There’s a knock at the door

“Open up kid. I know you’re in there!” You hear from your apartment door. It’s your landlord. You’re a couple months behind on rent. You try to stay quiet so that he leaves until you start to hear keys jiggling and suddenly the door opens.

“See, I knew you were in there” he says before he looks up at you. “Holy mother of god!” He yells.

Your landlord is a middle aged white guy. Looks like he was probably in pretty good shape before but now has a bit of a beer belly. He’s a nice guy and lets you pay rent a little later but 3 months late is too much for him. He’s bald with blue eyes. He and his wife live upstairs in one of the units. She’s a bitch to you every time you see her and you also see her yelling at him all the time.

His eyes and jaw are wide open as he stares at you. “And… and… and… you are?” He stutters before he closes the door behind him to give you some privacy.