A Red Herring?

Pulling up the pair of tight jeans, Peyton buttoned them up with not much difficulty. That ease of action led to a sigh of disappointment from the young woman lounging on the king-sized bed. Unsure what caused her best friend's latest noise of dismay, the blonde figured she'd better get it over with and ask.

"What?"

"Huh?" Lana feigned ignorance as she flipped through one of the fashion magazines she'd found in the bedroom. The redhead appeared every bit bored as she waited for her sister to finish in the shower.

"Don't huh me. I heard your comment," Peyton shot back as she pulled out a tan sweater from the drawer. "What's wrong with me now?"

"Oh, nothing really," Lana remarked, turning back to the previous page, frowning at the woman or outfit, before resuming her lazy browsing.

"Just get it over with. I don't have all day."

"Well, since you asked," Lana raised her head, allowing her to scan her friend's premier legs and ass. "Those jeans are far too loose. You need to go down at least one size, if not two."

"Two?! I wouldn't be able to breathe," Peyton responded, shaking her head.

"Exactly! The whole reason they call them painted on is that they are so tight that they--"

"I'm aware of why people call tight jeans that," Peyton interrupted. "And you know that!"

"I'm just saying that you should spruce up the sex appeal a little more. I wouldn't want my bestie to miss out by looking dowdy."

"I am not dowdy," Peyton groaned, double-checking her outfit in the mirror. I look comfortably cute. "And besides, there isn't anyone here that I'm interested in dating."

"Nate seems willing to work on of the opposites attract cliché," Lana smirked. "I imagine you could use the workout," she added suggestively.

"Yeah, that's not happening."

"Or you could teach JoJo a lesson by making her work to keep Jared's interest. Wag that tight ass of yours in his face," Lana continued.

"Nope."

"Or we could compete for the master of the house. What do you say, Pey? Wanna hold a competition to see which one of us can get Harvey Diamond to ravish our body first?" Lana wiggled her eyebrows.

"Ugh, no! He dated my aunt!"

"All the more reason. Your Aunt Beverly puts on a prude act. Yet, she managed to keep him locked down for most of high school. Shows that you Tarvers got that inner freak buried deep down."

"Aunt Beverly is a Fallon," Peyton pointed out the obvious to her oldest friend.

"Whatever! You know what I meant," Lana huffed.

"Hmm, maybe you're right," Peyton mused. "Perhaps I should give Finn another once over. What do you think, Lan? Should your two best friends get together?"

"That is not funny, Peyton Tarver," Lana glared.

"It's not? Hmm, you know, me and Finn have a lot in common. It would--"

"You agreed that dating him was a bad idea. So stay away!" Lana snapped.

"I did, but no matter how hard you try, Finn will end up with someone else. You can't sabotage all his relationships. Now, if you're done, I need to check on my brother," Peyton stated, walking past the bed toward the door.

"Last chance, Pey. You know, Spencer might chip in to help his boss again. What if he drives all the way out here with Whitney? Do you want to disappoint him with that look?" Lana challenged.

Peyton didn't verbally acknowledge Lana's speculation, but she did veer off course from her route to the door. Her new path took her to the dresser mirror closest to the door. Triple-checking her appearance, Peyton fixed a couple of hairs that needed correcting. But overall, the blonde felt satisfied with what she saw in the mirror.

"I look good, and you know it," Peyton stated, looking over her shoulder at her friend.

Lana shrugged in acceptance. Only when the other girl reached the door did she speak. "Hey, do you think Harvey uses these fashion catalogs to shop for his next conquest?"

"What?" Peyton laughed in response.

"I'm just saying that he's known to pick up models, and this page's corner is folded over. Should I make myself up like this for tonight?" the redhead questioned, holding up the magazine.

"Forgot about letting Mr. Diamond add you to his conquests. Your parents wouldn't go for it. Not one bit. And I mean, put you in a convent type of way," Peyton replied. "You're lucky your dad doesn't know about those other older men."

"Girl, you don't know what it's like to be with an older, experienced man. I bet Big Dick Diamond knows what buttons to push without even trying hard," Lana speculated dreamily. "Let's see how you downplay that after experiencing it a single time."

"Just remember, Lan, you aren't as sneaky as you think. There is going to be a ballroom filled with your parents' friends and enemies. So put a kibosh to the idea."

"But I want a memorable New Year's Eve!" Lana whined.

