Unstable

It was with very weak legs I left the cave afterwards. Clara and Sophia were cleaning themselves up a bit, but didn’t in the least mind letting others know they had gone for the kill. I wasn’t even sure how they had managed to defeat me so soundly, so resolute. It was if I was suddenly demoted from an intimidating authority to a piece of meat swallowed up in its entirety all at once. To be honest I did feel degraded. It was at the time incredibly erotic and arousing, but it had left me with a strange aftertaste.

Pale and I didn’t even why, but I left for our own campsite, not able to talk to either of the women, while Clara and Sophia came out of their cave as if they saw, came and won in one fierce deadly strike. Yes, Kylie had warned me about their determination, about the possibility they would be able to sweep me off my feet, but I hadn’t imagined this.

I half ran, half stumbled into my cave. Images from their devastating attack on my dignity kept coming, but were oddly enough replaced with other memory flashes. Memories from before the war, before I had even met the others, before I had even moved to my village.

Oh-oh... this wasn’t good. Not good at all.

I thought I had buried those memories for good. But some of them were merely returning from their long slumber in the very deep ends of my mind.

I stumbled back out of the cave, just in time to puke, as if that was the way expulse the returning flashes. I saw Kylie running towards me, with a deeply concerned look on her face.

“Oh no, the moment I saw you starting to run, I knew something bad was amiss.” She said holding me up.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I said, rather aggressively.

“I know you don’t want to, and you don’t need to.” She replied softly, handing me a bottle of water to rinse my mouth.

She supported me going back into our cave, took off my shoes and pants very gently while I leaned against the wall and guided me to bed. I lay on my side and she laid herself behind me, holding me very tight.

For a very long time we didn’t talk. She let me calm down and said:

“Sleep now. I’ll come back later.”

“Thank you for helping me.” I replied.

“I love you.”

I fell asleep. Uneasy.

It was only after a long time I heard about the conversation Kylie, Kate and Kara had with Clara and Sophia after I fell asleep that evening.

Coming out of the cave, Clara and Sophia were very pleased with themselves, but when they saw Kylie starting to run after me, they became very confused. Both Kara and Kate fended off questions why something would be wrong with me and asked to wait for Kylie’s return.

When she did, she ordered all of them to a secluded place, where they could talk in peace, while the rest was ordered to dig further.

Trying to calm herself, clearly angry, she was silent for a while, trying to gather her thoughts.

“Right,” she sighed deeply. “What happened in the cave? Don’t leave out details.” She asked Sophia.

“We seduced him. Slowly at first. Subtle at first. He barely reacted to both of our obvious approaches. He looked a bit flustered. Evasive at times, but was clearly taken in with our advances. We thought he would say something, take the hints we were throwing him. But he didn’t at all. He kept on digging, but he didn’t leave us. So we thought since he didn’t want to take the initiative himself, he wanted us to keep the initiative.

We had talked about it before, how we would try to persuade him. Together. From experience I knew a good sloppy blowjob would do it. A very good deep blowjob. I knew I couldn’t do it alone, so Clara would have to assist me. And we did. He came after a while. Was completely out of it. We said it was fun. That it pleased us he finally had surrendered to our advances. Then we dressed up a bit. He stood up, couldn’t say a word. We thought he was impressed with us beyond words. And while we cleaned up he left still clearly shaken. We laughed a bit and them came out ourselves.”

Kate, Kylie and Kara were silent for quite a while after that explanation.

Slowly tears were forming in Kara’s eyes. “Oh no...”

“We should have interfered...” Kate whispered.

“We didn’t know they would be that careless... That reckless.” Kylie replied.

“What? What did we do wrong?” Clara exclaimed, not understanding any of it.

“First of all, your seduction was way too brutal. We thought you would be subtle, tease him, ease him into it. Perhaps with some showing skin, then some kissing, some touching.” Kylie said.

“But not with an assisted throat-job even after he was evasive.” Kara continued.

