Hill has no idea what Peggy is talking about.

PEGGY

“What do you mean you never bloody contacted me?!” I shouted, slamming my fist down on Maria Hill’s desk.

The clothes I’d picked up from the dry cleaners were laying limpy on top of her desk as well. Hill had shown about the same level of disdain for them as I had when she’d seen them. She’d also been… marginally confused about why I’d barged into her office with them.

“I meant exactly what I said.” Hill replied calmly. “I never contacted you. I haven’t sent a message to your communicator for several weeks now.”

“Bullshit!” I snapped. “You contacted me this morning about there possibly being a mole in SHIELD! You said you needed my help to flush them out!”

Hill frowned. “I have been looking into the possibility of a mole here in SHIELD headquarters. It’s the only thing that could explain some of the issues our tacteams have been having. It’s still in the early stages though. I’m nowhere near putting together an operation for it.”

“Then explain this!” I said, yanking out my communicator and tossing it to her.

Hill dispassionately plucked it off of her desk and turned it on. She skimmed it briefly, then held it out to me.

“Explain what? You haven’t exchanged any SHIELD encrypted messages for several days now.”

I frowned and snatched it out of her hand. That couldn’t be right.

I skimmed through the communicator and sure enough, there was nothing. The last message I’d received from Hill was dated six weeks ago. All the messages I swore I’d sent her were all saved as draft messages, every single one unsent.

“No, this isn’t…”

“Are you feeling alright, Captain? I understand you’ve started to feel a bit stir crazy with the lack of active assignments.” Hill said, keeping her voice even.

“I’m not bloody crazy!” I shouted.

“Of course.” Hill said, not even raising her voice to match mine. “A poor choice of words. My apologies.”

I grabbed one of the clothes and started searching it, checking the pockets, then the seams, then looking for any hidden patches in the fabric. These clothes were proof that I wasn't hallucinating the whole thing. They’d been at the dry cleaners, under a name that the message had given to me specifically. There had to be something…

“Aha!” I said, finding a hidden pocket in the cheerleading top and ripping it open. Inside was a micro sd card. I held it out to Hill in triumph. “You see? There’s something to this. Take a look at this. I’d wager anything that it’s confidential SHIELD data.”

Hill furrowed her brow, but took the card from my hand and inserted it into the computer. She clicked around a little,and opened one of the files. Her eyes widened for a fraction of a second, then she immediately closed it and pulled the drive out of her computer.

“It’s porn.” She stated blandly.

“What?!”

“It’s porn.” She repeated. “Cheerleader themed. Seems appropriate.”

“Fuck!” I shouted, stomping the ground hard enough to crack the floor. “Someone’s messing with me. Someone in the technical branch, probably. They think they’re so fucking funny… Wasting my time like this. Sorry I wasted your time on this Hill. Hill?”

I frowned at Hill, who was staring at and inspecting the clothes with more effort than I was expecting.

“Tell me Captain, what are your measurements?” She asked randomly.

“What? Why?”

“It’s probably nothing, just…” She set the clothes aside. “These costumes seem… awfully large for a woman with an average physique.”

“I don’t like what you’re implying.” I said coldly.

“You don’t have to. All you have to do is follow orders.” Hill said, clasping her hands behind her back. “And I’m ordering you to go get an immediate psych eval.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

“I assure you I’m not.” Hill tapped a few buttons on her computer. “Until you’ve completed your evaluation, you are officially off-active-duty. If you want your position back, you’ll have to see our SHIELD mandated counselor and complete all assigned tasks. Once you get a clean billet of health, you’ll be allowed back.”

“This is bull-”

“Would you like to make it unpaid suspension instead of being relegated to off-active-duty?” Maria asked, eyebrow raised.

“Fine.” I snarled, and stormed out of her office.