Pow, right in the kisser

As he finally gets the box fully open he is surprised by a spring with a boxing glove tied to the end, which appears to be a trap as it went off and socks him right in his nose. Carl holds his nose and groaned, a mixture of sadness and anger at who would do this and why. He pulls his hand back and notices he is bleeding from his nose. His back ends up sore as well, but he can manage. He sighs as he finally calms down; he's bled before so that doesn't bother him too much, but he isn't the kind to so easily just drop emotions he is feeling. As he slowly but surely gets up, he groans and feels his back "crick," barely making it to his chair in front of the TV. He sighs as he stuffs his nose with a tissue. Does his nose feel...round? No...he must be imagining things because of the pain. He grabs a couple more and ties a makeshift bandage around his nose to keep the blood from staining his clothes, ignoring the TV reflection showing his nose looking slightly red and assuming he just accidentally smeared blood on it and just forgot. He is thankfully able to get nearly all of the blood off but a bit still stuck to it, not enough to stain anything, as by the time he is done, there is only dried-on residue.

He turns on the TV as "Breaking News" interrupted Jeopardy for him, insisting that people around the country were claiming they had been sent random gifts out of the blue, and insisting their current appearances, which all appeared to be rather crude and lascivious costumes of fetishist deviants. He recalls the "gift" that punched him in the face. Didn't it have a pink coloring, with golden accents on the impact design on the knuckles and golden stripes on the wrist straps? Whilst it was suspicious, even if a mix-up had happened, getting weird items sent to people and maybe even...slightly affecting them, nothing exists that could so easily change say...a bimbo who claimed she and her besties used to be a "mommy and twin kids". That just wasn't something that happened. Skepticism was integral to his former profession and his overall identity. He just...couldn't accept it, not without something more substantial than witness accounts, something historically renowned for being unbelievably unreliable. Little does he know the answers he needs are right under his nose.