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Chapter 8 by Gatsha Gatsha

Thinking time! My introduction sucked so should I just shrivel up like a raisin and die of embarrassment?

My introduction will be okay if the others suck, too!

Should I try and control everyone and wrangle them into letting me introduce myself again? It was probably pointless if I couldn't even imagine myself giving a good introduction... In spite of my supposedly awesome power, with the eyes of all these talented women on me, I felt like the odd one out. Was there anyone who'd trip up as bad as me?

... That's it! It hit me. I couldn't imagine myself giving a good introduction, but everyone has an off day, right? I could easily imagine the others tripping up in their introductions. I tried to apply my focus to make sure it happened.

The teacher clapped her hands together. "Well, I'm sure Minnie wants to get to know the rest of you! Class, let's go around and introduce yourself. Make sure to include one really interesting fact about yourself," she added. "This is your chance to show Minnie why you're an amazing person to get to know! Since we started with our newest student, let's work forward from there. That would ordinarily begin with Junko Enoshima... but since she's, um, absent today, Regina, would you like to introduce yourself?"

I now realized the empty desk Regina had taken in front of mine must have been where Junko was supposed to sit. The ring spirit sitting there now, who seemed to have one of her bare feet out of its sock, was inspecting her toenails. She glanced up. "Nah, I'll pass. Minnie and I already know each other."

"Fair enough," the teacher immediately agreed. "Next, please!"

The woman sitting in the next desk away from me besides Regina stood up, forcefully pushing her chair back. With dark, short bobbed hair, a plain, freckled face, and a relatively unadorned school uniform with a short-sleeved white dress shirt, grey tie, grey skirt, and grey socks, this one seemed to have missed the memo about how people were supposed to dress in this school. Still, in spite of her wardrobe's lack of color, the anger burning in her gloomy pale grey eyes, along with her tight, fit body, left an impression. "Mukuro Ikusaba. I'm the Ultimate Soldier. This has been bothering me, but Minnie, why is your friend sitting in my sister's desk?"

The teacher looked confused. "That's Regina's desk, right?" She asked as though it were obvious, despite the fact that she'd just called it Junko's a moment earlier.

Mukuro gave up immediately as though she'd lost the argument, but she still didn't look happy. "Whatever. Don't even think about getting close to my sister, whoever you are. If you do, I'll show you real despair." The soldier scratched her chair back across the floor and sat down for less than a second before rising to her feet again. "The tattoo on my hand is from the mercenary group I was part of," she added, showing off an intimidating full-black design that covered most of her right hand. "I thought about getting another one to balance it out, but I can't tell if my sister would like it and I'm too afraid to ask, so..." She paused for a moment, looking at me as though I should (for any reason) have advice for her on her hand tattoo. Then, she sat back down sullenly, muttering too low for me to hear.

The teacher clapped slowly as though she was having to decide if she liked that or not. "Very good, Mukuro... I appreciate the detail, but let's keep it moving a little faster for the next ones, okay? We are in the middle of a lesson, after all. Next!"

"Aoi Asahina, the Ultimate Swimming Pro!" Although she wasn't tall, she had a curvy figure with yet another incredible pair on her. I was beginning to understand that what I'd initially taken as a "strike zone" for me was really just me going loopy for anybody who had huge boobs... She had tan skin, brown hair in a curly high ponytail, and big blue eyes. She was dressed in a red tracksuit top, unzipped far enough for me to see the white tank top beneath, and blue running shorts along with knee-highs and sneakers. "Don't worry about Mukuro, I'm sure we're all gonna be great friends! My friends call me Hina, so you can too, all right? Anyone who loves donuts is good in my book!"

"I never said I like donuts. I guess they're okay-" I commented inaudibly.

"So, if you wanna hear a cool fact about me, I recently had to buy a new swimsuit because I found out the old one didn't fit me anymore. I think my butt might be getting fatter since I haven't had as many chances to train lately!" She finished her statement, again pausing as if I should have some comment about that. I thought about telling her that her ass looked great and not to worry about it, but she quickly turned around with a red face. Obviously, she was wondering why she'd said that in front of the class.

"Next!" The teacher chirped again, trying to save Aoi from her predicament... Or was it Hina...? I wasn't sure what I'd be calling her yet.

