“Fine, I admit it! I enjoy this okay! Are you happy now?”

“Fine, I admit it! I…” But you stop yourself, you didn’t finish the sentence. You realize what you were going to say. It felt like whiplash, you were about to admit you enjoy dressing like a girl. You were going to accept your fate and enjoy it.

But hearing yourself out loud made you feel a big shock. Your reality sinks in as your head feels scattered. Donna on the other hand was waiting for you to finish. “I??” She says wanting to hear you continue.

There's still a part of you that is still fighting. You were afraid and scared; you didn’t want to step into this new world. You got too close to breaking that barrier, but you find yourself back at square one.

“I hate this.” You say without thinking too much about it. Did you really have meaning behind those words? You don’t know and you don’t want to think too much about it. Donna on the other hand looks a tad bit pissed.

“Are you fucking serious Ash?” She says a bit disappointed. “Fine I see how it is, you don’t want to talk about it. Then I’m not going to talk to you until lunchtime.” She says with a huff. But her words ring hollow in your mind.

You stare blankly down at your desk. You stop thinking about it. Your mind felt empty and blank. You don’t have thoughts, that fear of it leading a stray. So, you sit there in silence until the lunch bell rings.

Your body automatically gets up and heads to lunch. Like a robot with no thoughts.