Cristiano Ronaldo dives

As you were thinking, you saw an incident on the field. Cristiano Ronaldo, one half of the modern GOAT debate, got tackled by a City defender and lost the ball. The tackle was completely fair, stealing the ball with minimal contact to the player. However, the United forward threw himself to the ground, milking for a potential call of foul play.

As much as you enjoyed watching football, you hated the charades players engaged in. It wasted time, only frustrated other players and fans alike, and made footballers out to be weak. It made sports like rugby, hockey and netball more enjoyable to watch, though you had a feeling it was only a matter of time until footballing antics plagued all sport. Feeling tiresome of the acting, you decided to enter the fray.

"Yo, Ronaldo." you called, approaching the player.

The real ref hadn't called foul, though Ronaldo stayed on the ground, hoping for the referee to give in. He was clutching his knee, though didn't really look to be in pain.

"Who are you?" he asked, his Portuguese accent making you horny.

"A fan? A ref?" you say, now standing over him, "All I know is I'm gonna have you."