The woman who stood up next... I hadn't been sure if she was just a lookalike before she turned around, but once she did, my jaw dropped open. I recognized her before she spoke. She had long, sweeping dark blue hair, a slim figure and pale skin, and round, lined eyes. In other words, just like she looked on TV and in magazines, but in real life! "I'm Sayaka Maizono... They call me the Ultimate Pop Sensation, although I wish you wouldn't, okay? While I'm in here, it'll make me comfortable if you treated me like everyone else." I thought to myself that sounded haughty at first, but then I realized she was probably used to people kowtowing to her at first meeting and just chose to cut it off at the knees. She was wearing a relatively plain uniform, like a Japanese serafuku with a huge pink bow, teal plaid skirt, tall dark thigh-high socks. Seeing that kind of absolute territory on a woman with thighs like hers in person felt like a dream... "I hope we'll get along, although I'm not sure how often we'll get to interact. An interesting thing about me is that my social life gets a little crippled, because I'm always thinking and planning for my idol group, even in class... I was so tired from last night's performance, I was drooling on the desk before you arrived."

"And in the front row, too!" the teacher said with a sunny smile as she picked up a piece of chalk. "But I'll forgive you, since you're wide awake now."

Sayaka looked shocked, although she was looking at me and not the teacher. She dabbed at the corner of her mouth with her sleeve as though being triple-sure nothing was there. "I... don't know what I'm saying, but just to be clear, I was using that as an expression, you understand, everyone?" She looked around at the class with a big smile, rolling her eyes to help along how ridiculous the point was. "A pop idol would never drool-"

"Okay, moving on!" The teacher clapped her hands again. "Next, at the back of the middle row."

Kaede stood up next to me. It seemed like everyone else tripping over their introductions had succeeded in letting her regain her poise. "Well, we've already met, but in case you forgot... I'm Kaede Akamatsu, the Ultimate Pianist, and our class representative. I'll do everything I can to help you adjust to the classroom as your next-seat buddy." She gave me a big smile and an energetic pump of her fists, then sat down with a satisfied smile, undoubtedly pleased that her own introduction had gone so much better than the others... for only a second before immediately standing up again. "I really do find you very interesting! It's kind of exciting sitting next to someone with this strange mix of cute shyness and weird pervyness you have going on, and I'm a little interested to see if I'll catch you staring at mine, too."

Well, this was my karmic retribution. "Staring at your what?" I asked her, hoping my red face pressed against the desk would clue her in that question was a signal to her and not for her to answer.

"My buh-" she began, clapping her hands over her mouth and looking around the classroom with huge eyes. She looked at me hard for a moment, but since I wasn't being any help, she acted like she'd been clearing her throat. "Ahah... Haha! Well, Minnie and I already have this kind of, uh, friendly, teasing back-and-forth, so I'm sure you can all tell she'll be really easy to get along with! I hope you get along with everyone Minnie," she spat out the last words in a single breath while keeping her calmest smile plastered on and taking her seat again.

Another clap. Another "Next!"

The petite woman in front of Kaede's desk didn't rise. "I can do mine sitting down, right? Nyeh..."

"I'll allow it if you give it your all, Himiko!" the teacher declared. "And if you hurry."

"Sure thing. I'm Himiko Yumeno, the Ultimate Mage, nyeh. I'm on the books as the Ultimate Magician, but that's just to hide my power." The student turned her pale, sleepy, young-looking face back to me while still resting her elbows on her desk. Her straight bob of red hair was almost obscured by a big witch's hat on her head. She wore a normal enough black blazer, red skirt, and dark tights, although her pointed-toed boots cemented her weird fashion sense. She gave me a funny smile. "For me to share such valuable secret information with you, it's like we're already friends, right? So I already did enough work, let me go back to sleep, nyeh..." She closed her eyes for a moment as though nodding off, before peeking back at me again. "Also, my boobs are like the smallest in the school. I'm self conscious about it, but that also means I don't think a boob-lover like you will care about me, nyeh. So just let me sleep..."

"Boob lover?!" I shouted reflexively. "D-did you hear that earlier after all? Is this gonna be my reputation?"

"I'm not an idiot, nyeh... I can read context clues," Himiko muttered, seeming on her way to sleep again before her eyes suddenly shot open. "Waitaminute! Why are we talking about my boobs, anyway?!"

The woman in the desk in front of her who'd been glaring daggers at me suddenly rose to her feet. "I'm Tenko Chabashira, the Ultimate Aikido Master! If it's breasts you're after, you should use mine and leave Himiko's body alone!" The loud, offended student was athletic, with dark grey hair held in two low ponytails with pinwheel-like ribbons and a purple headband. She wore a long-sleeved faded blue serafuku uniform with white accents that seemed a size too small for her, and which overall seemed a bit too cutesy and frilly for her intensity. She was also wearing socks and sandals... Her fair skin and muscular build were attractive in spite of her strange introduction, though, and her breasts were no joke, either.

