Things Start to Go Better

“Tim?” Vanessa asked from her seat in the booth, “Is everything alright?”

Tim realized that he was just standing in the middle of the bar while is date was left alone. He turned and smiled, wanting to reassure Vanessa, wanting her not to think that anything strange had happened. Looking down, he realized that he held two drinks in his hands, one for each of them.

“I hope you’re thirsty,” he said playfully as he sat down and slid the wine glass toward his girlfriend’s mother and watched her ring it to her lips. It was then that Tim knew the trade had worked.

Tim wanted Vanessa. More than that. Tim was going to get Vanessa. She was incredible, and if he screwed this up, or worse, didn’t try, he would blame himself for a long time. Someone like Vanessa was exactly what he needed in his life; she was beautiful, engaging, and successful, the type of woman that would have been far out of his reach before the intervention of Old Lady Justice, but now was a perfect fit.

“I think,” Tim said after taking a swig of his beer, “that this thing with Nancy might have just been an excuse.”

“Pardon me?” Vanessa asked.

“It’s okay, I can play along, especially when she’s around,” Tim leaned forward and took her hand in his, “but you and I know the truth.”

“And what might the truth be?” Vanessa questioned, her cheeks turning red.

“That you wanted me the moment you saw me,” Tim squeezed her hand, “and I wanted you right back. You have everything you ever wanted in life except for someone like me. Well here I am.”

The red in her cheeks intensified. Was it working? Tim’s confidence had completely changed. He felt like he could do anything, and even if he couldn’t, he would be better for trying. It was an entirely different way of seeing the world, and he liked it. The poor guy who he had traded with must be in a much worse position.

Vanessa seemed to be processing what he said, so Tim ventures a quick glance over to where the man had been at the bar. There was still a man there, but he was different. No longer was he flirting with the younger woman. Instead he was staring intensely into a glass of amber liquid. But that wasn’t the biggest change. His hairstyle, still salt-and-pepper, was exactly the same, but the rest of him? Hairy as hell.

The man had thick tufts of hair the seemed to be climbing his neck up the back of his shirt. His arms looked almost furry. His face had thick five o’clock shadow.

Tim looked down at his own arms. Completely hairless. Raising his free hand, he could feel that his cheek was completely devoid of whiskers. And rubbing his legs together found the same thing. He had traded away all his body hair!

“You’re not wrong,” Vanessa finally responded in a small voice, “I’d never felt that way about one of Nancy’s boyfriends before, so I didn’t want to admit it to myself. But now that we are out together,” she paused, brought her other hand up to join her first in holding Tim’s, “there’s no sense in denying it.”

“I agree,” he pushed the thoughts of hair from his mind, “we want the same thing. Each other. So let’s not beat around the bush.”

“What do you have in mind?”

Tim leaned across the table and kissed his girlfriend’s mother on the lips, which she seemed to appreciate very much. It was a soft kiss, gentle but not weak. They drank of each other for the first time, the taste of their lipsticks touching the tongues of their partners, the temptation to allow the flame of passion overwhelm them with every second they continued.

It was Tim that pulled away, leaving Vanessa panting, eyes closed. He watched her savour the moment, a woman discovering her fire for the first time in far too long.

“Perhaps we’ve had enough to drink,” he said, “and we should find somewhere a bit more private to get to know one another.”

“Tim!” She gasped, “you’re a scoundrel!”

“Not a scoundrel,” he replied, “I just know what I want, and she’s sitting right across from me.”