I make it to class and make some introductions.

Regina grabbed one of my flared sleeves, nearly causing me to trip and take both of us with me. "Minnie, slow down a second. I found your classroom, and I'll lead you there to keep the show rolling. But before that, let me ask you a question. Just curious, but... Did you tell that creepy blonde chick about the Ring just now?

"... Yeah." Now that I said it out loud, I didn't need Regina to tell me how bad of an idea it was. Until I got more used to it, telling anybody about my magic woman-controlling ring was an incredibly dumb move.

Regina smirked, reminding me she was reading my thoughts. "I'm not here to judge you. As long as you're working towards satisfying your lust, I'm fine with it, even if you make stupid decisions. Just means our time together might be a little short, but hey, you're the boss. Here's another free piece of advice, though: a lot of the time, you might not want your targets to notice anything strange is going on. Sometimes this power is called 'obliviousness' or 'normality.' It's important to do that or something like it if you don't want a mob after you, once they suddenly realize their lives are going screwy and you're the one reaping all of the benefits."

"Huh... That kind of feels like cheating, doesn't it?"

"Oh, fuck off. You're in a little deep for that kind of concern, aren't you? Think about it... You got upset when you thought Kaede hated you earlier, didn't you? Well, the easiest way to make someone not care about the freaky business you're getting up to is to keep them from noticing it at all. You know, easier than hiding what you're doing is if you make a rule all women acknowledge about you that covers your actions... That's probably a bit beyond you right now, though."

"I don't really have time for this. Can you show me my class?"

The Ultimate Ring **** laughed, smiled, and opened the door next to us. Apparently I'd already been just outside my class's door. When she walked on in, I could see the students inside turn to face her, then I heard the lesson continue without interruption. Even from here, I could tell it was an eccentric bunch of classmates by their crazy outfits, but a part of me was happy to see they were so serious about their studies. Feeling a mixture of shame at how lightly I was taking the University and relief at how they seemed to be the type to politely ignore a late arrival, I slipped in-

Immediately, everyone shut up and turned their eyes to me. I forgot Regina's weird presence-hiding magic! I was pretty jealous of it... A few of my classmates were chuckling under their breath, but at least they didn't bust out in open laughter. I felt like I would have wilted and died...

The woman at the head of the class must have been the teacher, although the huge pink apron she was wearing reminded me more of a wife. She was older than the rest, but I figured it couldn't have been by ten years, and she gave off the energy of a mom and an older sister rolled into one. Her orange hair was kept in a huge ponytail by a white bow, with an unusual uneven balance of bangs framing her big green eyes and fair face. She wore a sky blue dress beneath her apron, with a white dress shirt and sheer pantyhose beneath that. She wasn't that much bigger than me, but her chest was... Her endowment was almost on par with Junko's (well, before I'd gotten to Junko's, anyway).

She threw a piece of chalk at me that I barely managed to dodge. When I finished ducking and covering and peeked open an eye to look at her face, she was wearing a serious, business-meaning smile. "I trust we've learned our lesson about showing up late to my class? An early student is a tidy student, and a tidy student is a healthy student! I intend to keep my class tidy and healthy!"

I bowed sheepishly a few times and hurried to the one desk that was free, in the back corner of the room near the window. "Yes ma'am. So sorry ma'am." I took a seat and started taking my books out.

"Oh, don't sit down! Now that I've gotten that out of the way, we're all going to introduce ourselves real quick and make you feel welcome. Why don't you start? Tell us who you are, what's your talent, and what you like. Anything you think's important!"

Slowly, I rose to my feet, feeling a mixture of friendly, uncertain, and barely interested eyes on me. I was getting stage fright, desperately wishing I had my headband so I could introduce myself as a stage performer and not as the awkward clown I felt like. I opened my mouth, but only a croak came out. "Minnie... Royal..."

"I believe you can do better than that," the teacher chided me good-naturedly, trying to coax out a more energetic response. "Minnie, tell the class what you're all about!"

I crossed my arms and tried to **** the lump out of my throat. I knew I ought to be able to talk, but the eyes on me felt oppressive... I didn't want to say something and sound like an idiot, but I didn't want to say nothing and look like an idiot, either. I took a deep breath and clenched my ring finger, and prayed that whatever I said would be good enough. I muttered in a voice too low to possibly be heard at the other end of the classroom. "I'm Minnie Royal. I'm the Ultimate Ringmaster. I like large animals. I don't like formal events or giving speeches."

Everyone in the room looked at me and nodded. The teacher smiled. "Good, Minnie. Anything else important to know about you?"

I tried to think what was important, and, like an idiot, almost spat out details on the stupid ring. Instead, I tried to shift to the next most defining feature I could think of. "Uh... I like girls? Oh fuck, I didn't just say that. Oh fuck, I said 'fuck' in my introduction." My embarrassing first-day-of-school nightmare scenario was playing out before my eyes! I raised my hands up to cover my face, peeking through them at the class and the teacher like I was looking at a horror movie.

Everyone just looked and nodded again. The teacher wore the same smile, nodding again. "Very nice. Anything else?"

By this point, I understood what was happening. I slowly lowered my hand, giving what I felt like must have been a creepy, nervous smile to the others before I cleared my throat to continue. "Uh... Also, I... have a dick. That's important, right?"

"Very interesting," the teacher told me with a polite smile. "Is that all?"

By now, I was starting to get into it, plopping down in my chair with a cocky grin and folding my hands beneath my chin. "Honestly, I love chicks with big boobs like yours. I met one in the hallway and felt her up, and it'd be my pleasure to-"

"So, this is Minnie, everyone!" the teacher suddenly announced, leading everyone in applause. "Make sure to treat her well and enjoy your precious University days with her, okay?"

I looked around the classroom stupidly. Oh, fuck... When I sat down, did I break the illusion that everything I was saying was part of a normal introduction? Luckily, my voice didn't carry, and I didn't think anybody else heard what I was saying at the end... That would be nice, so I scanned the classroom to confirm it. Sure enough, unless everyone truly had a poker face, responses seemed to range from bored to satisfied, with two exceptions: the desk in front of mine, where Regina was watching me with a smirk and gesturing to the side with her eyes...

And the desk to my right, where Kaede was watching me with a shocked expression she was working to turn into a grin. She waved her hands in front of her apologetically like I'd accused her of something. "Oh, don't mind me, I'm cool with it! In fact, I think that's great that you're already, uh, making friends and having fun!" she reassured me, determined to keep making eye contact in spite of her red face.

I couldn't say for sure, but I thought this reaction probably wasn't an effect of the ring, but simply Kaede trying to be as understanding and friendly as she could to make me comfortable. I wished she'd just pretended she hadn't heard it, though... I slumped in my desk and briefly covered my face with my hands. In the hands of a screwup like me, this power seemed like as much of curse as a gift...

"I don't think that's terribly grateful," Regina told me with a raised eyebrow, turned around in her seat. "You can't tell me you aren't having any fun. Minnie, remember that old adage when it comes to public speaking? The one about 'imagining them in their underwear?' Soon, you won't have to imagine it."

I was scared to even think along that line. What if I did imagine everyone in their underwear, and everyone changed except for me? Was I going to be under this stress every day of my life from now on?! It wasn't that I didn't want to use the ring's power, but I didn't want to keep fucking up with it! I'd humiliated myself with my introduction-

"Uh, you didn't humiliate yourself except with one person? You successfully rodeo'd all the other reactions, remember?" Regina sounded exasperated.

"Well, it was humiliating for me!" I hissed at her. I was sure I was about to endure a class of like fifteen other people giving their well-prepared introductions after my fiasco...