The impaler

The largest object in the box on a single dimension was also the shiniest, a dildo. This wasn't exactly a normal dildo, though. The length was a over 18", though not all of that was intended to be inserted, of course. The insertable end was about a foot long of rubber coated rod, and the other end was built to telescope to a custom height from the base, which mounted securely into a sturdy 2' wide base that weighed more than everything else in the box put together.

It was devious. The phallic tip would extend inside and lock in place, and there was no way, even with hands free, for the impaled to free themselves. They couldn't bend enough to retract the dildo. The height would make it impossible to lift off, and the width and weight of the base meant it was impossible to move with it to get access to anything else.

The most devious part of the device, though, was that it contained a vibrator. That massive heavy base was a battery pack. It could be controlled by a small remote to intensities so low they could barely be felt up to ones so strong they put a magic wand to shame, with programmable patterns and harmonic multi-vibration to boot.