“You could have kept the initiative if you had left him an opening to get out for a while.” Kate looked very sad.

“But you left him **** at all. And then, afterwards, you really, really fucked up.” Kara was getting angry.

“You barely cared for him after he was out of it. You left him there sitting. Then you said you had your fun. Like you had what you wanted. Then you said he had surrendered. Like he chose for it, or had **** in the matter after all. And then worst of all, when he didn’t say a word while leaving...” Kate was tearing up.

“You laughed at what you had succeeded to do.” Kara again, repulsed.

“I still don’t understand...” Sophia asked.

“Okay, this may seem an odd comparison, but imagine this: In a cave there was a woman helping two men to dig an extra room. The woman was attracted to the men, and liked them very much. The men knew that, liked the woman too, but had decided they would try to seduce her to persuade her to really go for them. First they tried it subtly, with showing some skin, then a bit of touching, innocent at first, but then more determined. Because she wasn’t reacting the way they expected. They decided to up their game. The woman was very evasive, a bit flustered about the attention she was receiving from the attractive men. The men tried to make her come. They succeeded at that. But after that, they left the woman out of it, didn’t care at all, said they had their fun, that they were pleased she finally surrendered to their advances. They started dressing themselves to look a bit presentable again. The woman stood up, didn’t say a word, left the cave but before she left she heard the men laughing.” Kylie’s comparison was very aptly describing the events in the cave.

This time Sophia and Clara had no doubt understanding. The color was completely drained out of their faces.

“But Alex is a...” Sophia tried, but was cut off by Kylie.

“Yes, Alex is a man. Yes, he was attracted to you. Yes, he cared for you. Yes, he can be very strong. But you hurt him in such a degrading way he is now completely devastated. When I got to him he was puking his guts out. I had to help him get into bed to calm him down, to get him to sleep.”

“Alex is a man, but he is not a normal man. He will be strong for you, protect you at all cost and give his love away freely. But he has trouble with taking initiative with women. He is sometimes scared with too much intimacy. He has improved a lot with us three. He felt a lot less miserable. He tried very hard to please us. He started taking the initiative without losing control, without losing sight of the consequences should he lose control. He kept being attentive to our needs at every moment.”

“But now...” She sighed sadly. “I fear he has become unstable. It will take a long time to get him back again.”

“You may have won his affection before you acted so carelessly. But you lost it now. And I am not sure you will be able to regain it. And the problem is, you now have to regain it. Otherwise he will spiral out of control. He can’t leave us, purely out of his deep sense of duty to keep us safe. It is engrained into him. He will suffer immensely. Every time he will see the two of you now, he will have a bad taste in his mouth. But he can’t leave you because he made a commitment to protect you and protect this area. To make sure he can do that, he will try to erase all feelings he has, just to stay afloat. It will damage him.”

“How do you know so much about him?”

“Because that is what survivors do. They care deeply for others, they will protect, but when hurt again, they will try to limit the damage from renewed trauma.”

“He has been traumatized by...?”

“Alex will not talk about it. For a long time he had even forgotten about it, until you two. I had warned him you two would be very determined, but I had never expected you to act like you did. After all, we all three knew from the start we would have to take things slow. We overestimated you because we had no problem understanding him, even if he didn’t understand himself. It looks like we have made a grave miscalculation as well.”

“So how do we make it up?” Clara was crying now.

“Start by making yourself invisible in his presence. No more teasing, no more dropping hints, nothing at all. Don’t mention what you did. Do your jobs efficiently by taking as much work as you can from his hands. His intention with this squad was to be able to protect you, but then it evolved in making you able to protect this area. So, instead of him guiding you into it, you will have to take the initiative now in that area. If you don’t know how, we will offer advice. You will make sure your team is cared for. We’ll split our operations for now. We will take care of Alex, you will take care of the region as best as you can.”

“We will.” Sophia promised.