Planet Bimbo

Adapted form work by victorix & ESchorcho

Giles stood, lecturing to the assembled Scooby gang. There was a demon on the loose that was sucking the life out of its victims.

"Yeah okay Giles we get it life suking fiend." said Buffy snapping back into conciousness.

"We should send Xander after it he'd be immune since he has no life, not now that I'm not having sex with him." Anya said.

"Hey I have....my life didn't revolve around sex with you oh who am I kidding might as well let this thing suck the lack of life outta me." Xander said resting his head in his hands.

"What about Spike he's already dead?" said Tara.

Giles sat down next to Jenny removing his glasses and polishing them and tking a coffee off of the tray that Joyce carried into the dining room eying up the plate of donuts dawn was carrying having been dragged away from the Scoobie briefing by Joyce.
"So" said Willow "we're all agreed we send Sp..........."

Suddenly there was a bright flash and xander and Giles found themselves alone in the dinng room.

Buffy picked herself up off the ground and looked around to see Willow, Tara, Dawn, Joyce, Anya & Jenny also on the ground. Then she spotted three more bodies lying on her opposite side. As they got to their feet Buffy recognized Cordellia & Faith but not the third slim brunette.

"Buffy?" said Cordellia rubbing her head, "What are you doing here and where the hell is here?"

"I don't know but we're definatly not in Kansas anymore, or maybe we are I don't really know what Kansas is like." said Buffy.

"No no no no thi can't be happening again." said the brunette Buffy didn't recognize but from the Texan accent guessed was Fred the girl Angel had taken on.

"What's with the stick?" asked Faith.

"Fred has this thing about portals and other worlds on account of being stuck in one for several years.

"Buffy, I'm scared." Dawn said, grabbing her mother's hand. Joyce, nodded, worried.

"This is very disturbing," Anya declared loudly. "Where Xander? If this is a hell dimension he should be here suffering with the rest of us"

Just then, a figure approached. She was so severly altered, and so strangely dressed, that it took them a moment to recognize her.

The vampire Darla's hair pinned up under a little maid's cap, and her humungous boobs threatened to burst out of the top of her little black french maid's outfit. Her tiny waist was set off by the white lace apron, tied in a bow above her pert derriere, and her legs seemed to go on forever, but perhaps that was just an effect of her extraordindarily high heels.

"Welcome,M'dames, to Planet Bimbo." she lisped in in a faux French accent. "You will come with Darla please?"

"Oh my God!" Joyce said, breaking the stunned silence. "What is happening here?"

"Darla? You're dead. Angel killed you." Willow stammered, staring at the sexual caricature that Darla had become.

"Well, actually an evil law firm brought her back to life as a human. Drusilla bit her and she became a vampire again. She became pregnant, dusted herself to give birth. Yadda, yadda, yadda." Cordelia said, rolling her eyes at how ridiculous her story sounded. Realizing this, she added, "So, yes. She should be dead, and um…not French."

Faith looked over to Buffy, who was starring daggers at the vampire-maid. "B, is she a vampire?"

"Oh, yeah." Buffy hissed, balling her fists up.

"Buffy, what is going on here?" Joyce asked, moving toward her eldest daughter to make sure she heard her. Before she could get there, Dawn reached out and held Joyce by the wrist.

"I think you're about to get your answer, Mom." Dawn said, making eye contact with the confused Joyce.

Buffy leapt at Darla, tackled her, and pinned her down by her shoulders. Darla's incredibly large tits flopped to either side of her and she accepted Buffy's rock-hard punches to her face. In fact, with each punch that Buffy connected, the blonde vampire giggled girlishly. Buffy wailed on Darla, but no harm seemed to register.

"Willow, can you feel it?" Tara asked the redhead, who, like the other girls, stood in stunned silence. Willow turned to Tara and nodded her head.

"Magic." Willow announced. "The pain is registering for Tara but she will never show any physical harm. I sense very dark magics at work here."

"And the fact that Darla is a pain junky works perfectly for whatever perve runs this place." Cordelia huffed, looking for others for their reactions but sighed when all eyes were still on Buffy and Darla.

"If M'dame will kindly get off," Darla lisped, licking her puffy, lipstick covered lips, "Darla can show you to the house for new girls."

"We aren't going anywhere until we get some answers." Faith sneered. "So Mrs. White, or whoever you are, you can stick it."

"Buffy, ask her where we are. We can still get information out of her." Joyce insisted, clutching Dawn's hand harder.