I realized I was staring at her and that I was waiting for something. There'd been a pattern by now where each woman introducing themselves had said something embarrassing, then reacted when they realized what they'd done. As I waited for Tenko's, her flush never came. Maybe she was just... actually bad at introducing herself?

"I can see you're interested! Very well." Tenko continued to watch me with intense eyes, but covered her mouth to hide her expression. "If it's to protect Himiko, I'll-"

"Nobody asked you for that, nyeh," Himiko muttered, burying her face in her arms.

The teacher cleared her throat. "Finish your introduction, please, Tenko."

"Hmph!" The martial artist struck a stance, still focusing all of her intensity on me. "I'll have you know I'm the foremost practitioner of my self-developed Neo-Aikido, designed to take down perverts! I've never used it on a woman in self-defense before, but I've always fantasized about what it'd be like to lock up with a cute female pervert in a situation like that, so come at me if you dare!" Faster than the others, she suddenly went bug-eyed and recoiled on her feet with a loud yell. "Bwaaah?! What am I saying? Is this some kind of sorcery?!"

"Please discuss that with Himiko outside of class!" the teacher hurried her along. "Next, please."

The next one to rise was the a tall, tan-skinned woman with long brown hair and a bodacious muscular body crammed into a half-buttoned short-sleeved dress shirt and almost-too-small red skirt, with no other visible accessories (including a lack of any socks above her white loafers). She pointed a thumb at herself and grinned. "The name's Akane Owari, the Ultimate Gymnast! Forget about that and class, though. Be honest: you're a tough woman, aintcha?"

I shrunk back in my seat, unsure of where this was going. "Tough?"

"Yeah, like there's some muscles under that shabby stuff you wear. Or like... There's somethin' weird about you. Somethin' dangerous. I smelled it since ya walked in," she added, beginning to walk towards me. "How about you and I go a round?"

"I'm just a circus performer!" I assured her, shrinking further away and downplaying my managerial role I was usually proud of.

The teacher clapped her hands again. I thought to myself it was amazing she could control the pack of students I'd met up until this point. "Now now, no fighting or challenging to fights in the classroom, please. Finish your introduction."

"Okay, but I don't have any embarrassing story to share," Akane muttered, scratching the back of her head. "I guess that's something I'm embarrassed about?"

"Um, your story doesn't have to be embarrassing," the teacher reminded her, although she didn't sound sure of it herself. "It's supposed to be interesting... right? W-well, anyway... Chiaki, why don't you go ahead?"

As Akane walked back to her seat, still watching me as though I was going to try and sneak attack her, the next woman at the front of the class stood up. I saw that, unexpectedly, this student had been playing a handheld video game in spite of her position at the front of the middle row... and she'd been playing it throughout all of the introductions... and she was still playing it without even watching the screen as she'd turned around to introduce herself! She was another pale, busty cutie with short, curling pale mauve hair and pink eyes, a look that reminded me of an especially sleepy rabbit. She wore a dark, slightly oversized hooded cardigan over a white button-up and beige skirt as a uniform, with tall dark socks and pink shoes. She looked as tired as Himiko did, but I respected that she'd at least risen to greet me... mostly because I was respecting her knockout thighs. "Hi... I'm Chiaki Nanami, the Ultimate Gamer. I like all types of games, so I'm sure we'll get along... probably." She placed one hand on her desk, leaned back on it, then tilted her head quizzically. "Oh, right... You wanted an interesting fact, didn't you? Well... I like all types of games, but... I can't get into eroge. I don't get romantic protagonists." She sat down facing away from me again, looking back at her video game. "So I get my stimulation from other places, besides my hobby... I guess."

"Okay, that one was not so bad..." the teacher muttered, probably forgetting that anyone was listening to her. "Next please!"

"Hiyoko Saionji, the Ultimate Traditional Dancer." The one who'd quickly piped up at the desk in the back next to Kaede's was short, slight, but still relatively filled-out, cutting a nice figure in an orange kimono. She had blonde ponytails in the shape of moons behind her head and a young-looking face: it looked cute, but not especially friendly. "Hey, if we're talking about a pervert, maybe Miu should go instead of me? I think she's better suited to be your friend anyway, Minnie!"

The woman in front of her started to complain, but the teacher cut her off. "Please, just finish your introduction, Hiyoko."

"Is there really any point in me introducing myself to a circus freak?" Hiyoko muttered way too loudly for me not to hear. "Aaanyway, the cool fact about me is that I got lucky and filled out just recently, so I don't have to talk about my bug bites like that shrimp, Himiko."

"Nyeh?!" Himiko took offense, and the two started arguing from the diagonal positions of their desks.

