Poisoning the Well

"Contacting me was very stupid, you realize."

Isabelle shuffles in apprehension at your right shoulder, Jenny throwing you a glance from her position at your left shoulder. For your part, you simply lean back in your chair and shrug helplessly. "I'm pretty sure we're all out of smart options. Dumb got us into this, and if we're going to get out of it, it's gotta be Dumb all the way down."

"'Dumb' is right. How could you possibly imagine She isn't tracking my movements? How could you possibly imagine She isn't having you watched?"

You shrug again. "I don't think she is. Is she?"

The secretary purses her lips, then shakes her head with an annoyed huff. "No, of course She isn't. So fucking arrogant."

Isabelle lets out a breath of relief as you indulge in a bit of a sly grin. "I figured. She knows there's nothing I can do to her, so why spoil the fun, right?"

The dusky woman huffs again, snapping open a compact to irritably check her immaculate makeup. "Well why not? She's right. There is nothing you can do to Her. Trust me."

"I thought you might say that." You slip one hand into your pocket, the secretary cocking an eyebrow when you pull out the tiny vial of pulsating rainbow power. "So we made this." The woman purses her lips again as you gently set the bottle down beside her, then lace your fingers together and prop your elbows down on the table. "She said her power is 'single-source and limitless'. It's you, isn't it?"

The woman stares thoughtfully down at you for a moment, then gives a **** nod. "Yes."

"So you're...what? A faerie? A genie? A demon or something?"

The woman raises her eyebrows coolly. "Yes."

That is so fucking cool and also so fucking terrifying. Isabelle clears her throat. "What's your name?"

Sighing impatiently, the woman begins to drum her fingers against the tabletop. "****."

Isabelle blinks. "What, that's really it?"

The woman's expression has turned intensely annoyed, but you get the impression that she's as annoyed at herself as she is at any of you. "Her second command was to strip me of my True Name. I'm entirely off the grid, magically speaking."

Jenny pipes in. "What was her first command?"

"To forbid me from killing myself." You blink in surprise as **** lets out a hiss of frustration at what must be very old memories. "Crafty bitch. She knew I'd have taken the escape of **** the moment I figured out this was not going to be a short-term gig." She sighs again, leaning back in her chair as she wistfully waves a hand. "From there it was academic. A few laboriously crafted commands later and She had full access to my power without a single crack for me to worm myself out of. I never got to even grant Her one single tragically ironic wish." She looks like she might spit in frustrate. "What a fucking waste."

You tilt your head to one side. "So she's completely invulnerable? No hidden weaknesses? If water will make her melt, this would be a great time to tell us."

**** actually laughs at that, a short bark of amusement that still sounds quite hollow. "Yes, because I had the perfect grand scheme in place to throw off my shackles and destroy my tormentor, except I lacked the key piece of three high school girls playing dress-up. She has no weaknesses. Look, here,"--she snatches up the vial of Mega Milk, the bottle leaving behind a multicolored trail of afterimages as she presents it with what seems to be genuine admiration--"This is easily the most powerful concentration of magical energy I have felt in...I don't know. Maybe ever. No human could pass this test; the pleasure would liquefy their brain and leave them as little more than a life support system for a pair of enormous udders and a flooding pussy. However,"--she jabs a finger into the table to punctuate every word--"This. Will. Do. Nothing. To. Her. The only magic that can directly affect Her is mine, and She has completely bound me from using that magic against her." She shakes her head regretfully, holding the vial up to the light to peer forlornly through it. "I hope you didn't waste too much time figuring out how to trick Her into taking this, because you three really don't have much time to spare."

You shake your head. "We don't want her to drink it."

The woman cocks an eyebrow at that. "Oh?"

"We want you to drink it."

**** falls silent at that, the only noise the hum of the Bad Starbucks air conditioning and the faint multi-toned drone that shimmers out of the vial. At length, she wets her mouth and speaks. "...I don't understand. You're going to trick me into drinking this?"

It's Isabelle's turn to shake her head. "No trick. We're asking you to drink it, willingly."

The dusky woman scoffs, though her eyes are shaded with uncertainty. "Why would I do that to myself?"

Jenny flips her hair over her shoulder, folding her arms under her breasts as she levels a stern look at ****. "Would you jump off of a cliff, if you knew you'd be dragging her down with you?"

A flare of intense hatred burns the uncertainty out of ****'s eyes as she hisses out her response. "Yes."

"Well what's this then, except with a much softer landing?"

The woman falls silent again as she considers that, an increasingly wild glow filling her dark features. When she speaks, it's almost as if the words are being dragged out of her. "I am forbidden from any act that would harm Her. I cannot take a direct or indirect action intended to harm Her."

You lean forward. "So don't do it to harm her."

****'s tongue darts out across her lips again. "Explain. Explain what you mean."

"Well,"--You tap a finger thoughtfully against your chin--"It's like you said. No human could pass the test. But you aren't a human, are you? Drinking that bottle would potentially be an astronomical boost to your powers, and thereby her powers. If you passed."

The woman's eyes are practically boiling out of their sockets. "If I passed."

"Yes. If. Maybe you can't take an action intended to harm her. But what if you tried something to benefit her, and then just...stopped trying?"

The silence stretches on for what seems like an eternity this time before **** finally speaks, her voice flat and hoarse. "That has to be the flimsiest excuse for a loophole I have ever heard." Before your shoulders can even start to slump, however, her gorgeous face splits in an expression that is less a grin and more a monstrous baring of teeth. "That is the best kind of loophole." With that she snaps the stopper off of the vial with her thumb, cackles in manic glee, and throws back the ultra powered milk in a single gulp.