Political Connections

"It's getting late, Joey. Let's find a nice motel for the night. I'm happy to foot the bill."

Joey couldn't quite believe he was driving through Maine in a secret agent's car with the Vice President of America in the passenger seat dressed like some kind of street artist. It didn't feel like the most logical culmination of events to follow his accidental acquisition of a power that allowed him to force anyone to believe anything he said. He could still recall the anxiety he felt when he'd been left alone with Clarissa for five minutes during their first meeting at the White House not too long ago and how he hadn't a clue what he was supposed to say to her. Now that she was effectively off duty the pair had been shooting the shit like old drinking buddies for the past couple of hours. However,. as pleasurable as their time on the road together was proving to be, Joey wasn't sure prolonging it any longer than they needed to was a good idea.

"I know I'm speaking as someone who's way less smart than you are Clarisaa, but are you sure that's smart? I'm probably one of the most wanted people in the country right now and you're the freaking Vice President. Do you not think we should drive straight to our destination without taking any unnecessary detours?"

"And then what? We hang around in one of the world's most high profile cities and central political hubs and wait for the others to arrive? This is a way safer place to lay low than DC, especially for me. And you're right, we probably are the highest profile duo, so we ought to aim to arrive last. We'll just say we're a married couple, if we even need to say anything at all, and share a room for the night."

"And you're okay with that?"

"Joey, we've already seen each other naked. Like, a lot. So I think we can both handle sleeping in the same room."

"I guess you're right. But I still have this horrible feeling that the second we step out of the car someone is going to recognise us both."

"What are you worrying about? With the cap and shades you found in Charlie's glove compartment on you look like a totally different person. I can barely recognise you" Clarissa quipped "And surely nobody would think the Vice President of America would allow herself to look as absurd as I currently do."

"I actually think you look pretty cute"

"We're not actually a couple. Joey" Clarissa reminded him, though she smiled slightly as she spoke.

"Sorry, it's just been a day" Joey responded, a little embarrassed he had said that and not just thought it.

"Tell me about it. That's why we both need a good night's sleep."

----

"Okay, you're going to have to do all of the talking, my voice is too recognisable and I can't do impressions" Clarissa explained as they sat in the car outside a modest looking motel "I used to think I'd could pull off a passable Scottish accent, but then I showcased it to the leader of their Parliament at a drinks function in Edinburgh and it turns out it was borderline offensive."

"So what do I tell them?"

"Why do you even have to say anything beyond "I'd like a room please?'" Clarissa shrugged, calm and logical as ever "They don't need to hear your backstory"

As the pair approached the desk Joey started to feel increasingly paranoid about being identified alongside his extremely high profile accomplice. He had been hoping it would be attended by someone who looked unfriendly or, better still, like they might not speak English well but instead a large, ruddy faced middle aged woman was grinning eagerly at them and looked like she couldn't wait to extend them a warm and talkative greeting.

"Hey there! Good evening and welcome to the Travellers Inn, are you two here together?"

"Yes, we are" Joey nodded as Clarissa stood behind him smiling politely.

The woman at the counter appeared to be looking straight past Joey and scrutinising Clarissa, who was only able to look down and wait for Joey to divert attention back to himself, something he failed to do.

"It's strange" the motelier said as she addressed Joey's disguised companion "You look extremely familiar. Don't I know you from somewhere?"

Clarissa continued to smile as she shook her head.

"Okay, you must just have one of those faces I guess" the woman shrugged, though she clearly wasn't convinced she didn't recognise her pink haired guest and seemed still to be trying to place Clarissa as she continued with business "So is it one room or two?"

"One" Joey smiled as patiently as he could manage.

"One? Okay" the woman didn't seem to be buying that somehow "Under whose name..."

"Mr and Mrs Jones"

Joey had no idea why he hadn't used an alias. His real name already sounded like one anyway.

"Mr and Mrs Jones?" the woman raised an eyebrow cynically "So, you're a married couple?"

"Yes!" Joey exhaled in annoyance.

"Okay sir, you don't have to take a defensive tone with me, I'm just asking for my records"

Now Joey was seriously on edge. It seemed to him there was a fifty per cent chance the woman in front of him was just a nosy, judgemental busy body and about the same likelihood she was onto who they were. This was exactly the kind of situation Charlie had coached him to use his bullet proof powers of persuasion proactively in. Besides, it didn't seem like usleashing some irrelevant low level bullshit on a random, slightly obnoxious stranger he would hopefully never see again could do anyone much harm.

"Look. I don't know who you think we might be or if you doubt our relationship is genuine, but this beautiful woman here..." he motioned forth the nations second in command to stand next to him "is my beloved wife and you can be sure that you don't recognise her from anywhere because she's just a humble homemaker from Maine. If anyone tries to say anything different about who we are or the nature of our relationship that information needs to be completely disregarded. Okay?"

"Okay, I can totally see that now" the woman behind the desk looked a little embarrassed that she had ever doubted them "I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. Please, let me fetch the keys to your room for you."

---

"God, can you believe that receptionist?" Joey complained when he and Clarissa finally made it to their room "Do you think she's like that with all of the guests? I thought she was going to ask to see our fucking marriage certificate! What business is it of hers what our relationship is anyway?"

"I'm sure she was just being curious" Clarissa smiled as she, somewhat oddly, decided to stroke Jeoy's arm tenderly to console him "Although I did enjoy it when you defended the honour of your beautiful and beloved wife."

"Oh that" Joey rolled his eyes, assuming he was being teased "Yeah, I guess I was feeling a little put on the spot there and I'm not the best at improvising. Hopefully the whole humble homemaker thing didn't make me sound like a total sexist asshole."

"Not at all" Clarissa went from stroking Joey's arm to throwing both of hers around his neck "There are those of us who still hold those kind of traditional values dear, darling!"

"What?"

Joey looked confused for a moment before his eyes widened in panic.

"Clarissa, you do know you aren't my wife, right?"

"Of course I'm your wife, baby. And I won't listen to anyone who tells me otherwise, not even you. For what it's worth, I'm more than happy to be a housewife to the man I love and who loves me back!"

"No, no, no! Don't do this Clarissa! You're the Vice President of America!"

"Well, now I know you're just being silly!"

Clarissa giggled and gave Joey a peck on the lips before pulling back and starting to undress in front of him.

It was really hard for Joey to believe it was the nations' number two standing before him wearing nothing but cute little denim shorts. Clarissa had to be one of the sexiest politicians in living memory. But this was probably the most fucked up situation Joey had found himself in yet.

"Now, have you really taken your adoring wife to some seedy little motel room to make stupid jokes about me running the country" she smiled as she walked over and pressed her bare boobs against Joey's chest while fondling his dick through the material of his jeans "or shall we start to have some real fun together on our road trip?"