"Next is me, right?" The woman Hiyoko had called Miu stood up. She was another busty blonde beauty, but clearly different from any of the others I'd met today owing to her unique fashion sense. Besides an eye-catching, cleavage-exposing pink uniform, her ribs, one arm, and her thighs were wrapped in what I could only think of as bondage belts, and she wore studded fingerless gloves and tall, spiked boots. Looking at the ensemble and her excited smile, it was hard to know what to expect, but easy to see why Hiyoko had called her a pervert. I couldn't take my eyes off her huge boobs... I couldn't believe it, but they might actually have been the biggest of anyone I'd met today. "I'm sure you've already heard of me, the genius inventor, the legendary Miu Iruma? The Ultimate Inventor?" She put her fists on her hips proudly.

Still staring at her chest, I shook my head "no."

"Huuuh?!" Miu looked genuinely shocked. "Hey, hey, that's not a funny joke! Well, maybe a tent-dweller from out in the sticks doesn't know me, but most people do! Especially people with an eye for beautiful geniuses and future historical hall-of-famers! Anyway, count your blessings you got put in the same class with a golden goddess like myself, and I'll try to forgive the way you're taking apart my clothes with those eyes of yours. It's fair, I have that effect, even on women!"

I tried to stop ogling her, feeling like I had taken bad bait and this school was punishing my new preferences with the worst personality I could possibly have encountered.

"Now, for an interesting fact! What should I share? My latest invention? My cup size? What should it be...?" She tilted her head back proudly. "How about this: I'm actually a virgin, but I'm so fuckin' horny I invent new dildos for myself every week so I don't get bored? And these are some really grade-A monsters, too, like you wouldn't believe-" Her brain finally seemed to catch up to her mouth and her pride fell apart instantly, leaving her a sweating mess. "Aaahaha?! Uh, that was a joke! Th-th-the virgin thing especially! D-don't go projecting your virginity on me just cause you can't get laid, I g-get lots of sex, all the time!"

The funniest part of this was nobody else seemed to be batting an eyelash: apparently, with or without my help, this kind of bizarre display was normal for Miu. The teacher cleared her throat calmly. "Next, please."

As Miu raved on, the next woman stood up stiffly. I realized, at that point, that this next student had a sword scabbard strapped to their back, but they seemed hyper-aware of it, keeping it expertly from even clacking against the chair as she rose. She had silver hair in two pigtails over her shoulders, tied with white ribbons, and wore glasses that magnified her piercing red eyes. She wore a dark black serafuku uniform with a blood-red tie and dark tights. Obviously, she was a tall, slender beauty with almost doll-like skin, but I didn't need to see the sword on her back to know she was dangerous. "Peko Pekoyama, the Ultimate Swordswoman. It's a pleasure to meet you, Minnie. I think we'll be able to get along if you behave," she commented, looking at Miu pointedly as she said it. Finding herself ignored by the target, she shut her eyes and continued. "There's not too much interesting to know about me... I have a boyfriend, and our affection is physical, so if you're interested in that way, there isn't much that concerns you."

When Miu had made a shocking statement earlier, nobody had batted an eye. When Pekoyama made this casual slip, however, half the class almost bolted out of their chairs. Sayaka called from across the room. "When were you planning on telling us you had a boyfriend?!"

Peko looked around the room with red starting to creep into her face, slowly moving her hand towards the hilt of her blade. Immediately, the room went silent.

"That's very good, Peko, thank you," the teacher cut in. "Next?"

The next student rose quickly, then folded her hands over her head in a greeting I didn't recognize. "You'll be fine, Minnie! Ya just gotta believe in the god Atua, who can protect you from blades and even help you find a boyfriend! Nyahaha!" This was another petite woman, with tanned skin and platinum-blonde hair in two long ponytails. Originally, I'd thought she was conservatively dressed, but when she turned around, I became aware the big yellow smock she wore was open to a frilly white bikini top and skirt, along with a tool belt for artistic utensils. She was another student foregoing socks, with slip-on shoes. "I'm Angie Yonaga, the Ultimate Artist! With Atua blessing this homeroom, we'll all have a fun school life, so trust in him!"

"Who's Atua?" I asked, regretting it when I saw her eyes suddenly flash.

Before she could start, the teacher spoke up again. "Your interesting fact please, Angie."

"Huh? I don't think there's a fact about me more interesting than Atua," Angie declared, pressing her cheeks together between her hands childishly. "Hm hm, but the interesting fact about me is that, despite what I told you, Atua has not yet seen fit to bless me with a significant other," she said. Although she was still smiling, she was watching me with wide eyes as though delivering a warning. "I'm Atua's most devout servant, so you'll need to start praying hard if you don't want to be alone forever, Minnie."

