Rumors

“Dude, you okay?” Mike’s voice pulled me back into the present. Lost in thought again. It was a frequent occurrence these days. I was still unpacking Emma’s conversation the other day.

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah. Just have some things on my mind,” I said, shrugging his concern off. He narrowed his eyes at me and I knew he wasn’t going to let it go unless he had something more. “Thinking about the last session.” A lie, but good enough bait to throw him off the scent.

“What a clusterfuck.”

“Agreed.”

“Any word on why Emma was a no-show?”

“She said some family stuff came up last minute.”

Mike put a hand against his chest and exhaled. “Good.” I tilted my head in a silent question. “I’m always afraid Owen or Ben will chase her away.”

No idea how I pulled off a smile, but I managed. “They are pretty bad.”

“Ben isn’t terrible. At least not when Owen isn’t around encouraging things.” He didn’t look all that happy at saying that. “I suppose creepy is better than overt sexual harassment.” He sighed before running a hand through his hair. “I feel kinda bad about it, but I’m really looking forward to graduation and us all going our separate ways.”

“Ouch.”

“Not us. We have a plan, remember?”

I grinned. “Roommates!”

“Hell yeah! Fresh start somewhere new.” His smile widened. “Maybe we can luck into some girlfriends while we’re there.”

“Okay, let’s not get too crazy.”

He chuckled. “Nah, dude. I think we have a chance. I mean… Look at you. Complete wardrobe change, fresh looks… You know some of the girls in the hall are checking you out when you pass.”

I was shocked. It wasn’t surprising I hadn’t noticed. Beyond my own observation skills, my mind had been elsewhere. “What?”

“Seriously? Yeah man.” He frowned. “Wait… Unless you already have one…”

“Nope.”

Suspicion filled his eyes. “Come to think of it, you and Emma are pretty close. Always hanging out in the library. Doesn’t she stay behind after DnD? What do you two do?”

“First off, we are studying in the library,” I said. Technically, we still did, but most of it was just an excuse to hang out together. Most importantly, it was an excuse for her to give me more of her photos. “Secondly, you are more than welcome to stick around after the session and help us clean up.”

He thought for a moment. “I can if you want.” His thoughtful look shifted to a smile. “Something tells me you want me to leave early though.”

“I’m telling you; we aren’t like that.”

Yet.

Fuck you hope. Yeah, I’d been sucking down secondhand hope all day. One of the reasons I’d been out of it, daydreaming about what a relationship with Emma would look like. Not much different than now, I figured. She would still go out and have her fun. Tease me about it. Maybe a bit more snuggling? That would be nice. Maybe she would even let me touch her—

“Damn shame. She’s something else.”

“You’re telling me.”

He was silent for a moment, thinking. “Maybe after graduation we can keep things going? Do some summer sessions and stuff.”

“Drop Owen and Ben?”

“Read my mind.” He sighed. “I feel bad about it, but…”

“Ben isn’t all bad.”

“No, but he has gotten worse ever since Emma joined. Bless her heart. I can’t believe she’s lasted this long.” He looked uncomfortable. “Especially after the picture thing.”

Guilt got up behind me like a ninja with a grudge. “That was her idea.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. No idea why.” He looked at me like I had the answer. I mean, I did, but I wasn’t going to come out and say it. His discomfort grew as he glanced around. No idea why he was so paranoid. We were the only customers in the restaurant. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, but… Um… You know Emma the best. Do you think…” He looked around again. “The uh… rumors about her? Think they are true?”

“What brought this on?”

He looked at me like he couldn’t believe I asked that. “Haven’t you been checking Discord? It’s all Owen and Ben have talked about the last two days.”

“Been busy,” I grumbled.

“Somehow Owen heard from a ‘reliable source’ Emma will sleep with anyone. Anyone. No questions asked.”

It took a moment to fight down the anger I felt. After a calming breath or two, I picked my words carefully. “Does it matter?”

Mike’s eyes went wide, waggling his head back and forth. “N-no! Of course not. Probably bullshit anyway coming from him.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m curious. If the rumors were true, what then?”

“I…uh…um…”

“What I’m asking is, would it change anything?”

He jumped at that question, finally able to give me something resembling an answer. “I don’t know. I suppose it wouldn’t—or I would try to not let it change anything. Emma is a good person and she has helped me a lot.”

I was surprised by that. “How so?”

“Well… You know how I am. Especially around girls. I’m not saying I’m this super suave guy who will go out and have conversations, but it’s been a bit easier to talk to other people since she joined. I was partnered up with Claire in science a few weeks ago and I actually managed to have a halfway decent conversation with her. We even talked about things outside of group work and I wasn’t creepy and didn't say anything stupid.” He puffed his chest out. “Even managed to get her to laugh once or twice.”

