Poke it, you asshole.

Yeah, yeah, keep your tits on.

I reached out and lightly touched a fingertip to the interface outside the handprints. Nothing happened. I pulled back. Nothing continued to happen.

Hmm.

Reaching forward, I laid my entire hand on the interface. It felt like... like if fog were made solid. I know, that doesn't make sense.

This place was screwing with my senses, I think. Some sort of low-level synesthesia.

Huh. Could be a side effect of not having a body anymore.

I looked down at myself, taking in my black cargo pants and work boots, my dark red t-shirt, and my lightly muscled but well defined forearms. I still looked like me, I still felt like me, but I could tell there wasn't anything there. My soul was running around without a body.

That couldn't be healthy.

Still, with no actual sensory organs that would explain a few crossed wires.

So yeah, the interface felt like cool, dry fog. Deal with it.

Again, I looked around. Still nothing but this blue thing.

Might as well get on with it.

I gently laid my hands on the interface handprints. There was a faint hum followed by a tingling on my palms. The screen gently pulsed, growing brighter for a moment. Then text faded into visibility above my hands.

WELCOME TO THE GREY.

I pulled my hands away and stared at the words for a long moment, then narrowed my eyes.

"If I ever meet the person who named this place, I'm going to break them in half and then shove their head up their own ass."

As I spoke a circle rose out of the screen, forming a button.

I pressed it, feeling, but not hearing, it click. The original text faded, replaced by new.

I REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU HAVE DIED.

My eyes remained narrowed.

"No shit, I was there."

New button. Click, fade, replace.

MANY PEOPLE HAVE DIFFICULTY REMEMBERING THEIR OWN DUE TO THE CONCOMITANT EMOTIONAL TRAUMA.

PLEASE DO NOT PANIC.

I relaxed slightly. It wasn't insulting my intelligence, it was just trying to make sure that whoever wound up here understood their situation.

But still. Concomitant? Really?

I pressed the button again. Click, fade, replace.

YOUR SOUL HAS BEEN WEIGHED. YOU HAVE BEEN FOUND NOT WORTHY OF REWARD, NOR DESERVING OF PUNISHMENT.

YOU ARE IN TRUE BALANCE.

Really? I could have sworn I did more harm than good.

Then again, the big blue computer had spoken. Best not to ask for a re-weigh. It might realize it had made a mistake.

Click, fade, replace.

INSTEAD OF REWARD OR PUNISHMENT YOU WILL BE TEMPORARILY BARRED FROM RETURNING TO THE WHEEL. INSTEAD YOU MUST SET CHALLENGES FOR YOURSELF IN AN EFFORT TO SHARPEN YOUR MIND, HARDEN YOUR WILL, AND MASTER YOUR BODY.

Please tell me I wasn't going to have to spend half of eternity taking math tests and running obstacle courses. Also, the Wheel? Did that mean that the reincarnatonists had it right?

Click, fade, replace.

YOU MAY USE THIS CONSOLE TO CREATE ANY SCENARIO THAT YOU BELIEVE CAN HELP YOU TO GROW. WE BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL BE BEST SUITED TO DETERMINE WHAT YOU NEED TO BETTER YOURSELF.

GOOD LUCK.

This time the new button had a single word printed on it.

BEGIN

I blinked in bemusement. That's it? Better myself? No guidelines, no direction? Just 'better yourself, off you go'?

I stood and thought about it for a few minutes. At least I thought it was a few minutes, it might have been a few years.

This not having a body thing was getting old.

Still if they (whoever they were) wanted me to challenge myself, mind, body, and will, then I think I have just the thing.