"I have no doubt about your ability to make that happen. However, I wouldn't use that page to help bait your hook. For all you know, Whitney might be the one saving that page," Peyton chuckled, leaving the bedroom.

---

Waiting several seconds after knocking, Peyton entered the den and stopped suddenly. Sean sat on his foldout bed with a half-eaten omelet. Seated nearby in an armchair, JoJo froze with a mouthful of breakfast.

"Oh, I didn't know..." Peyton trailed off, looking around as if she could think of a reason to back out of the room. After a few seconds, she took a deep breath and proceeded to apologize. "Jo, I'm sorry that I barged into your room before. And while I strongly feel that you should lock your door while..." Peyton glanced at her brother's curious expression before leaving the rest left unsaid. "Still, I should've knocked and not screamed at you. For that, I'm sorry."

"That's a-okay, Peyton," JoJo cheerily chirped. "Maybe I wanted someone to walk in."

"What?!" Peyton managed to get out in her shock.

"Wait, what did I miss?" Sean questioned.

"No-nothing," Peyton replied, troubled by JoJo's suggestion that she wanted a voyeur.

"Oh, it's not nothing," JoJo insisted. "You won't believe what your sister did."

"What did she do?" Sean asked, his eyes alternating back and forth as Peyton repeated that nothing had happened.

"Peyton, the girl who I look up to as a big sister, thought that I snuck into your room last and rode you like a cowgirl," JoJo revealed.

"I never described it like that!" Peyton denied while Sean gasped in shock. "Wait, I never even asked you about last night. How do you even know?"

"A little birdie told me," JoJo stated, folding her arms and appearing distraught. "I'm very disappointed in you, Peyton. How could you think that of me? Me! The girl you've known since I was a baby."

Left speechless, Peyton turned to face her brother, but he kept his mouth shut tightly. Finding no help there, she struggled to explain her reasoning. "I'm sorry, Jo. It's just that ever since you had sex with Jared, you've been on some sexual high. I didn't mean to suggest that you came in here planning to take advantage of Sean. Maybe you came in here to check on him and lost control."

"That's what you thought happened?"

"I don't know. I've been trying to eliminate suspects for Sean, but I'm a terrible detective," Peyton sheepishly admitted. "I'm sorry for thinking you could ever do that."

"Well, you shouldn't be sorry, Peyton," JoJo's tone and mood changed back to cheery. "You're practically Sherlock Holmes. It didn't quite happen the way you thought, but it was close."

"What?!" Peyton exclaimed.

"Last night, after Mrs. Lockett walked in on her son banging the crap out of me, I came up here to check on Sean. I knew that he'd been experiencing crazy dreams because of his painkillers. So I sat down in this very chair and watched over him. And, oh boy, did I watch. I watched his dick get big and hard from his dream. I mean, I never knew he was so huge. Did you know, Peyton?"

"N-no," Peyton replied before muttering. "Not until this morning."

JoJo's eyes shot up at the muttered line and glanced over at Sean. He still sat with his mouth shut tightly. The once shy teen shook off the unasked question and continued her tale.

"I tried not to, Peyton, I tried super hard not to, I swear. I should've fled when the butterflies started, but I couldn't. My best friend was in pain, and I knew how to help."

"Oh. My. Gawd!" Peyton shrieked.

"That's what I screamed after pulling Sean's underwear off," JoJo nodded. "Your mom always told Sean to share his toys with me, but I never imaged that I'd find my new favorite in his pants. Sleepovers and joysticks are going to take on a whole new--"

Unable to hold it in any longer, Sean's mouth burst open, bringing with it a round of laughter. JoJo shot him a dirty look for not lasting longer while Peyton stared at him in confusion.

"Sean, this isn't a laughing matter!"

"Geez, Pey, don't be so gullible," her brother managed to get out before another round of laughter.

"Gullible? Wha--you mean--JoJo!"

The brunette joined her best friend in his laughter.

"Why, you little brat!" Peyton continued after realizing that she'd been duped.

"After I told JoJo what happened last night and your theory, she tried that tall tale too," Sean recounted. "Unlike you, I know all of her tells when she lies."

"And I want to know what they are!" JoJo jokingly demanded. "Or I will strip you naked some night and let your parents think we screwed."

"Not gonna work. My mom will probably start planning a wedding," Sean shot back.

"Then I'll wait until Newt is over. I bet he'd freak out for weeks if he thinks we boinked," JoJo threatened.