I chuckled.

Shrugging, he continued. “I guess Emma helped me see that people are people—even the hot ones. Still terrifies me on some level, but it is a lot more manageable when I remember that.”

“Huh.” I had no idea. I was glad to hear it. My attention had always been so focused on Emma and her interactions with me, I never stopped to consider the effects she was having on the others. Though I wasn’t sure it was all positive now that I was thinking about it. Ben and Owen were negative. Trent… Sigh. Trent was Trent. I hated saying that, but it was true. The man had the presence of a tree in the forest. A stupidly beautiful tree, but a tree nonetheless.

Mike sighed heavily. “I feel kinda crappy now. I consider Emma a friend and I hope she does as well. Yet here I am, talking behind her back about stupid rumors—”

“It’s true.” He gave me a befuddled look. “Not sure about this specific one Owen is spouting, but I know you’ve heard the other ones. I’m not a fan of calling her a slut because of the negative connotations of it, but she does engage in casual sex with various people.”

He gaped at me, stunned into silence. It took him a good five seconds to recover from his shock. “Seriously?” I nodded. “And how do you know this?” he asked with a tone that suggested maybe there was something more to the story. Like me being one of those people involved with her.

“She told me.”

“Just like that?”

“Bit more complicated, but it came up.”

A long silence followed. “Isaac. Have you—”

“No.”

“Right.” Not sure he believed me, but he was willing to move beyond that. “I’m guessing it’s those guys she sits with at lunch? I remember them all being various degrees of good-looking.”

“I think so. Again, I’m not a hundred percent on things,” I said, bending the truth a bit. The silence continued on a bit. “You okay?”

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah. A bit surprising to hear.”

“If you had the opportunity, would you take it?”

Why the fuck did I ask that?

He opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Sitting back, he thought a bit. “I don’t know, man. She’s hot. Like, ridiculously hot. But she is also a friend—at least I consider her one. It would be awkward if that happened.” He looked down and I knew he was thinking of his size. “Besides, it’ll never happen. I’m not exactly the type of guy girl’s like her go for. I don’t have a boatload of sweet, sweet cash-money to fall back on,” he said with a teasing dig at me.

“Hey now, I’m in the same boat as you. Not like girls are throwing themselves at me.” Memories of the bowling alley taunted me as I pushed them aside.

“Yet,” he said with a smile to show he was messing with me. “Money has a wonderful way of lowering standards and you haven’t been using that to your advantage.”

“Because I don’t want that.”

“I know, I know. Messing with you, dude.” He knew how defensive I got when the money issue got brought up. It wasn’t my fault that my parents were better off than most and I did my best to not flaunt it like some other people did. An awkward silence settled over the table. “I kinda feel bad talking about her like we are.”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“I’m glad I know. It has been bugging me more than I’d like to admit. And we have my answer to your earlier question. Apparently, it doesn’t change much. It might if I wanted to date her or something—”

“You don’t?”

He shook his head. “Nah. Yeah, I had a crush on her before, but who didn’t? More I got to know her though… I like her, but she’s a bit… intense? I don’t know how to explain it. She’s a bit too open and outgoing for me. We live in worlds that move at different speeds.”

Thinking about what he said, I found myself nodding. “That makes sense.” Changes aside, Mike was always a quiet person. He wasn’t as far gone as Trent, but outside of special situations like sessions or hanging out with the group, he was a reserved person. Until recently, I had been right there with him.

I steered the conversation away from Emma and we dug into some Dungeons and Dragon things as I ran some plans of mine through him. He seemed thankful to get into more comfortable territory and I was glad as well. After we parted ways, I found myself thinking back.

Mike was a good guy. Always had been. His self-confidence issues were what was holding him back, and I was happy to hear Emma was helping with that in a round-about way. I felt a bit guilty I spilled the beans about Emma. That wasn’t really my place to tell him, but I’d been bottling this stuff up for so long… I needed to talk about it with a third party. Mike was always there and I was feeling a bit more confident about leaning on him for support. I hoped he felt the same way.

Then there was the elephant in the room. Me asking Mike if he would sleep with Emma if he had the chance. The more I thought about it, the more it fucked me up. It wasn’t like the reaction I had before when Emma hinted that it might be Mike in the video. It fucked me up because I didn’t have that reaction. If anything, it was the opposite. The idea of Mike, my best friend and quite possibly my only true friend, with Emma… It was a layered pain. Imagining my best friend having Emma before me, the guy who liked her, the guy she liked.

It was an intense hurt, but not necessarily a bad one.

Emma would love it.

Sitting alone in my room, I rested my face in my hands as I focused on breathing. Damn woman had awakened a monster inside me and I had no idea how to control it.