"No need, Joyce. I'm sure I can tell you everything you want to know." A masculine voice called from behind the group of women. They all turned to see a man wearing black slacks and a dark blue silk shirt. He had shoulder-length hair and a cocky grin. Upon seeing him, Cordelia and Faith both gasped in shock.

"It's good to see you girls, too." Came the voice of Lindsey McDonald. "And like my devoted **** said earlier, welcome to Planet Bimbo."

"Long time no see Lindsey. So this is where you got to after Angel ran you out of town." Cordellia said folding her arms and staring sternly at the former lawyer.

Lindsey jumped to his feet angrily at the mention of Angel's name. "He didn't run me out I left unfortuatlly me decisin to turn on the Senior Partners had some consequences and they put a price on my head so to escape them I came here to plot my **** on those who wronged me."

"But if you're here then how could you get us here, portals only work one way." said Jenny, "You'd need to open them in our world."

"I still have a friend inside Wolfram & Hart, she opened the portals, luckily with all the chaos and darkness in you're world right now the portals were undetectable to the Senior Partners." He snapped his fingers, and Darla crawled over to him on all fours. Her ass wiggled from side to side, her black maid's skirt rode-up revealing a black thong sandwhiched between twin creamy ass cheeks.

"As you can tell, we treat women a little differently around here." Lindsey chuckled, rubbing the side of Darla's face. "But don't worry. You're all in for some drastic changes. When you're done, you'll all have Masters and be a lot happier, like Darla here."

"Like hell," Faith growled, lunging at the former Lawyer, and knocking Darla aside. Standing nose to nose with Lindsay, the fiery slayer demanded, "Give me one good reason I won't be grinding your skull beneath my boot heel in 30 seconds!"

Unruffled, Lindsay chuckled and closed his eyes, getting a dreamy expression on his face. "Faith, I remember the first time I saw you, when you were going to take down Angel for us. You really surprised us with the about face. Seeking redemption, and all that noble stuff."

Behind them, Buffy scowled, remembering her trip to L.A. and finding Angel and Faith, together. Not that they were really together, but after what Faith had done, to her, with Riley. Buffy's blood began to boil a little, thinking about it, though she knew Faith had come a long way since then.

Lindsay was still talking, though his voice sounded far away and his expression was vague. Faith wanted to hit him, hard, but something was restraining her.
"To answer your question though," Lindsay smiled, I'd have to ask what boot heel you were going to grind my face beneath. Maybe you meant your were going to smother my face in your massive tits?"

Faith felt a shudder go through her body and behind her, Faith heard the other women gasp. And to her side, Darla gave a little snicker.

Lindsay's eyes snapped open and he gave a wide grin, drinking in the sight of the dark slayer, or of the formerly dark slayer.

Faith didn't notice though because she was looking down, into the mountainous tits stretching out a tiny pink wool sweater to create deep cleavage she could indeed bury a man's face in. Gone was the rocker t-shirt over a wiry, sensual frame, gone were the leather pants and boots. She wore no bra, Faith could tell because of the way her thick nipples poked out the wool of her sweater, and on her impossibly full and curvy bottom there was only a tiny white denim miniskirt, with a wide pink plastic belt. Her legs were bare except for lacy ruffled ankle socks that rose out of high heeled pink sneaker pumps.

Faith's hands flew to her face, and she barely registered her fingers were now tipped with long pink fingernails. "What have you done?" she gasped as her fingers ran over overly full pouting gloss covered lips, fluttering mascaraed eyelashes, pencil thin brows. One hand grasped a bunch of springy blonde ringlet curls. And brought it before her wide open doll-like eyes.

Lindsay smiled, "This is Planet Bimbo, where mean's wishes for women come true. I just made a little wish, that I figured you would appreciate. After all, our sources at Wolfram and Hart suggested you once hijacked Buffy's body. I guess you always envied the bubbled headed cheerleader types. Well, now you're one of them. You can thank me later o course if I don't like it I can always change you in some other way but right now I like this.Any other questions?" Lindsay asked to the stunned faces of the transported Scoobies?

"How do we know that's not just an illusion." Willow demanded.

"You're a witch. You can check it out, but I'd be careful if I were you. Magic works differently here." Lindsay cautioned. Then he turned his back on the women and began to walk away. Uncertainly, they followed him, Buffy supporting a shocked Faith, who was having a bit of a breakdown.