Tim's First Trade

“Alright then, can you make her love me?”

Her nose scrunched up and her eyes squinted, causing her bark-like skin to bunch up. Slowly she shook her head.

“You’re not thinking,” she told Tim, “I can’t make anyone do anything. That wouldn’t be fair. That wouldn’t be just. If you want something, then you have to trade for it.”

“Okay, I think I get it,” Tim said, despite not getting it at all, not yet anyway, “I’ll trade for her love.”

“Love of what? Love is too big. Do you want her love of sunsets? Love of tacos? Stop screwing around with philosophical concepts and pick something concrete. Otherwise I’ll feed you to my sister.”

Tim paused. He'd never had anything like this happen to him before, and he didn't just mean the mystical aspect of his day. His world had always gone one way, a universe based on rules, science, objectivity. Never before had his entire world view been turned on its head so quickly, so completely. He felt like a changed man, but not for the better. Everything was shaky, everything new, everything scary.

But the possibilities! His life was terrible because he was being screwed with by higher beings, and now he had an advocate, someone looking out for him! Finally, Tim's life could take a turn for the better! And he knew exactly what he wanted.

This thing with Nancy and Gary, it wasn't unique. Over and over again Tim had been growing up, Gary had attracted girls to him, especially ones that Tim liked. He never got it. They were similar personalities, around the same height, both thin. For whatever reason, Gary was more attractive to women than Tim. He wanted to put a stop to it.

"I'd like to trade for what attracts women to Gary, whatever it is that makes him successful with them."

"Ooh, now that's something I can work with," the old woman said, wiggling some fingers in the air toward the car where Gary sat, "I can see it. It's there, ephemeral, but real. Seems to be tied into his soul a bit, maybe put there by one of my brothers at birth. Doesn't matter, it'll be yours."

Tim grinned. Finally, he was going to have the life he deserved!

"Now, we've got to make this thing fair," she said, wiggling her fingers at Tim, "I don't see anything tied into your soul the same way, so I'll get get something around the same size from your regular life. Hmmm," she began to wave her hand from left to right, as if scrolling through a menu, "no... no... too big... too small... too complicated... aha! Here we go!" She punched a fist forward, which briefly smoked, waved both hands over her head, then announced, "It is done! The trade is complete."

"What did you take?" Tim said absently, impatient to get time moving again so he could enjoy his new gift.

"Your wardrobe," the woman said, "I'll see you next time my sisters try to mess with you!"

"What?!" Tim shouted. There was a strong metallic smell and the woman vanished, just as the world started up again. The birds sang, the wind blew, and in the Honda Civic, the sound of Nancy's laughter returned.

Tim looked down at himself. The fear that he would be standing in front of Nancy and Gary, out in public, completely nude, was unfounded. What he saw, though, might have been worse.

On his feet were a pair of pink and black sneakers, his legs in a pair of tight jeans that came down to just above his ankles, and instead of a black Van Halen t-shirt, he was wearing a tight black t-shirt with a pink set of kissing lips painted on the front.

Tim was wearing his sister's clothes.

"So what do you say?" Nancy's voice brought Tim back to the present, "We could pick you up next time."

Tim locked eyes with her and saw something different. She was staring at him, appraising him. There was something else in there. Appreciation? Her lips were curled up in a slight smile.

"Yeah, bro," Gary called out from the driver's seat, "It won't be a big deal."

Nancy rolled her eyes at the sound of her boyfriend's voice, "Just text us. Get my number from Gary, just in case, and you can reach me if he's not around."

"Uh, sure?" Tim said, feeling very exposed.

"Then it's a deal," Nancy said, grinning, "by the way, you look different. Did you change something? New haircut?"

"No, I, uh..."

"Whatever it is, keep it up. It looks good on you," Nancy said warmly, eyeing Tim up and down, "Let's go Gary." Her voice sounded cold as she ordered her boyfriend to drive.

Tim watched as the Civic pulled away, leaving him alone on the sidewalk in front of his house, not sure how he should feel about what had just happened.