Porkum's Cum Causes Mild Brain Damage

"Sample materials contains unrecognized biological materials. DNA traces indicate materials originate from an unknown mutant individual. Cells resemble human sperm cells, but are specialized for attacking the brain and central nervous system. Biological models indicate that ingestion will cause degradation of existing brain tissue and decrease the creation of new neural pathways. The effects are not unlike prolonged **** ****, and the mild euphoric effect of the brain cell-die off may be somewhat addictive."

H.E.R.B.I.E. said this matter-of-factly, the synthetic voice did not register alarm or emotion. Sue Storm frowned as she tried to derive meaning from that technicalese.

"Could you explain it...simpler?" Sue said, as she licked her lips.

"The substance you are ingesting is causing mild brain damage," H.E.R.B.I.E. said. "There is a 98.5% certainty that it is ejaculate from a male mutant."

"Oh. Oh God!" Sue recoiled in horror from the sex toy on the table. She stumbled to her feet, left leg a knot of pain as she put too much wait on it. Immediately, she materialized an invisible crutch under one arm to check her fall.

"Porkum," she muttered, still able to taste that salty slime coat her throat. "Porkum's been sending me candies full of his own cum?"

"Identity of mutant source is unknown, but that appears probable," H.E.R.B.I.E. confirmed.

"That bastard!" Sue couldn't even manifest rage. She felt in shock. Her eyes went back to the sex toy on the table. "Is there...is there a cure? Some way to repair the damage?"

"Unknown at this time. Damage is likely permanent. Efforts should focus on limiting exposure to the unknown substance," H.E.R.B.I.E. said.

Sue Storm took a deep breath. Okay. She'd heard about **** killing brain cells. All she had to do was...go cold turkey. No more of Porkum's bonbons. No more of Porkum's sex toy. No more Porkum, period.

"H.E.R.B.I.E., put that toy in...isolation. Clean up the table. Don't leave anything behind," Sue said. She swallowed hard. "And don't allow any more packages from Porkum in here, you understand? Nothing! Not even a card or letter. Straight to quarantine."

"Understood, Mrs. Richards," H.E.R.B.I.E. affirmed.

The Invisible Woman limped out of the room on her invisible crutch, suddenly sober. She reviewed her options. If Porkum had done this to her, then other women might be in trouble. Sue knew she needed to get in touch with people. Try and get a group together to find Porkum, take him down. Call Agatha Harkness and ask her to watch the kids for a little while longer. Maybe call Reed and...

"Tell him what, exactly?" Sue Storm said to herself, voice bitter with recrimination. "Hi, honey, you were gone for a few days and I sucked a mutant sex toy until it splooged in my mouth, and swallowed it which I've never done for you in all our years of marriage, and oh yes I have brain damage now because I'm a lonely, horny slut?"

Sue Storm limped toward the comm terminal. Her actions the last few days suddenly came in sharp focus, and it was galling to her what she had done. Yet somehow, she knew, she would have to find the words to tell Reed something. She couldn't lie to her husband.

"Can I?" Sue wondered, as her hand hovered over the keyboard.