Jason accidentally makes Plant on Clown porn

Written in collaboration with Shadowmage

I headed out of the bathroom after a ridiculously long shower. I grit my teeth at the sight of all the steam that flooded the hallway when I opened the bathroom door. I grabbed a pair of boxers from the hamper next to the bathroom door and threw my towel around my neck. I was a lot better now, still pretty horny but much less ****.

In fact, I think I’m in good enough condition for a “friend” to come over.

I grabbed my phone from the table and sat down once again. Bette Kane? Nah, after last time we talked I doubt she wants much to do with me. I kept scrolling until I saw another name that ushered pleasant memories. Donna Troy. I opened the contact and started texting.

Hey Donna, if you’re on the mainland feel like hanging out?

I waited for a minute or two, turning to TV on while I checked through my phone. After about ten minutes it pinged. Donna replied.

Good to hear you’re still alive Jason! Hanging at Thems rn, but I do wanna catch up! Xx

Shit. Eh, I can always find fun somewhere else. It’s not too late, I could hit a club or something. I stood up but quickly fired a response to Donna.

Aw, shame. Been missing you ;) I’ll hold you to catching up!

Stretching out the last of the kinks in my back I thought I may as well just head to the club. I could have a fun night ahead of me, nothing wrong with a little post-work stress relief. Jerking off on a plant was one thing but if I just kept doing that I think people would think I’m strange.

I was going to throw my phone onto the couch and head to my room to get ready, but instead I saw a pop-up from my Twitter app. I actively try to ignore those usually, but this time it had something about ‘Red Hood’ just clipped out so I felt like I had to click on it.

10K hearts, 40K Retweets.

A picture of Harley Quinn, Ivy, Catwoman… and me. Hanging upside down when I was still dazed. The caption ‘Shoulda kept bird-boy in the nest Bats!’ overlaying the image.

“FUCK!” I swore, throwing my phone down and stomping away to hopefully still make something of my night. But not before once more yelling out, “FUCK HARLEY QUINN! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!”

“Hey, Red?” Asked the dangling woman from a vine. “Uhh, was I jumping on the bed too loud again? You don’t need to drag me in here using your plants, I’ll stop, I promise.”

Her flatmate was getting annoyed at the amount of words coming out of this woman’s mouth. “Harley.” She panted. The vine suddenly dropped Harley onto the bed flower, causing her to yelp in surprise. A yelp that was quickly squashed by a naked green rear landing on top of her. “Shut up and lick.”

If Harley could talk she might have said ‘Ives! You’re finally accepting my advances! I knew my seductive qualities would win you over one day!’ but instead the only words from her mouth was a muffled ‘Mmfffmfasffsfslllrrpppfsffmfmmmpppp!!!’. Ivy just squeezed down harder on top of the jabbering face. Her chlorophyll leaking messily around the woman’s makeup. Harley got the message pretty quickly and began eating as hungrily as a clown could a plant.

Ivy was less focused on her own pleasure this time. Harley was damn good with her tongue (which was not surprising considering how much she talks), but right now Ivy had one goal: Fuck Harley. There wasn’t anything going to stop her. This woman had to be ravaged, destroyed, utterly broken.

The vines that had brought Harley to her room were now wrapping around her arms and legs, spreading her wide on the bed. Luckily there was minimal resistance, probably because this was a regular fantasy for the ex-Joker henchman, so Ivy could wrap her plants further ensnaring her. The oddly shaped bulbs scraping along sensitive skin, teasing her well, giving the bleached white woman goosebumps along her legs and stomach. Ivy didn’t want to hurt Harley, but she did need to get fucked. Plants ripped open the clown’s booty shorts without any hesitation. She could hear a squeak between her legs but just sat further down on top of the woman to keep her silent and busy.

Green and red bulbs started plugging into the woman’s various holes. Penetrating her slowly, enough for Harley to really start shaking in pleasure or fear, neither emotion really mattered when getting fucked though. Ivy was pinching and stroking Harley’s clit though, making sure there was a lot of natural lubrication for the vines to do their job. The green woman wanted to believe this was to make her friend feel good while being fucked, but the other part knew this was just to make the vine’s job easier.

In and out, twisting and pinching, drilling holes to heavens above. These were the thoughts and feelings Harley Quinn was experiencing. The inside of her cunt felt so good. Ivy had complete control over her vines and she apparently knew how to use them to pleasure a country gal like her. Weird scrapes and ribbed vines were travelling into both her pussy and asshole, squeezing together inside Harley like they had a mind of their own. Spinning their bulbs ever so gently to give a far more unique experience then any cock or dildo that had travelled up there previously.

Why Ivy had suddenly given in was not a thought she cared about. Right now, her crush had mounted her with minimal prompting and was now assaulting her crotch with goddamn plant tentacles! ‘So this is why so many Hentais use em! You get to feel the pleasure of a BDSM fuck, while they can reach even further in than Mr J ever did!’ She thought to herself, loving the feelings bubbling up from below especially with Ivy helping them along. ‘Plus this green pussy tastes fucking great! Who knew she’d leak literal sap! I love my new tree girlfriend, I hope she lets me water her every night now!’

Harley’s tongue reached as far into Ivy as she could reach it. Trying to emulate the rocking feelings that were coming from her own pussy. Pamela was certainly feeling it too, not surprised at the dexterity on display from the acrobat’s tongue. It also felt strangely hot that she could feel the clown’s nose close to her ass. Just a byproduct of sitting so squarely on her face, but also meant that her friend could taste and smell everything down there.

Thankfully their position didn’t last forever. Harley’s trapped mouth and nose were starting to become hard to breathe, which was exactly how she liked to orgasm anyway, so when the vines started picking up speed and scraping even higher to prod her cervix… well, Harley was cumming like a shotgun. Powerful, messy, and spread shot of liquid. In the heat of the moment, Ivy had shared in the orgasm if only slightly. A lovely thrill passing through the green woman as her friend quivered and moaned under her.

Once more the pounding demand in Ivy’s head was satisfied. Harley had been fucked, that much was obvious.

But now she had to deal with the aftermath.

“IVY! That was so fucking hot! Let me go get my dildo collection and we can keep this party goin! You’re gonna love Stevie! He’s got the same weird spiky bit at the end your vine had!”