Doing the police work on an unlucky day

To say that the rest of the day did not go according to plan would be an understatement. It seemed as if fate wanted to prevent me from fully checking Bradford’s tale. First my car broke down. Sure, it is a police vehicle, so ultimately everything was taken care of and I got a new one, but it all took an awful lot of my precious time. Then everyone at the precinct had to participate in a “coaching” about the “Awareness of sexual harassement at workplace”. It was the modern bullshit that apparently cannot be avoided nowadays, even in the police. We all wasted an hour listening to the babbling of a woman who had never left the office and had no idea about real life, not to mention the police work. When in the end she asked whether we had any questions I raised my hand.

“My name is Detective COX,” I put the emphasis on my last name and the men in the room chuckled, “Lady, I came here hoping to be sexual harassed. Imagine my disappointment.”

The room burst out with laughter and I continued:

“I do feel as if my brain had been harassed for the last hour, but it did not turn me on in the least. I guess that I’ll need to rely on the boys to continue using their tested methods. Now if you’ll excuse me, some of us have real jobs to do and criminals to catch.”

I stood up and left. I was aware that I would have a conversation with the captain later, but I just had to vent my frustration. Plus I was fully aware that everyone in the room, including the captain, felt exactly the same and the woman was completely unaware of that. Plus as a woman myself I was immune to accusations of harassment, so I doubted there would be any serious consequences for my behaviour; talk about equal rights!

Ultimately through the day I managed to confirm some of Bradford’s tale, which was good, but I failed to dig deeper into it and did not learn about any of the missing elements. Before I left the precinct I was summoned into the Captain’s office. Anticipating the scolding I said:

“Captain, I’m sorry about the outburst. I know that it was inappropriate, but I just felt like I had to say out what everyone was feeling. I’m a woman, so they won’t accuse me of sexism, right?”

“What am I supposed to do about you, huh, Cox?”

“Tell them that you took the belt out of your pants, I bent over and then you spanked me.”

“Get outta here!” he couldn’t hold back a smile.

“Yessir!”

Now I could return to Bradford… and perform a striptease.