander of the Scout Regiment, finished his speech. The time is now. As someone in the top ten I could join the Military Police Regiment and live a comfortable life like I initially planned. I can also join the Garrison Regiment and, with my ranking, move up inside their ranks rather quickly. Or I could join the Scout Regiment and risk my life for the sake of humanity's future. I have to make my choice quickly. If I walk away now, I could join the other two regiments. If I stayed, I'd be joining the Scout Regiment.