Pimentos a l’Algerienne

Night fell on the Castello and the cast had returned to their rooms with various tasks. Mira and Maya were discussing the various locations they had seen throughout the day and whether or not any of them could be used to their advantage. Lily was going over a sordid Harlequin Romance with Maddy back in their room, and the chef was aghast at what could be written in print. Eliza was asleep in bed trying desperately not to think about tomorrow, while her roommate stared down at the card she had bought earlier that day. Amy was in her room typing away on the netbook while Stella read a book she had grabbed from the library earlier. Arietta was peacefully asleep at her desk at the Sabotage shop. This left the Host’s Lounge the only place of fevered activity.

The Host’s lounge for Castello season normally was a place of discreet observance. It was designed for observation and the occasional nap. As such it was a fairly tranquil, unobtrusive setup. All objects of any import were also designed to be fire-proof for unrelated reasons. So to see Lucian running about arms flailing, one would be forgiven for thinking it was more hectic than it was.

The demon held an old-timey phone receiver to his ear, “Yes, I am aware that level of expenditure is normally reserved for challenges, it was not my intent to-” He was cut off by whoever was on the other end speaking, “Yes, I know I’m the host, but Reyna-she-” more talking from the other end, “I am aware she is just an assistant, yes I have this under control. No, I swear I do. Listen it won’t happen again I-” The line went silent to a dial tone and Lucian chucked the receiver away.

Flames burst from his body, licking at his tan skin, the edges of it turning a charred black, “All that over some gift baskets?! Apparently, infinite resources only apply whenever it’s convenient for them. Fucking bastards!” He kicked the nearby couch and sent it flying, his chest heaving.

He raised his arms up and clutched the back of his head, slowly bending his knees he sank to the ground and the flames died out. “Maybe I should just end it here, they’re already threatening my life, if this is what happens over a gift basket being sent, can I really do this?” He felt his vision narrow to a pinprick of the floor in front of him, “What’s even the point, I’m just going to fade away, nothing matters after all, years of my life spent torturing the wicked and now I’m stuck here hosting a trumped up CW show. It would be better just to end it here…” His eyes drifted to his slapstick, it would be very simple thing with the producer's power.

His thoughts were interrupted by the double doors as Reyna entered, a big grin on her face, she looked down at Lucian on the ground and rolled her eyes, “This again? Get up, what if one of the contestants catches you? Besides…I have something for you.” She leaned in, her smile like a cat that’s caught its mouse.

Lucian dropped one of his arms and **** himself to his feet, his features shifting to his regular disdain, “What is it? What did you do now?”

Reyna tutted with her fingers, “It’s not what I’ve done Lucy! It’s what all our friends have done. You were so smart to send all those baskets out and now many of them have sent gifts back.” She snapped her fingers and a pile of letters and various objects appeared in front of them.

The assistant sauntered over to Lucian’s side and nudged him, “Everyone wants to let you know what they think of the show so far! We’re making an impression Lucy, it’s a good thing. I gathered the ones I thought you’d be most interested in. Go ahead and take a look.”

Lucian looked through and saw a basket labeled that it was from Shar. He had watched her season, both of them. He couldn’t get a handle on the undead woman. The desires she had, her motivations, they baffled him. More than anything, the way she doted on her cast…she should know better than most the filth of humanity.

He picked up the basket and looked through it, there wasn’t much a pile of very pungent cheeses that he assumed were French in origin and what appeared to be Mead? He used a sharpened nail to remove the cork and took a sip. He coughed and sputtered. Nope, still couldn’t handle ****. Seemed no matter how many years passed his body was conditioned in the place in which he died originally.

He pushed the basket off to Reyna, “That one’s from Shar, we’ll have to make fondue for our guests, I’m sure she’d appreciate that.”

He took notice there was no note, well of course not. She probably hated him. After all a demon running the show? It probably symbolized everything she hated. Of course, she would despise him. He was used to it. Whatever.

Reyna began sifting through the cheeses found a box of Wendy’s fries and cheerfully took a long drink of the mead, as Lucian grabbed the next package. This one was labeled as being from Sera, the host of their sister season. The note was tucked away in potted sage.

Lucian grimaced, of course. A plant for warding off evil. That’s all he was of course haha. He grabbed the pot and shoved it at Reyna before tearing open the letter.

"Thanks for the fruit basket, Lucy. How thoughtful of you to include a durian. The jorōgumo who runs our clothing boutique absolutely loves them! Says the smell reminds her of a corpse that's ready for her to drink." -Sera

Lucian stared at the letter, was she being honest with him, no she called him Lucy. Of course that makes sense, she’s mocking him. Mocking him for accidentally duplicating her show when he used the veto the way she did. Mocking him for being hated while people clamor to her for being such a kind understanding host. Changing the game! Fuck her. He clenched his hand and the letter burst into flames.

With a snarl, he turned to Reyna, “We are watching every episode of Bed and Breakfast from now on. Does she think she can mock us? I won’t stand for it, we’re gonna find her weakness Reyna, and then punish her for it.”

Reyna gave a mock salute and returned to drinking the mead peacefully.

Growling, Lucian grabbed the next item, a small package and a letter labeled to be from the hostess of the Domestic Affairs season, Genet. Lucian had also watched her in preparation for running the show. How she handled difficult contestants had been of particular interest to him. Still, he had no idea why she was holding back. With as many problem children as she had in her season, she could afford to start throwing the book around.

