The two cougars on the prowl

Watching how the last two women are ogling all the men around the bar, you think they'll be the most likely to want to fuck tonight, so you grab your drink and make your way over to them.

"Hi ladies." you say as you approach their table.

"Hey there handsome." the blonde one responds. "What can we do for you?"

"Well, I was wondering if I could bribe the two of you with a couple of drinks to convince you to let me sit with you? See, I was supposed to meet up with a buddy of mine, but just got a text saying he's not going to make it, and I'd rather not sit by myself at the bar for the rest of the night." you tell them, slipping in a little lie in an attempt to garner some sympathy.

"I'm just about ready for another." the brunette says holding up her nearly empty glass and smiling at you.

"Me too." says the blonde, while making no attempt at hiding the fact that she's actively checking you out. "Want the same Lori?" she asks her friend, who nods "yes" in response, then turns back to you to inform you they're drinking Cosmos tonight.

Excusing yourself to return to the bar, you smile at their choice of drink. You see, a friend of yours is a bartender at a local restaurant, and he's always boasting about how he can accurately guess a woman's age within 3 years based on the mixed drink she orders; prefacing it with the statement that it only works with mixed drinks, not shots or beer. One night a year or two ago, you were hanging out at the bar when he was working, and you told him you finally wanted to see him prove his skill; it just so happens that the Cosmo was used as his first example. About five minutes later, a woman sat down several seats away from you and ordered a Cosmo from him. He makes his way over to you with a grin on his face saying "This is almost too easy. I kinda feel bad that this is the drink that I'm going to use to prove my superpowers, but she's between 48 and 51." he tells you with absolute confidence in his voice, then gets to work mixing the drink. As he brings the completed beverage to her you hear him say "I'm sorry, I forgot to ask you for ID, do you have one on you? Restaurant policy." he says in his defense. You see the woman smile at having to prove she's old enough to drink as she fishes through the clutch she had in her hand, then hands her ID to your buddy. He goes through the motions of looking at the license, thanking her, then handing it back to her before returning to you with the biggest, shit-eating grin on his face that you've ever seen, simply saying "49" when he returns to you. He then got into a whole spiel about the show "Sex and the City", what year it came out, the average age of the woman who started watching it, how that was the show that made the Cosmo popular, and how he would just add the average age to the number of years since it's aired together to come up with a current age. It was one of the slower nights at the restaurant, so he gave you several other examples, but only had the chance to prove it to you one other time that night. Truthfully, you thought you'd be pretty close with your guesses just by looking at the women, but you were enjoying the entertainment aspect and didn't feel like questioning him that night, but you feel like that age range might be pretty accurate with these two as well.

After getting the two drinks, you make you way back to the table, weaving your way through the bar that is starting to become a little more crowded. Setting the drink down in front of the brunette first, you say "Here's your drink, Lori I think I heard?" you ask, looking for confirmation.

"Why yes." she says, apparently surprised that you had actually paid enough attention to the earlier conversation to pick up on it.

"I'm David." you tell her, before turning to the blonde and handing her the other drink in your hand.

"Thank you David." she says taking the pink beverage from you. "I'm Darcy. Sit down, join us." she then tells you, motioning to the empty chair in front of you.

"So David," Lori, the brunette, says "Why were you and your buddy going to meet up at a bar like this? Isn't this crowd a little on the older side?" she asks, wondering how you'll answer.

"Well, I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but this bar has a reputation of being somewhere that people will go to if they're interested in just hooking up for the night." you tell her, not bothering to be subtle at all, figuring you shouldn't waste your time here if that's not what either of the women is looking for. "And I don't mind being around a little bit of an older crowd, there's usually not as much bullshit to deal with."

"Oh, we're aware of the reputation. We just wanted to make sure you were." Darcy joins in. "So, now that we all know we want the same thing, why don't you tell us a little about yourself." she finishes, taking another sip of her drink.

You give a speed-dating, life history and end with telling them how you're currently working as a Massage Therapist at a local spa while you finish up schooling to become a Physician's Assistant.

Lori and Darcy then tell you they are coworkers, are in pharmaceutical sales, and have worked with each other for more than twenty years. They proudly tell you how they started off at a time when only hot, younger women were hired, but even though they've aged and aren't as hot as they used to be, they've survived layoffs over the years because they know their shit and are good at what they do. You also find out that both are divorced, neither with kids, and that they usually like to go out for drinks and a "good time" a couple times a month.