A Goddess. Duh.

Reader found himself in a chapel of some sort. Before him stands a beautiful woman in white.

“Where am I? Is this heaven?” Reader asked.

“Greetings, Reader. I am Goddess,” said the woman.

“Goddess? As in, your name is Goddess?”

“It is,” said the woman, “but I am also a goddess.”

“A-am I dead?” Reader asked.

“Yes indeed. Your life on earth has come to an end.”

“Ahhh shit. I had important board meetings scheduled for tomorrow…” said Reader.

“Do not despair, for your soul has been chosen for reincarnation.”

“Reincarnation? I get to go back?”

“Unfortunately, you can never go back to earth. You can however be reincarnated anew in a completely different world.”

“What other world?” Reader asked.

“It would be a world which is very different from the one you have experienced. It is a world of wonder and enchantment. A place of beasts and magic. A world of…”

“Holy crap. Is this some isekai shit?” Asked Reader.

“I am unfamiliar with that term,” replied the Goddess.

“It’s something my shut-in son obsesses about. He loses all motivation to strive for anything in life and instead fantasizes daily that he would be whisked off to a fantasy world or whatever. Like Narnia or some shit.”

“Ah, yes,” the Goddess replied, “This is exactly like that.”

“Good lord. I can’t believe it is real. So I get superpowers or some shit right?” Reader asked.

“I’m sorry?”

“Well the way the trope goes, I usually get some sort of perk or cheat powers when I get reincarnated. I read about it on Wikipedia when I was trying to wrap my head around what my son finds so fascinating about this.”

The goddess blinked. “I’m sorry, but that is impossible.”

“So I don’t get like game powers or anything like that?” Reader asked.

The goddess shook her head solemnly. “Not for people from your world, I’m afraid. Allow me to explain. When a person from a world with superpowers get reincarnated, they will get superpowers in their next life. When a person from a rpg-game-like world gets reincarnated, they will get rpg-like perks in their next life. When a person from earth gets reincarnated…”

“We get nothing?” Reader asked.

“I wouldn’t say nothing,” the Goddess said, “At the very least, you’ll retain your memories and wisdom. But why would you be given something that you weren’t built for? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Yeah, I know right? Fucking nerd logic.”

“But worry not. There will be boundless opportunities for you to acquire powers in your new world, should you wish for it. However, they will not come easy or without cost. If you should receive power, it will be due to considerable effort or sacrifices on your part.”

“So people need to work to obtain great power or make great sacrifices for it? They don’t just get powers because of self-pity from being a social outcast or edgy about society’s expectations? LMAO. If my jobless, virgin, school-bullied son who was NTR’ed by his school friends by being the only one not invited to the after-prom gangbang finds out about this, it’ll break his little otaku heart,” replied Reader.

“Well, if you have no more questions, we should proceed with the reincarnation,” the Goddess said.

“Yeah alright,” Reader replied and sighed. “Well it’s true what they say I suppose. You can work all your life for money, but you can’t take it with you to the grave.”

The Goddess cocked her head and regarded Reader with interest. “You have money?” She asked.

“Well not anymore! Hahaha,” Reader replied, “My entire life’s work? Poof!. Gone just like that on a hiking trail.”

“But back on earth, you had money? How much?”

“Huh? Well my net worth was around 500 Billion dollars.”

The Goddess’s eyes nearly bugged out of her sockets. “That’s improbable. Even the richest man in your world…”

“Ah, don’t pay attention to those attention-whores who advertises themselves on Forbes magazine or any other ‘rich lists.’ The true richest people in my world keep their wealth a closely guarded secret. We live pretty low-key lives and even pay media outlets such as Forbes to keep us out of their lists.”

“Is that so?” The Goddess said, looking intrigued.

“Damn straight lady. You’re looking at the third richest person on earth… Well, third-richest back when I was alive, that is,” Reader said, “I fucking owned the entire mountain with the hiking trail that I died on.”

“Interesting,” replied the Goddess. “I actually might have a proposition for you. How would you like to convert your wealth to another form of currency which you can then use in your next world?”

“Oh, for real? What would you even want the money for?”

The Goddess blinked. “Shoes,” she said.

“S-shoes?” Reader asked.

“And handbags. And watches. And belts.”

“Uh…”

“And caviar. And truffles. And champagne. Gosssshhhh, those things are amazing!” The goddess said, growing flushed in the face.

“Oh wow. Do you do alot of shopping down on earth?” Reader asked.

“Oh yesss! And I don’t even have to visit earth for my fix anymore! Amazon is amazing!”

“Haha. I fingered Bezos’s wife once.”

“What’s a Bezos?” Asked the Goddess, “Can I buy one on Amazon?”

“LMAO. Never-mind,” Reader replied. “It’s a good deal, but I’m not sure if it can be done. Most of my wealth is tied up in stocks and other assets. And I never left a will either. So legally speaking, my son would be next in line to inherit all of it.”

“Oh, that’s no problem. I can tweak reality a bit so that it all comes to me.”

“Whoa. If that’s the case, why do you even need my money? You can easily inherit everyone’s money!”

“I have to observe some rules,” The Goddess said. “Basically, I am not allowed to create something out of nothing or take anything without consent.”

“I see,” Reader replied, “In that case, I definitely agree. Let me convert all of my wealth.”

“Would you like to leave some for your son?”

“Nah. Fuck that bitch. Cash out everything, babe. I’m gonna retire like a king in this other world.”

The Goddess nodded. “The currency is called Token. It is a meta-currency. The exchange rate is about 1 dollar to 3 tokens. Shall we ignore the trivial specifics and just swap your 500 Billion dollars for 1.5 Trillion tokens?”

Reader shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”

The Goddess nodded again. “Very well. It is done. I wish you luck in your next world. And try to have some fun, you old workaholic.”

“Oh I intend to,” Reader replied with a smile.