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"Who the FUCK are you?" your host screams as both you and Harley climb in through her open window "And what the FUCK are you doing in my home?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down there, Red" Harley says as the women on the sofa pulls the pillow from behind her and tries to cover herself up "I am Harley Quinn and this is my erstwhile partner Cockzilla...hmmm, not bad...and what we're doing in your home is being invited, remember? 'Are you going to spend all day just watching me? Or are you going to join in?' Your words, sweetheart, not mine."

"But...but.." the redhead on the sofa looks more confused than angry now "But those words weren't for you. They were for someone else..." she says, allowing her voice to trail off.

"Well" you pipe up "There wasn't anyone else out there, just me and Harley here."

A flush comes to the redheads cheeks "So...you saw everything?"

"The whole enchilada" Harley smiles "And I've gotta say, Red, you sure know how to put on a hell of a show."

The woman buries her face in the cushion in front of her, all of her initial rage now replaced by utter embarrassment.

"Oh God" she murmurs into the pillow before raising her face up again, "That really wasn't meant for you. I thought you were him. He's always out there whenever I wake up every morning and I..." she trails off again.

"Like to put on a show?" Harley offers with a chuckle.

"Yes" the redhead admits, sheepishly, before her embarrassment gives way to indignation "Wait a minute. if he wasn't out there and you were, what have you done to him?"

"Done to who?" you ask.

"Spiderman! What have you done to Peter!" she yells, jumping off the couch and pointing an accusing finger at the pair of you.

"Alright, cool your jets, hotshot" Harley says with a raised hand. "We've done nothing to this...Spiderman, was it?"

"Oh yes you have!" the woman screams back "Look at you! It's obvious you're both villains! Look at how you're dressed! And what kind of law abiding citizen sneaks around on other people's fire escapes?"

You can see that Harley is getting angry and to save this gorgeous piece of ass from a beating that would probably result in her ****, you step in.

"Look, lady" you begin, getting in between the two and hoping that your adventures together will stop Harley from mowing you down to get to her target "There was nobody out there. No one at all. And besides, we've never even heard of this Spiderman before." The redhead looks perplexed, almost as if she doesn't believe you. "Isn't that right, Harley?"

You look at your colleague who has a quizzical expression on her face.

"Spiderman? What the hell is a Spiderman? Is he a spider who thinks he's a man, or a man who thinks he's a spider? Ugh, that makes my brain hurt, I think I need to sit down." And she does, brushing past the woman and collapsing on the couch.

"Never heard of Spiderman?" the redhead replies "That can't be possible, can it? New York's greatest Superhero? Old Web Head? He does whatever a spider can?"

Both you and Harley look at her and shake your heads 'No' in unison. Seeing that you are both telling the truth, the woman sits next to Harley, looking very confused.

"Then if he really wasn't out there, and you've done nothing to him, where the hell is he?" she ponders.

"Oh, Red" Harley says, placing a hand on her knee "Do we have a story for you."