"I don't have any interest in a boyfriend at all," I replied without hesitation. Of course, it didn't carry across the room. Now that I thought about it, she must have lipread me saying "Who's Atua?" before...

"Next!" The teacher called. When the final student didn't stand up, she tried again. "Next-"

"I'm not doing it and you can't **** me to. Do you want to die?" The student at the front-right seat of the class growled at the teacher.

To me, it sounded like those words carried actual killing intent, but the teacher just smiled and laughed. "Oh come now, Maki! Everyone else has introduced themselves. I'm sure Minnie wants to meet you, too!"

"... I don't have a problem with meeting Minnie," the student explained herself. She rose to her feet, and I saw she was a slender Japanese beauty with incredibly long, dark ponytails held in place by pins and scrunchies, blunt bangs, and sharp red eyes. My impression of "most like a rabbit" shifted to her naturally. She wore a red serafuku uniform with white accents, a black skirt, tall red socks, and serious brown heeled boots. "My problem is with these introductions. Everyone's making fools of themselves... Haven't you noticed?"

"Now, Maki, there's no need to be nervous," the teacher reassured her.

Maki closed her eyes, sighed, and took a deep breath. "I'll keep this as brief as possible then. I'm not going to say anything stupid just to break the ice with you. I'm Maki Harukawa, the Ultimate Child Caregiver. My friend calls me 'Maki Roll'- what the hell?" As soon as the words left her lips, she bit her tongue and went beet red. "What the hell?! How...?!"

While a murmur ran through the class, the teacher tried to calm everyone down. "Settle down, now. I'm sure we're all looking forward to getting to know Minnie better, Maki Roll-"

"Nobody here gets to call me that!" Maki shouted, fixing the teacher with a glare that seemed to work this time. "My friend from outside this school calls me that idiotic nickname... I have no idea what I was doing telling any of you that. Forget it..." She looked back at me, fixing both her red eyes and bright red face on me. "Please."

I had no idea if I would be able to, but I dumbly nodded that I would.

The teacher gave one final clip, restoring her own cheery smile. "And that's everyone, except me! I bet you're ready to stop thinking of me as 'teacher' and finally have a name, right?"

Truth be told, I really, really was.

"I'm Chisa Yukizome, the former Ultimate Housekeeper and your new homeroom teacher! As you can see, everyone's interesting, but I'm sure we'll all have a great and memorable time together. I don't know what your life has been like until now, Minnie, but from now on, your University years will be like nothing you've ever experienced, so make the best of it."

I nodded, agreeing. I was sure my University years would, indeed, be like nothing I'd ever experienced.

She seemed satisfied with my response, and opened the book on her desk in preparation to restart her lesson. "Oh, also! I have reason to believe everyone in this classroom is either a lesbian or bisexual, like myself, and we're not that far from the same age, so it'd be perfectly reasonable to indulge in occasional sexual fantasies in private, like I do with most of the class."

I stared dumbly at Ms. Yukizome along with the rest of the class.

"That was a joke," she added, slamming her hands onto the desk perhaps slightly harder than she needed to in order to drive the point home. "I was just showing you kids that if you get carried away, I can roll with the punches too, all right?" She picked up her book and gave a wink. "Why don't you all mingle with Minnie for a moment while I take care of something real quick?" She stepped a pace too quickly out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Everyone was quiet for a moment before Miu piped up. "Is... Is Ms. Yukizome going to masturbate?"

Tenko rose to her feet and shook her head with ferocity. "Aaah, Miu, I won't forgive you if you impugn our lovely teacher's integrity like that! Your vulgarity sometimes too closely resembles that of a man, and tarnishes you! She is... simply getting a breath of fresh air after our eventful series of introductions!!"

...

That was, indeed, a long series of introductions, each of them followed with an embarrassing fact I couldn't imagine the person would normally let slip, so I could count it as a successful test of the ring. Still... there were a lot of personalities here. It was another reminder that I could truly have an eventful and amazing University life without using the ring at all.

And yet... I knew that wasn't going to happen. It turned out my strike zone was the whole damn baseball field.

Model-like and friendly girls like Kaede and Sayaka...

Intense and muscular girls like Akane and Tenko...

Small girls like Himiko and Angie...

Scary girls like Mukuro and Maki...

Girls as pale as Peko and girls as dark as Aoi, I felt a stir when I thought about any of them. Needless to say, I wanted to do a lot more than introduce myself to any of them, but I thought it might be a good idea to greet someone more personally, overcome my nerves, and at least try to make an effort at social interaction.

Thinking time! Who would be good to talk to?

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