"Go ahead. I'll tell Zoey what happened. How do you think--"

"Enough!" Peyton snapped. Despite the adult content, the older sister suddenly felt she'd been transported back in time to when she babysat Sean and JoJo. The two best friends could act like little angels until their parents left for a night out. Keeping an eye on the younger Zoey had been nerve-wracking enough without their games. "Dammit, JoJo! Why the hell did you make up that lie?"

"You shouldn't barge into my room while I'm jilling off and yell at me," JoJo responded.

"Wait; what?" Sean's eyes shot open.

"None your business, Sean," Peyton explained.

"Yeah, what I do in my bed is none of your business," JoJo agreed.

"Oh, you little brat. I should tickle you for that," Peyton threatened.

"Go ahead. I'm not afraid of tickles anymore," JoJo motioned with her hand for her next-door neighbor to try.

"Hey! Stop that, right now!" Sean interrupted, breaking off the staring match. "I thought we're trying to figure out the owner of those panties," he added, pointing to the black lace pair on the nightstand.

"Did you tell Jo everything?" his sister asked.

"Oh, he told me everything," their next-door neighbor nodded. "And I thought my dreams got porny."

"I know! Sean's get pretty warped," the blonde agreed.

"Is that how all teenage boys dream? He practically knocked down all the cheer squad and their moms. In one dream!"

"And it wasn't just their cheerleader moms. Newt's mom and yours was pretty--"

"My mom?!"

"Uh..."

"You didn't tell me that my mom was in your sex dream!" JoJo screamed. "Sean!"

"Whoa, whoa, keep it down, Jo," Sean hushed with his hands and words. "Let's focus on discovering the identity of the owner of those," he gestured again to the black underwear.

"Don't try and change the subject, buster," JoJo started, but Peyton convinced her to drop the dream for now.

"Uh, so I guess it takes a certain kind of girl to wear panties like those," Sean struggled to describe a more sexual girl.

Peyton and JoJo looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"What?" Sean asked in exasperation and embarrassment.

"Sean, do you think only slutty girls wear fancy, sexy underwear?" Peyton asked her little brother in that tone of voice best used by older sisters.

"Wha--I didn't--no, no, no!" Sean stammered.

"Maybe it's time for Mom to give you the underwear talk," Peyton teased. "She gave me this whole spiel when I started high school about wearing sexy underwear. Not for men to see but for myself to feel confident."

"Oh, I go that talk the other night!" JoJo chimed in, causing both Tarver siblings to face her.

"Only this week?" Peyton asked in surprise. Sean couldn't speak with his mouth hanging down in shock. "That seems really late. I heard she gave Brandy that talk at thirteen. Which might explain a few things."

"Yeah, she did apologize for waiting so long," JoJo recounted. "Whitney seemed shocked that I didn't know either."

"Whitney?"

"It was more a joint talk by the two of them," JoJo responded to Peyton's arched eyebrow. "Whitney likes to spend her dad's money by overshopping. She has dozens and dozens of pieces of underwear and lingerie that she never wore once. I, uh, now own some of them."

"Until my mom can take you shopping?" Peyton asked, and JoJo nodded. "Yep, I feel for you. That's one trip to the mall that I try not to remember."

"That bad?"

"She brought the Strattons with us. Lana had a ball picking out the trashiest stuff for me. As our moms discussed the finer points of the underwear, she made me model in the dressing room. And the kicker was little Lacey giggling nonstop. "

"Oh, no!" JoJo squeaked.

Peyton noticed Sean sitting with his head in his hands. Holding in a follow-up crack about her mom bringing Sean with her to help JoJo on their shopping trip, the concerned sister instead asked what was wrong.

"Are you okay, Sean? Is the pain back?"

"Can we please talk about something else?" Sean asked through his hands.

"Right, right. So I totally failed at eliminating any of my suspects," Peyton grumpily admitted. "I still think we should bring in Finn. You did tell JoJo."

"She's my best friend, while yours is a suspect, and Finn is her ex-boyfriend," Sean pointed out, earning a begrudging agreement from his sister.

"You really think Lacey or Ramsey might be the person?" JoJo asked both Tarvers while facing Peyton. "Lacey has a boyfriend, and Ramsey, well, you know."

"Lana's my pick by far, but I wouldn't rule out either. Lana complained about them both going in and out last night. Maybe Lace went in under the same scenario I pictured for you. With Ramsey, it could be that she felt guilty, and it led to her trying to make amends."