He opened the letter and began to read.

Welcome,

It’s good to see yet another season starting. You and your rival have been entertaining to catch up on recently, and I’m looking forward to seeing where you go and how you’ll each diverge. If you need any advice, you can always come to me or any of the other hosts about what we would do.

Speaking of ‘what we would do’, I had some disappointment about how your first transformations and resulting veto went. There’s nothing wrong with using vetoes if you’re inexperienced, sometimes you realize that something you wrote may not result the way you originally planned. There’s not even a problem with how you chose to use the veto you allowed yourself, as there’s certainly an audience for the strength theme transformation you gave your spitfire. But allowing the youth based transformation, or not allowing yourself the second veto, did rob your professor of the easy archetype to lean on.

Age and maturity have their advantages and appeal. The feeling of trust, the ability to put your faith in someone who knows what they’re doing. Caleb and the others have that trust in the professor, and keeping the body they remembered might have helped her use that.

Since my challenge is approaching and I may have some downtime, I could visit and show you the appeal of maturity up close. Reyna could even join us if the two of you would like, I'm sure you both would enjoy the hands-on lesson.

Give Reyna my warm wishes. It’s good to see her moving up, I attached a bottle of perfume I remembered she enjoyed

Kisses,

Genet

Reyna looked over as Lucian read the letter and busted out laughing, “Oh Lucy are you blushing?!” She tottered over and read the letter even as Lucian tried to hide it from view, “Oh is that what you like then? Sure Lucy-” She pulled at the buttons of her top exposing some of her ample cleavage, “If that’s really what you want, We can go see Genet and-” Lucian cut her off by shoving the perfume into her arms.

“No! I don’t care about any of that! Shut up, I’m just so angry my face is red! Who the hell does she think she is telling me how I should use my veto!” Lucian began to stamp his foot in a very juvenile fashion.

Taking the perfume and giving it a smell, Reyna rolled her eyes, “Her evaluation of your veto is correct Lucy. I told you as much it was going to upset people. You can’t get bent out of shape every time a decision you make isn’t well received. Even when you make a good choice that’s liable to happen.”

“Augh! Just shut up!” the demon threw down Genet’s letter reaching out and grabbing another object from the pile. This one was labeled from Sally, the hostess of the gamer season that was currently running. Lucian knew the woman got the job out of sheer nepotism and it showed in how she conducted herself. She clearly knew all the right moves to make and knew how to make a good show. It was a shame that all flew out the window once her emotions got the better of her.

He opened the box and found two cakes, both were lavishly decorated and beautiful. One was labeled for him while the other was labeled for Reyna. Everyone was giving Reyna things, for Sally it made sense. He knew the woman had a soft spot for assistants, but he was surprised just how popular the pain in his ass was amongst the other hosts.

“Sally got you a Cake, here.” Lucian walked and presented the cake to his assistant and watched as she cut into it. Lucian didn’t have much of a sweet tooth himself but he figured it was only fitting to recognize Sally’s kindness. He took a knife back to where his cake was and tried to sink it into the cake. Once it got past the icing he met a barrier. He pushed, thinking the cake just might have a thick crumb and then heard a crumpling sound as the cake bent in on itself.

Eyes narrowing, he moved the icing with his knife and saw that while Reyna’s cake, which she was happily devouring, was the real deal, his cake was made entirely of cardboard underneath the icing.

“Augh!” He plunged his hand at the faux cake and set it ablaze before tossing it against the wall. The flaming icing splattered all over the surface and began to leak like napalm against the wall. All these hosts thought they could mock him. Didn’t they know the pressure he was under? He was doing his best and all they could do was tell him to eat shit. Fuck them. He didn’t need any of their approval. He had gotten this far on his own he-

His huffing and puffing was stopped short by seeing one last box in front of him. Inside was Wendy’s double cheeseburger value meal labeled for Reyna and what appeared to be a pillow in the shape of a horse’s head. The reference alone had him guessing he knew who this was from. He tossed the value meal to Reyna and pulled out the letter.

“Dear colleagues. Thank you for such a thoughtful gift. As your senior host, I would like to return the favor with a welcome gift of my own. I took great care in picking something perfect for you both, from the bottom of my heart. I would like to extend a humble welcome to the Harem Hotel family. Please kindly masticate upon feculence.”

-Dakota Johnson

Dakota Johnson was easily one of the most prolific Hosts that Lucian had watched during his preparation. Her pension for cruelty and punishments that bent to the irony of the contestants' situation had set Lucian at ease. Feeling that maybe there wasn’t such a difference in his previous work and being a Host.

To be told to eat Shit by her, and get a gift that essentially emphasized has fragile his position was. With everything else that had happened…He grabbed the pillow and walked over to a corkboard and pinned it there.

Once it was securely in position Lucian stared at it and then bent over and began to howl and roar in a way that startled Reyna as she munched on her burger.

“FUCK ALL OF YOU!” The Demon’s back was hunched and his voice cracked under the strain of how hard he was yelling, “I don’t need your approval! You hate how I run things?! Just you wait, I’m going to fucking raise this show to the top and then when I’m back in Hell you’ll still be stuck here arranging tea parties for ungrateful flesh bags!”

He stomped and turned to Reyna, “Let’s start talking challenges, I really want to fuck with these bastards now.”

Reyna swallowed another bite of burger and grinned, sometimes you didn’t have to do anything to make the pieces fall where you needed them. Sometimes other people did all the work for you.