The Long Way

The long way. That’s what had changed Tracy’s life so profoundly. She had known what time her appointment was, where she was supposed to be, but she had chosen to take the long way.

And she was so glad that she did.

For months Tracy had waited to see the specialist, to see the doctor who would fix her, align her body with who she knew herself to be, deep down. When she finally got the appointment, Tracy knew that it would probably be the most important moment in her life. Hopefully she would be able to give her a timeline for when would her breasts be removed. It was a drastic thing to do, but Tracy was ready. She didn’t want to be a woman. She wanted to be with a woman! It was time to stop living a lie, to finally start taking the pills that she had read about, to live the life she was supposed to have.

But then, on the long way to the appointment, Tracy had an epiphany. She had never believed in ‘love at first sight’, thought it was a cheesy cliche in teen movies, but then it hit her.

Love.

True love.

She was at a red light. He was driving a green SUV. She watched as he passed in front of her, catching barely a glimpse of him, and she knew. Deep in her heart, she knew.

Of course this changed all of her plans. She couldn’t become a man! Sure, she hated the way her body felt, but unless he was gay, Tracy needed to start seeing her body as an asset, not a liability.

Horns honked, brakes screamed, but Tracy didn’t care. For the first time in her life, Tracy didn’t have to wait, consider her options, think things through. This was for sure. Traffic laws be damned! Red lights are nothing in the light of true love! There was no way Tracy would let him get away, now that she had seen him.

Not wanting to freak him out, Tracy followed two cars back, making sure to keep her eyes on the prize. Her doctor wouldn’t be pleased. The wait list to see her had been so long, and it would be a waste of the doctor’s time to have a missed appointment, but Tracy was sure she would understand. How could she not? Would anyone think that Tracy should throw away such a pure and true thing as what she had with this stranger just for the sake of something as trivial as gender dysphasia?

Not a chance. Tracy was making the only decision that made any sense. If she felt uncomfortable in her body, she would **** herself to use her body to find comfort. This man, this beautiful man, would be the key. He would unlock what she had always been missing as a woman. He would show her, teach her, what true womanhood was.

He turned down a side street, and so did she. Butterflies were in her stomach, a feeling she remembered from high school plays, just before she would walk into the stage and forget her lines. As she watched him pull into a driveway, she hoped that she did better that day than she did in the play. Because this was the most important moment in her life.