"I can see Lana, but not the other two. No way," JoJo declared. "I think it was an older woman."

"Uh, Jo, me and Pey already eliminated--" Sean attempted to warn his BFF off from forbidden territory, but his sister jumped in first.

"Really? And who are your suspects?"

"Definitely, Skye. We both saw her last night in the hot tub. She looked primed and ready for a rebound fling," JoJo stated.

Sean arched an eyebrow at how worldly his best friend suddenly acted about men and women. We're going to need to talk about this overconfidence after we get back home.

"Which I'm almost certain Skye got off last night from Nate, Finn, or both," Peyton responded, shaking her head at the scene she walked out on.

"Whoa! For real?" Sean questioned in awe.

"Damn, maybe Jared and I should've stayed behind," JoJo mumbled, rubbing her legs together.

"That's not enough of a reason to paint Skye as a suspect," Peyton said dismissively. "Next?"

"Hey, I'm not done. What about that whole photoshoot thing between Whitney, Skye, and Sean before we arrived? I heard it got steamy enough for a ranger to break up," JoJo related, not noticing Sean shaking his head to stop her.

"A ranger broke you three up? What the hell were you doing, mister?"

"N-nothing. We were taking pictures for Skye's social media at the hot springs. They have rules, you know!" Sean protested.

"And then as she and Mr. Singer got busy in the cave, Skye let Sean watch them--"

"JoJo!"

"You watched Finn's dad and his girlfriend have sex? Seriously, Sean! I'm trying not to see my little brother as a pervert, but...geez louise!"

"It wasn't my fault, Pey, I swear. Ms. Goose wouldn't..."

"What wouldn't that woman let you do?" Peyton spat, her face reddening.

"I, uh, I, well, um..." Sean shot JoJo a pleading look. One that she misinterpreted as asking for her to tell the story.

"She gave Sean a painful blowjob and then snowballed it into Whitney's mouth."

"What?! That fucking bitch! Where is she? I'm going to kill her!" Peyton exploded.

"Uh, she went to Wirchie's with Newt," JoJo revealed, shocking both Tarver siblings.

"Newt is with her?" Sean repeated. "Oh, boy."

"Oh, wait until Mom hears about--"

"Pey, please, no!" Sean urged, lunging over to grab his sister's arm before she could leave the room. "Aargh!"

"Sean!" JoJo exclaimed upon seeing her best friend in pain.

"Sean, are you alright?" Peyton inquired, rushing to his side.

Nodding, the teenager fought back the tears from the searing pain that started to diminish. Then, more vigorously, he nodded. "O-Okay. Just bumped a bad spot."

"You have to be more careful," admonished his sister. "You want to end up back in the hospital?"

"It's not my foot, but the cuts on my leg. You can't tell Mom. It's embarrassing enough already. Imagine if Mom knows and goes after Kimberly. Then everyone will know." Sean gave his best puppy dog face at his big sister.

"Gawddammit! How does one teenager with only one short-lived girlfriend in his life end up in these situations?"

"Tell me about," JoJo nodded, wisely deciding not to mention Sean's bathroom romp with Gabby. "Sean's starring in his own coming-of-age comedy/porno."

"Peyton, please?"

"Fine. I won't tell Mom, but Kimberly is going to get payback," Peyton vowed. "Dammit! Now I almost wish it turns out that it was Lana last night. Also, we have even more suspects!"

Silence filled the room as they pondered the dilemma. In Sean's mind, pictures of the women were thumbtacked onto a bulletin board with their pros and cons as in a detective film. Peyton pictured herself standing behind a two-way mirror. Before her, the suspects milled around in a room as she recorded their movements. The scene started to play out far differently in JoJo's brain. In there, the suspects were paraded before a hard-boiled private called played by Sean in a porn parody of a mystery. She played Sean's secretary while Jared worked as his muscle. Blinking the scene away, the brunette blurted a different scenario.

"Wouldn't it be funny if this turned out similar to Murder on the Orient Express?"

Sean's eyes bugged out before he threw his hands over his face again. Groaning, he sank down onto the bed. Peyton appeared to struggle for a minute to recall the novel's plot.

"Wait, that's the Agatha Christie book where the murderer turned out to be..."

"Nearly everyone on the train," Sean said, grabbing the pillow and covering his face with it.

"So that means..." Peyton started before she became too horrified to continue.

"That all our suspects sucked and fucked Sean," JoJo finished, her mind already picturing how great that would be for a new porn film.